Category Archives: Drug/Alcohol Use

If I Ain’t Got You – Chapter 19

Chapter 19 — What Doesn’t Kill You, Makes You Stronger

Jan 4, 2003 – Orlando, FL – The Poole-Walden Estates – JT and Mark’s Bedroom

 “You are kidding, right Angie?”  JT spoke, looking down at Angela as she shifted in his arms.  “Why do I get the feeling that I’m not liking where this is heading?”

“If you shut up and let me finish telling you what happened, then you’ll know where things went,” Angela said as JT sighed.


Downtown – The Movie Cineplex

Angie’s POV

We practically ran out of the theater, stopping only when some fans recognized him, clamoring about to get autographs and to take pictures with him.  I stood by impatiently as he signed their items and posed for pictures, smiling when he winked at me over the head of one of the little girls.  When he was done, we walked hand-in-hand back to the car, kissing and giggling like teenagers on the way.

“My place or yours,” I asked as soon as we were on the road again, cuddling up to him as he drove.

“My hotel is closer, let’s go there,” he answered, kissing me quickly as he tried to keep his mind and eyes on the road.  I slipped a hand under his shirt, teasing the taut skin on his chest and stomach as he squirmed a bit.  “Angie baby, if you don’t want us having an accident, then you need to behave yourself.”

“Oh alright, you big baby,” I said with a pout, moving back into my seat, letting him drive in peace.

Looking out the window, Kevin reached over, touching the skin on my thighs as he rubbed slow circles over my skin, teasing me, as I had teased him.  I shifted again, opening my legs a little further so that he could touch as much as he wanted.  My mind, on sights out the window, I was shocked to hell when he slipped a finger under my panties, lightly teasing my lips, while never taking his eyes off the road.

This man shocked the hell out of me.  He kept me on the edge, but never let me get too far ahead of him as he damn near caused an accident in his haste to get to his hotel.  By the time we pulled into the hotel parking lot, I was soaking wet and ready to make love as soon as we hit the room.  Kevin got out, tossing my car keys to the valet, but letting them know that the car was mine as we made our way inside to the elevators.

The doors to the elevator didn’t even close before we were all over each other again.  Kevin pushed me back against the wall, squatting and then standing with me wrapped around him like a second skin.  We tongued the hell out of each other; the whole while Kevin is freeing himself from his pants.  I could feel him, hot and hard, ready to enter me, but with his history there’s no way in hell he’s getting inside my sugar walls without a raincoat.

“Kevin… Stop… Oh fuck… We… Ahhhh… Need…  Condom,” I gasped as he brought me down against him again.  I clung to him, drowning in warm sensuality as he sucked on my bottom lip.

He reluctantly let me down, catching me when my knees buckled as he attached himself to the side of my neck from behind.  When the bell dinged for his floor, he didn’t even stop kissing me to walk to his room, he simply led me down to his room before opening the door and pushing me inside.

I swung back around, divesting myself of clothes as quickly as possible while still attached to him at the lips.  He pulled away from me long enough for the both of us to pull our shirts over our heads, lips fusing again in liquid need as soon as the deed was done.  I could feel the fear and uncertainty starting to creep up on me, but I brushed those thoughts away like gnats, intent on finding satisfaction with Kevin as soon as possible.

Kevin touched the side of my face, concern marring his features.  “We don’t have to do this Angie.  I can wait you know.”

“No, I want to do this,” I replied, not meeting his eyes as I lay down on the bed and reached for him.  “Come to me now Kevin.”

He wasted no time joining me on the bed, kissing me with an almost savage passion as I rolled the condom onto him.  He pushed me down; lips dueling with mine as he entered me in one savage thrust that made me see stars.  He stopped, allowing me to adjust to his hard length before he started to move.

He started with slow shallow thrusts, teasing me with the promise of fulfillment, but refusing to speed up when I practically begged him to fuck me harder and faster.  He captured my lips, sucking on my tongue in rhythm with his thrusting hips, driving me to the point of no return, before beginning his real assault on my senses.

“Oh fuck baby… So good,” Kevin whispered, panting as he looked deep into my eyes.  He began to thrust faster, punctuating each thrust with a kiss.  “So… Beautiful.”

“Please… Faster Kevin,” I begged, moving my hips in rhythm with his powerful thrusts.  I whimpered when he slammed into me, pushing me closer to the edge.  “Oh fuck… Like that!”

He didn’t respond verbally, he only pushed himself harder to satisfy me.  I could feel my body tighten, a sure-fire sign that I was about to have a monstrous orgasm.  No sooner did I think about it, the explosion began, working its way up from my toes.

“Kevin… I—I cominggggggg!”  I screamed, as spasm after spasm shot through my body.  I could feel Kevin shake as his orgasm slammed through him.

“Fuck… Jayce, so fucking good!”  He yelled, his body jerking as he filled the condom.  I laid there for all of a few seconds before the realization of what he said sank into my foggy brain.

“What in the hell did you just call me?”  I asked, pushing him off of me as I sat up. “I can’t believe you just called me by his fucking name Kevin.  What the fuck is your problem?”

“Angie wait… I—I’m sorry sweetheart.  Please let me explain,” Kevin stammered, reaching for me.  I turned quickly, slapping him so hard that I hurt my hand in the process.

“Keep your fucking hands off of me, you nasty son of a bitch!  I knew trusting you was wrong!  How could I let you convince me in to giving you another chance, when you told me that you were in a relationship with him?  How could I be so fucking stupid!  Screw you Kevin!  If I ever see you again, it’ll be too fucking soon!”  I screamed, grabbing my clothes, trying desperately not to break down in front of him.

I ran into the bathroom, swearing under my breath as I fought to get dressed.  As soon as I was done, I opened the door and grabbed my purse, not stopping to let Kevin say a damn word.

“Angie please… Don’t walk away from us like this,” he said as I walked past him.  I stopped in my tracks, tears slipping down my cheeks as I shook my head.

“Fuck you Kevin!  There’s no more us!  You made sure of that when you called me by his fucking name!  How could you?  What the fuck did I do to deserve that?”  I asked, fighting for control of my raging emotions.

Kevin made his way cautiously over to me, touching my face gently as he took me into his arms when he saw that I wasn’t fighting him.  I surrendered to the pain for a second, letting the hurt wash over me, before I remembered that this is the man who caused my pain.  I struggled and slapped at his chest, fighting to get away from him.

“Let me go damn it!  I hate you!  You bastard!  Get your fucking hands off of me!”  I screamed, finally succeeding in breaking the hold he had on me.

“Angie—Angie, please don’t leave me.  I do care about you,” he softly said as the tears flowed down his face.

“You should’ve thought about that before you fucked up again.  Goodbye Kevin,” I shot back over my shoulder before I ran out the door.  I needed to get home before I completely lost it and that was coming quickly.  First that bitch Valgina, now this shit here.  How much more can I take before I go completely fucking stark raving mad?



“Oh girl,” I said as she looked at me and then shook her head.

“I’ve been crying about this ever since I got back to the apartment,” she said, looking at me with a sullen look on her face.

“Oh Angie, I’m so sorry things didn’t turn out like you wanted them to,” I said, hugging her close.

“That’s just part of the problem,” she said, rubbing at her eyes.

“Don’t tell me he did more than that,” I said, letting her go.

“No, it wasn’t him then, but it’s just as bad.  That damn Kendall is throwing me out of my apartment.  He claims that I pose a threat to him, since I kicked Valgina’s ass,” she said, crying harder as I shook my head.

“What?  How do you pose a threat to him?  How does he know that you kicked her ass anyway?”  I asked.

“They’re related, she’s his cousin,” she replied as she sniffled.  “I have no idea why I didn’t put two and two together before.  They both have the same last name and he told me that he knew me in high school.  I should’ve figured it out then.”

“Ah, so you’re still here,” Mark spoke as he walked into the room, carrying a tray with plates of food on it.  “I bought enough for all of us.  Are you hungry Angie?”

“Yeah, I guess I am,” she replied, taking a plate of food from Mark.  “This looks good Mark.  What’s in the omelet?”

“Ham, cheese, tomatoes, onions and some peppers,” he replied, handing her a knife and fork.

“This smells and tastes good,” she replied, chewing her food.

“You could enjoy meals like this every day, if you moved in here with us,” I told her, knowing she probably didn’t want to move back in across the street with her mom.

“I can’t move in here with you guys.  I would be invading your space.  You two would never have any privacy if I moved in here,” she said, taking another bite of her omelet.

“Girl, you know you wouldn’t be in the way.  I have like five rooms in this house free.  You’re welcomed to have one on the other end of the hall,” I said, popping a piece of cantaloupe into my mouth.  “If you want it, it’s all yours.”

“I don’t know JT,” she said, looking down.

“Girl, just take the room.  It’s not like we don’t know you.  It’ll all be good,” Mark said, kissing her on the cheek.  “I wouldn’t have to go far to get help to get him to agree to things.”

“Ha ha ha baby.  Like you and Angie can actually gang up on me to get what you want,” I said just as the phone rang.  “Hello?”

“Is this JT?”  I heard a voice ask that sounded a bit like Aaron Canton, but I wasn’t really sure because the person was crying.

“Yes, this is JT, who’s this?”  I asked.

“I’m sorry to bother you, it’s Aaron Canton,” I heard him say.  “Look, have you seen or heard from my brother Nick?  He’s missing and I don’t know where he is.”

“I’m sorry no, I haven’t heard from him at all.  He should be at the hospital,” I replied.

“No, he’s not there.  I haven’t heard from him since he was released and I have no clue as to where he went.  I’m scared that he’s tried running away from Mom again and he’s somewhere hurt,” Aaron frantically said.

“Calm down Aaron.  Give me a half an hour and let me make some calls and I’ll see if I can have some answers for you,” I said, trying to calm down the boy.

“Thank you sir,” he said as the connection went dead.

“What’s going on baby?”  Mark asked, watching me.

“Apparently Nick Canton is missing.  Aaron hasn’t seen him since he was released from the hospital,” I said, sliding out of bed.

“Ewwww!  You said he was decent,” I heard Angie say as I realized I was standing in front of her without any sleep pants on.

“Sorry girl, I forgot.  At least he had a top on.  I forgot he didn’t have bottoms on,” I heard Mark say as I turned to see him covering Angie’s eyes.

“Now I know why I don’t want to move in here.  I might see something like this again,” Angie said, getting out of bed with her plate in hand.  “I’m going downstairs to wait for you two.”

“I’m sorry Angie, I said I forgot,” Mark said as I walked into the bathroom with a towel around my waist.

Half Hour Later – Hyatt-Regency Hotel – Nick’s Hotel Room

“How do you feel baby?”  Nick asked, leaning up on the sofa.

“I feel better, so much better baby,” Justin replied as Nick laid his head on his chest.

“I have something to say to you Justin,” Nick said, playing with Justin’s nipple.

“What is it Nicky?  Go ahead and say what you need to say,” Justin sadly said.

“I—I want to be with you forever and ever Justin. I can careless if you’re in that wheelchair or not.  I don’t care what my mother thinks; I don’t care what anyone else in the world thinks.  The only person that matters to me is you and only you baby.  I love you Justin Tanner and I hope to be Nick Tanner someday,” Nick declared as the tears streamed down his face.

“Is—is that what I think it is?”  Justin asked as the tears ran down his face.

“If you think it’s a marriage proposal, then yes baby, that’s what it is,” Nick replied, leaning in and kissing Justin’s lips.

“I—I don’t know what to say baby,” Justin said, hugging Nick close to his body.

“Well I hope you say yes,” Nick said, looking Justin in the eyes.

“Yes baby, yes I want to marry you,” Justin said as the two of them kissed again.

Later that Day – Florida Hospital – JT’s Office


“Look, I really don’t want to be here, of all places, working.  So, just go ahead and tell me what the deal is Candy.  I’ll stop wasting your time, once I find out what I need to know,” I spoke into the phone.

“I’m sorry Mr. Poole, but I’m under strict orders from Mr. Tanner to keep that information private and confidential,” Candy, the nurse on duty on the prison floor stated as I shook my head.

“Excuse me; I really don’t want to have to go up there.  I’m really having a bad day and I’m not in the mood for this crap.  I asked you a direct question about the patient I’m supposed to be talking with right now and you’re giving me some line about Larry telling you not to tell me anything.  I’m the head of psychiatry services and I won’t put up with this impudence,” I said, just as Larry Tanner walked into my office.  “Oh, never mind Candy.”

“What seems to be the problem here Mr. Poole?”  Larry asked, sitting down in front of my desk.

“You can start by telling me why I’m getting the run around with Brian Lang,” I said, slinging Brian’s patient folder at him.  “I’ve been on the phone for a good hour, being bounced from person to person in this hospital, trying to get some information about this guy.”

“Had you asked me first, you would have known the deal Mr. Poole,” Larry sarcastically said with a smirk.

“Why in the hell do I need to ask you anything, before I talk with a patient that’s on my list?”  I asked, standing up as he motioned with his hand for me to sit back down.

“To start, I demoted you,” he said with a cheeky smile on his face.  “You’re no longer the head of psychiatry services around here, Valgina Williams is.  Also, you don’t have the necessary clearance around here to get information on anybody that’s considered confidential.”

“You did what!”  I snapped as he smiled again.  “You can’t do that Larry!  If you’re demoting me and putting Valgina in control of things, then I fucking quit!”

“Well you do what you have to do then JT, but my word stands as it is.  Valgina Williams is the new department head around here,” he said, getting up from the chair as he waved with that damn evil smirk on his face as he walked out of the office.

“Fuck this shit, I’m outta here,” I said, grabbing my knapsack as I picked up my crutches.

Half Hour Later – The Emergency Room Lobby

“Hey JT, what’s going on?  Where are you going?”  Angela asked, walking over to JT.

“I quit this bitch,” JT replied, walking through the lobby.

“You did what?  What are you talking about?”  Angela asked, watching JT like a hawk.

“I quit,” JT replied, pushing the door open with his crutch.  “Larry demoted me, so Val-hootchie is now the department head of psychiatry.”

“He did what?  You can’t just quit.  What about me, what about Steve?  You can’t just leave us here, with that bitch,” Angela said as she shook her head.

“Oh yes I can.  There’s no reason for me to stay here, being subjected to whatever madness that ho has in her twisted damn mind to inflict upon people.  So, I’m saving a whole lot of time, trouble, future possible lawsuits and jail time,” JT stated as he walked into the parking garage.

“What will you do JT?  What about money?”  Angela asked as JT looked over at her and then rolled his eyes.

“I can get another damn job elsewhere if need be, if not, I really don’t need to and you know this girl.  I have money and investments,” JT said, stepping into the elevator.  “Is there anything else Angie?”

“I—I guess not,” Angela replied, looking down.

“Will you be stopping by for lunch?”  JT asked.

“I guess so, probably Steve too, after he finds out that you’ve gone on and quit,” Angela said as her cell phone rang.  “Hello?”

“I’ll look for you two later on then,” JT said as Angela shook her head, holding the door.

“I have nothing more to say to you Kevin.  Lose my fucking number!  Don’t ever call me again!”  Angela snapped, pressing the ‘end’ button on the phone and then sliding it into her pocket.

“What was that all about?”  JT asked.

“Just Kevin, he’s wanting to talk again,” Angela replied, sighing as she shook her head.

“Aren’t you going to talk to him girl?”  JT asked, looking at her.

“Hell no, I’m not going to talk to him.  I told you this morning about what he did,” Angela said as she turned away from JT, shaking her head.

“Yeah, you told me with your words what he did, but you also told me with your body language of how you felt about things.  You have strong feelings for him.  It was just something that happened in the heat of passion.  You told me that he had a relationship with a man, maybe he was thinking about you, but said the wrong name,” JT stated as Angela rolled her eyes.

“Are you even listening to yourself on this one JT?”  Angela asked, crossing her arms across her chest.  “Don’t pull that psychiatry crap on me.”

“I know it sounds strange Angie, but give him a chance to explain his actions.  Just see what he has to say, before you write him off,” JT said, opening the door to the SUV as he got in.

“I can’t do that J, I just can’t.  we were making love and he—he called out another person’s name, a man’s name no less.  How do you think I felt, when I heard him call out Jayce?”  Angela asked, looking at JT as she leaned against the van door.

“I know that hurt you, but like I said, people say things in the heat of passion.  Just hear what he has to say and make sure you listen objectively Angie,” JT said as he started the vehicle.  “It’s Saturday, have a good day girl.  I know I will as soon as I get home.  I’ll be back later on to check up on Kai.”

“Alright you brat, I’ll see you at lunch,” Angela said, sighing as he walked back towards the elevator to head back inside the hospital.

Sometime Later – Larry Tanner’s Office

“Good afternoon Larry, I need to talk to you for a moment,” Larry heard someone say as he walked into his office, noticing someone sitting behind his desk, in his seat.

“Mr. Sylar, how are you doing this afternoon?  What an honor to see you sir,” Larry said, shaking the man’s hand.

“I’m doing fine Larry,” the man replied as Larry sat down in the chair in front of his desk.  “I came here to talk to you because I just heard the strangest thing.”

“You heard the strangest thing?  What was it that you heard sir?”  Larry asked, placing his hands on the desk as he looked at the man intently.

“To start, I just heard that JT Poole quit his job earlier.  I was told he quit because you told him that he wasn’t the head of psychiatry services anymore.  Why did I hear that Larry?”  The man asked.

“Well sir, I—I was told—told that he was being demoted and that the new employee, Ms. WIliams would be the new department head,” Larry stated, stumbling over his words as the man watched him.

“You heard that from where?  Where could you possibly heard that information from Larry?”  The man asked as he watched Larry fumble with his hands.

“I—I heard it in the emergency board meeting this morning,” Larry replied.

“Are you sure you heard that Mr. Tanner?”  The man asked, leaning on the desk, getting closer to Larry.  “I was in that board meeting this morning and I have no recollection of hearing what you just told me.  Which board member made that statement that you’re referring to?”

“Well sir, I—I don’t know which board member it was that made the statement,” Larry replied.

“Well I can honestly agree with you on that note.  I don’t know who said that either.  Mr. Tanner, answer me this.  Why would the hospital promote a new employee to a position of authority over an employee that’s been with us longer than the new employee has been in the field of study?”  The man asked, looking at Larry with mean look on his face.

“I don’t know the answer to that one sir.  I was just going by what I heard sir,” Larry replied as he looked down.

“Again, I don’t know what you heard, but what you’ve done here today constitutes your termination from this company Larry,” the man stated as Larry’s eyes widened.

“What?  What are you talking about Mr. Sylar?”  Larry asked, the tone of his voice rising a bit.

“When I heard that Mr. Poole had quit, I talked with some other employees around here today and they all informed me that you’ve had it in for Mr. Poole for a while now.  After reading some of Mr. Poole’s reports about things you’ve done and then reading reports from other staff members here, it seems everything you’ve done here today; you did because of Mr. Poole’s sexual orientation.  All this information leads me to believe that you only told him he was demoted, just to get under his skin to make him quit.  As of this moment Larry, you’ll tender your resignation to the board and I will assure you that you’ll leave with severance pay.  If you fight me about this matter, you’ll lose and leave with nothing,” the man stated as Larry stood up, shaking his head.

“Mr. Sylar please,” Larry said as the man shook his head.

“I want you out of this hospital by the end of business today,” the man declared as he got up from the chair and then extended his hand to shake Larry’s, but Larry refused as he shrugged his shoulders and then walked towards the door.  “Be out of here by the end of business today or I will have security escort you out.  What you’ve done here today won’t be tolerated in this workplace.”

“I don’t fucking believe this.  I’ve been fired all because of a faggot.  He’ll pay for this,” Larry said to himself, walking around the office, gathering his things.

To Be Continued…

If I Ain’t Got You – Chapter 17

Chapter 17 — Ringing in the New Year

Jan 1, 2003 – Orlando, FL – Florida Hospital – The Emergency Room’s Rape Trauma Unit – Kasai’s Room  

“Get away from me!  Don’t come near me!”  Kasai screamed as Mark rushed into the room.

“I’m here buddy, I’m here.  Shhh it’s going to be okay,” Mark spoke, doing his best to comfort Kasai as he wrapped his arms around him, hugging him to his chest.

“Daddy Mark, he’s here, he’s here!”  Kasai screamed out.

“I know, I know.  Just calm down, it’s going to be okay baby boy, it’s going to be all right,” Mark spoke, rocking Kasai back and forth.

“Is JT coming down Mark?”  Dr. Tripp asked, looking around quickly.

“Yeah, he’s on his way down.  I think he was getting into his chair when I left to come down here,” Mark replied.

“Just so you know, when he gets down here, do what you can to keep him calm.  This is all going to explode beyond this here,” Dr. Tripp stated with a frown.

“What do you mean Andy?”  Mark asked, looking over at Dr. Tripp strangely.

“Let’s just say that one of the guys responsible for hurting Kai, he has some very powerful parents,” Dr. Tripp stated as he looked down.

“I don’t care if his parents have power or not!  This guy hurt my boy and he needs to be punished for it,” Mark said, shaking his head as Dr. Tripp sighed.

“I know that Mark, but I’m just saying that this could possibly get pushed under a rug somewhat and never be heard about again,” Dr. Tripp stated with a frown.

“This will be heard about until the creeps responsible are punished for what they did to him Andy,” Mark said as JT’s voice could be heard outside the room.

“Hey Jared,” JT said as he rolled into the room.  “Officer, where is the person that hurt my child?”

“Ah JT,” Dr. Tripp said, motioning with his head as JT looked at him strangely.

“Andy, where I the guy?”  JT asked, looking around and then back at Dr. Tripp.

“He’s right there, you just passed him,” Dr. Tripp replied, pointing at the young man identified as Jared.

“Where?”  JT asked, looking around again.

“Jared’s the guy,” Dr. Tripp replied, sighing.

“What!”  Mark screamed as he jumped up from where he sat on the bed and then grabbed the kid, slamming him into the wall.  “You hurt him!?  Why did you hurt him?”

“Mark stop!”  JT screamed as the officer and Dr. Trip both tried to pull Mark off the kid.

“Get the hell off of me!”  Mark screamed, holding the kid by the neck as he continued slamming the boy into the wall.  “I’m going to kill him!  He needs to die for hurting Kai the way he did!”

“Daddy Mark stop, please stop,” Kasai softly spoke as he cried.

“Oh baby,” JT said, getting up from his wheelchair as he walked over to Kasai and held him in his arms.

“Daddy, stop him before it’s too late.  I need both of you,” Kasai said as the tears streamed down his face.

“Mark Walden, let the kid go,” the officer said, trying to pull Mark away from the kid.  “Let the kid go, you’re killing him!”

“I’m going to kill him!”  Mark screamed.

“Release my boy Mark!”  Larry Tanner screamed, rushing into the room.

“Your boy raped our son!”  Mark screamed as the police officer and Dr. Tripp tackled him down to the floor.

“Let the police handle this Mark, you’ve done enough man,” Dr. Tripp whispered into Mark’s ear.  “Come on, let’s take a walk.  JT can take care of Kai.”

“I’m not leaving out of here!”  Mark screamed.  “Not until that little bastard pays for what he’s done!”

“Andy, would you please take him somewhere and let him cool down.  Once he’s done that, then bring him back,” JT suggested as Kasai cried harder in his arms.

“Are you okay Jared?”  Larry asked, helping his son up off the floor.

“My—my head hurts Dad,” Jared replied, crying as he rubbed at his head.

“What’s this all about?”  Larry asked, looking back and forth between JT, Dr. Tripp and the police officer.

“It’s very simple Larry, your son raped my son,” JT replied as he looked up at the man.

“What?  That’s not possible, my son isn’t a fag,” Larry said, putting his hands on his hips as Dr. Tripp sighed and then shook his head.

“Excuse me!”  JT snapped.  “I said your son raped my son!”

“I heard what you said and it’s not possible!  My son is straight, he doesn’t sleep with other boys,” Larry said, shaking his head.

“Apparently he does.  He raped my son and the police officer there has the DNA evidence to prove it!”  JT yelled as Kasai covered his ears.

“Daddy, please stop, don’t get angry,” Kasai softly said.

“That’s it, everyone out!  Everyone get out now!”  JT snapped as everyone stopped in their tracks, turned around and then exited the room.  “Baby, everything’s going to be okay, I’m here with you.”

“It’s not going to be okay.  Daddy Mark’s mad, you’re mad.  I shouldn’t have snuck out of the house,” Kasai said as he shook his head, sniffling as he rubbed at his eyes.

“Don’t you worry about that baby, just think about something else,” JT said as Dr. Tripp came back into the room with a sad look on his face.

“I gave Larry the report, he read it for himself and now the police have taken Jared into custody.  Jared told the officer who the other guys were that helped him.  They’ll pick them up too and they’ll be arrested,” Dr. Tripp stated as JT looked up at him.

“Good,” JT responded as he hugged onto Kasai.  “Where’s Mark?”

“He—he left.  He said he needed to go home,” Dr. Tripp replied with a frown.

“Oh God and you just let him go in his current state of mind?  Andy, can you stay here with him?  I need to go get Mark,” JT stated as he sat back down in his wheelchair and then left the room.

Down the Hall – The Emergency Room Waiting Area

Angela’s POV

It’s the start of the new year and it feels like it’s just an ordinary day.  For the start of the new year, too much crap has already happened.  Lord, please don’t let the rest of the year go like this day.  Sighing, I look around the area and see the woman that came in an hour ago with her husband.

I feel so sorry for the woman.  She’s been sitting here, all alone, probably wondering what’s happening with her husband.  Sighing, I shook my head and then looked around again.  Am I being watched or what?  Looking back over at the woman, I thought about how things would be if I was married right now.  If I was married and my husband was brought here, I would like to be back there, where he was, while the doctors worked on him.  I can sympathize with the way she feels right now, but I also know what’s going on behind those doors.  She’ll just have to wait until the doctors are done working with her husband and then she’ll possibly be able to see him.

Another hour has passed and I’m sitting here, placing paperwork back into the folders where I got it from.  It seems every time I try to organize these files, something happens to stop the progress on the organizing.  Stopping, I felt eyes on me as I looked around to see that damn ho Vagina, oops, I mean Valgina, standing in the doorway, watching me.  What the hell does the bitch want?  I just know she’s going to cause problems for us while she’s here.  I just wish JT could go ahead and fire her and the hospital finds someone else to take her place.  It’s not like she’s been here long to have tenure or anything, he’s her boss now, he should be able to get rid of her skanky ass.

Why in the hell is she watching me like that?  What in the hell does she want?  Better question, why in the hell did she come here?

“Hello Valgina, is there something I can help you with?”  I asked as she walked over to where I sat.

“Oh no Angela, I was just getting acquainted with where everything was.  There’s no need to worry your silly little head about me,” she replied with a smirk as she looked like the cat that stole the canary.

“Look ho, don’t come down here, starting any shit with me.  You haven’t started working here yet, so I suggest you step the fuck off and leave me the hell alone Vagina, oops, I meant Valgina,” I said, getting up from my chair.  “If you know what’s good for you, you’d take a hint and leave from ‘round here.”

“You fucking slut!  How dare you call me that!”  Valgina snapped, rushing over to where I was and smacking me in the face as I dropped the folders I just sorted.

“Oh hell naw!”  I yelled, lunging towards her as I pushed her up against the wall, punching and kicking at her.

“Get the fuck off of me you lesbian bitch!”  She screamed as I continued punching and kicking her as she tried to get away from me, but fell into the file storage room instead.

“You started this shit bitch!”  I snapped as I kept kicking her as she laid on the floor in the fetal position.

“Someone help me!  Help me please!”  She screamed, moving around, trying to block the kicks.

“Sorry ho, no one can help you now.  You should’ve thought about that shit when you walked into the work area, bothering someone, that wasn’t bothering you!”  I snapped, picking up a file box and slamming it down on top of her, knocking her ass out.  “I bet she’ll think twice before bothering me again.  What a way to start a new year.”

The Poole-Walden Estates – JT and Mark’s Bedroom


“Are you okay baby?”  I asked, walking into the bedroom to see Mark lying face down on the bed.

“Go away,” he replied, sniffling.  “Just go away, go back to the hospital or something.  I don’t care where you go, just leave me alone.”

“Talk to me baby.  What’s going on?”  I asked, sitting down next to him as I kissed the back of his head.

“Do you really want to know baby?”  He asked, turning to face me as he sat up on the bed as I slid a bit to hold him in my arms.

“Yes, I want to know Mark,” I replied, rubbing his back.  “Just tell me what’s going through your mind.”

“I’m mad baby.  I’m mad as hell right now!”  He exclaimed, scaring me a bit.  “If I hadn’t grounded him, he never would’ve snuck out of the house.  If it wasn’t for me, he never would’ve been raped.”

“That’s not true Mark,” I told him as he shook his head as he cried on my chest.  “You’re not responsible for what Jared and those punks did to him.  You didn’t tell any of them to do what they did to him.”

“No, I didn’t tell them, but Kai never would’ve left the house to be put in that situation, if I wasn’t so hard on him,” he said as he cried harder.  “It’s all my fucking fault!”

He continued crying for a few minutes and then he shot up, getting out of the bed as he rushed out of the room.  In his current state of mind, I don’t know what to think about what he might do.  I got up, grabbed my crutches and moved towards the door, trying to find out where he was headed.

“Mark please!  Baby stop!  Don’t leave this house!”  I called out as I heard the front door open and then slam shut.

As I got to the bottom of the stairs, I heard him cursing, a car starts and then a few seconds later, tires were screeching out of the driveway.  Hell, he’s gone now and I’m here all alone.  Sitting down on the stairs, I felt the tears sliding down my face.  What am I going to do now?  I have a child that’s been raped, Valgina fucking Williams has returned to my life, to haunt and cause problems for me and my friends and now my husband is stricken with guilt that isn’t his own.  What can I do to fix all of this?

Florida Hospital – The Emergency Room

“I don’t believe it girl, you knocked her ass out?”  Tamara, one of the ER nurses asked, looking at Angela with a shocked expression on her face and then shook her head.

“Girl, I had to beat that ho down,” Angel replied, punching her fist into her hand.  “You don’t believe me, that ho still in the file room, on the floor, sleeping that ass whooping off.”

“I know you’re not just going to leave her in there, are you?”  Tamara asked as Angela grabbed her car keys off the desk.

“I don’t see why not.  I’m going to leave her ass back there,” Angela stated as she grabbed her purse and then pulled her jacket on.

“What if someone finds her ass in there?”  Tamara asked.

“They just find her ass in there,” Angela replied, shrugging her shoulders with a smile on her face.  “The bitch got what she deserved.  That’s been a long time coming.  I’ve been waiting a few years to do that to her ass.”

“But you might get into trouble over this Angie,” Tamara said as she shook her head.

“I might, but right now, I really don’t care,” Angela said as Kevin walked up to the nurses’ station.

“Hello beautiful,” Kevin said, kissing Angela on her cheek, surprising her.

“Hello Kevin, what’re you doing here?”  Angela asked.

“I thought I would surprise you so we could catch an early supper,” Kevin replied, leaning against the counter.

“I—I need to go home and change then,” Angela stated as she looked down.  “It would’ve been nice if I’d known you were coming here to pick me up.”

“Are you okay Angela?  Is there something wrong?”  Kevin asked, looking at Angela strangely.  “I thought we hashed all of this last night on our date.  Are you having second thoughts again?”

“I’m fine Kevin, I just have a lot of things on my mind,” Angela replied, walking around the counter.  “I’m not going out with you, looking like this.  I’m going home to shower.”

“That’s fine then.  Would you like me to follow you to your place?”  Kevin asked, looking Angela in the face.

“Why don’t we just take my car, it would save a whole lot of trouble,” Angela replied as she and Kevin walked through the lobby together as she waved at Tamara.

The Solarium

Nick’s POV

For the last two hours, we’ve been sitting here, enjoying each other’s company.  It’s just been the two of us, a nice steady and calm conversation, just us talking about ourselves, our dreams, our desires.  There’s been no hatred, no sadness, no negative stuff, just nothing but happiness and love.  I swear, he’s the guy I want to be with, for the rest of my life.

“I don’t want any of this to end Justin,” I softly spoke, kissing his lips.

“I don’t want it to end either baby,” he replied, pulling me back down as we shared another kiss.

I sat there in his lap, kissing the man I had fallen head over heels in love with.  I don’t care what my mother says, I love him and I always will.  There’s nothing she or anyone else can say to change this feeling I have in my heart or my soul.  I love him with all of me.

“I—I wish we could make love,” I said, kissing his lips again.  “I want us to be one; I crave for us to be intimate together.”

“Baby, I…” he said and then went quiet on me.

“Is there something wrong baby?”  I asked, lifting his chin with my fingers as I saw the tears spilling down his face.  “Justin?”

“No baby, there’s nothing wrong,” he replied, looking away from me.

“Don’t lie to me baby.  I know there’s something wrong, you’re crying,” I told him, caressing his cheek.

“I’m sorry baby, I just…” he said, looking down again.

“You just what baby?”  I asked, getting up out of his lap as I knelt down in front of him.

“I—I love you Nicky, but I—I don’t think what you want is possible,” he replied, moving away from me.

“What’re you doing Justin?  Where are you going?”  I asked, getting up and walking behind him.

“Your mother was right Nicky.  You don’t need to be with a cripple like me,” he said, opening the door and then rolling out of the room.

“Justin, stop!”  I screamed for him to stop, but he kept on going.  “Please Justin, please don’t leave me here.  Come back!”

An Hour Later – The El Valentera Restaurant

“Are you enjoying your meal Angela?”  Kevin asked, looking across the table at Angela.  “You’ve hardly touched your meal.”

“I’m sorry Kevin, I’m just not hungry right now,” Angela replied, pushing her dish out of the way.  “I guess I have some things on my mind.”

“Are you okay Angela?  You look like your best friend died, came back to life and then died again.  Do you care to talk about what’s on your mind?  You know I can return the favor,” Kevin stated as Valgina Williams walked up to their table.

“Well well wll, look what we have here.  If it isn’t the bitch formerly known as Angela Sebastian,” Valgina said, putting her hands on her hips.  “Excuse me man, what are you doing with a loser like her?”

“Excuse me?  Who in the hell are you calling a loser bitch?”  Angela asked, standing up from the table as she pointed her finger in Valgina’s face.

“I’m calling you a loser, you bitch!”  Valgina screamed, drawing attention to herself and Angela.

“Oh yeah ho, you’re just cruising for another beat down!”  Angela snapped, pushing Valgina backwards.

“Angela honey, please stop this,” Kevin said as he stepped in between Angela and Valgina and then stopped when he turned and looked at Valgina and then laughed. “Oh, you were joking right?  Her name really isn’t Vagina, is it?”

“That’s Valgina.  Mister, you must be out of your damn mind, being with a tramp like her.  If you want a real woman, get with me and I’ll show you a real good time,” Valgina stated as she pushed Angela, moving away from the table.

“I so don’t think so lady, I prefer Angela,” Kevin replied as he turned his back to Valgina as he grabbed Angela’s hand and then kissed the top of it.  “Angela, why don’t we go someplace else, it seems the atmosphere and scenery is terrible now.”

“Okay by me Kevin, I have a nicer place in mind, where we can go to get away from this madness,” Angela stated as the two of them made their way to the checkout, paid and then left the restaurant as Valgina tripped over her own feet, falling into the salad bar as she tried to watch Kevin and Angela walk out.

“Damn it!”  Valgina screeched as she jumped up, brushing lettuce from her blouse and cheese sauce from her face as she followed Angela and Kevin with her eyes as they walked down the street as she got outside.  “You might have gotten the upper hand on me earlier tonight at the hospital, but I’m going to whoop your ass bitch!”

“Bring that shit on bitch!”  Angela exclaimed as some people on the street watched.

“I’m not in a small area now.  I’m going to ram my foot up your ass, right after I ram this down your fucking throat!”  Valgina screamed, swinging her purse at Angela.

“Bring it baby, bring that shit!”  Angela hollered, grabbing Valgina’s arm in mid-jump as she kneed her in the stomach, punched her in the face and then elbowed her in the back, sending her down to the ground hard.

“Stop this Angela, you’re going to get into trouble for this,” Kevin stated, grabbing Angela’s hand as he dragged her down the street, heading towards her car.

The Poole-Walden Estates


The time has surely flown by and I’m still sitting here at the bottom of the stairs.  The doorbell sounding, I sighed as I got up from the spot I had brooding in and walked over to the door, almost falling down, being that I didn’t pick up my crutches.  Opening the door, I saw someone I didn’t expect to see, standing there, looking back at me.

“Dean, what’re you doing here?”  I asked, moving back so the man could come in.

“Hi JT, how are you doing?”  He asked, leaning in close to hug me and then he kissed my cheek.

“I’m not so good at the moment,” I replied, walking into the family room.  “Why are you here Dean?”

“What?  I can’t come visit you when I want to?”  He asked, sitting down on the sofa.  “Where are Kai and that man you call your husband?”

“Kai’s in the hospital and I don’t know where Mark is,” I replied as Dean slid over to me, wrapping me in his arms, holding me tight.

“What happened to Kai?  Why is he in the hospital?”  He asked, looking me in the face.

“Some punks from his school beat him up and then raped him,” I replied, explaining to him about everything that had happened the previous day.

“Oh my God JT, why—why didn’t you call me and tell me what was going on?”  He asked, rubbing my back.

“Why would I call you Dean?” I asked as he looked at me with a hurt expression on his face.

“We may not be together anymore, but I still consider you and Kai a part of my family,” he replied just as his cell phone rang.  “Hold on, hello?  No, hell no, do whatever you fucking want to, I told you I was gone, so I’m gone damn it!”

“What was that all about?”  I asked, watching him.

“My agent,” he replied, getting up.

“Don’t tell me you fired another one, how many is that now?”  I asked.

“He makes number ten,” he replied, walking over to the television.  “I just can’t find a good modelling agent that I can trust JT.”

“I see,” I said as he sat back down across from me.

“So, have you eaten yet?”  He asked, grabbing my hand, holding it in his own.

“No, I can’t eat right now.  I’m too upset to eat anything.  I need Mark,” I replied, pulling my hand away from him.

“Why are you acting this way JT?”  He asked, grabbing my hand and pulling me up as he tried to hug me.

“Are you kidding me, it’s been a long time Dean.  What do you expect here, I moved on,” I told him.

“I—I know you did, but I—I didn’t,” he replied as the front door opened as Mark walked in.

“What the hell is this?  What’s going on here?”  Mark asked, walking into the family room to see us standing there.  “I walk out of the damn house to get some air for a bit and come back and you’ve got your ex in the house, doing only God knows what!”

“It’s not what you think,” I said, walking over to him as he shook his head and then walked away.  “Mark, Mark come back here!”

“Stay in there with lover boy, I don’t’ want to fucking see you.  How could you do this to me?”  Mark asked, stomping up the stairs.

“I—I didn’t do anything,” I said from the bottom of the stairs.  “Fine, believe what you fucking want to damn it!”

“I will!”  He screamed, slamming a door.

To Be Continued…

If I Ain’t Got You – Chapter 15

Chapter 15 — Not Exactly The New Year

Dec 31, 2002 – Orlando, FL – Florida Hospital – The Emergency Room’s Rape Trauma Unit – Kasai’s Room

“Calm down baby, he’s going to be okay,” Mark spoke, hugging JT.

“I can’t calm down Mark.  My baby has been violated and you’re telling me to calm down!”  JT snapped, pushing Mark away from him.  “I’m not going to calm down until I find the men that did that to him!”

“Baby no, let the police handle that.  You need to stay right here with me, so we can make sure that our boy is okay,” Mark said, kissing JT on his forehead as he cried.

“I knew I recognized that voice.  Well, if it isn’t the faggot better known as John Poole,” Mark and JT heard as they turned around to see a light-skinned black woman standing in the doorway to Kasai’s room.

“Baby, who in the hell is that?”  Mark asked, turning to look at the woman.

“I don’t need this crap right now.  Valgina, I’m in no damn mood to deal with you or your fucked up crap, so take it elsewhere,” JT stated, turning away from the woman as he hugged Mark again.

“This is just a touching scene.  Why are you down here, instead of working in your office?”  The woman asked, walking further into the room.

“Look lady, can’t you see that we’re in the middle of a private family moment here?  Please leave,” Mark said as he glared at her.

“Who in the hell are you?  I know you’re not his boy-toy Steve,” the woman stated as she got up in Mark’s face.

“Look woman and I say that very loosely, I don’t know you and you sure as hell don’t know me.  I think you should just walk out of here, before you bite off more than you can actually chew,” Mark stated, pointing his finger at her.

“Excuse me, you’re not the boss of me,” the woman stated, waving her hand dismissively in Mark’s face.

“No he’s not, but I am,” JT stated, turning around again as he wiped at his eyes.

“Yeah, like you have the guts to do anything to me.  You were a punk ass bitch in high school and you’re probably a punk ass bitch now,” the woman stated with a smirk on her face.

“I have more than guts right now Valgina.  I’m not a child anymore, so get the fuck out of here!”  JT snapped, pointing his finger at the door.

“I…” The woman stated before Mark interrupted her.

“You heard what my husband said.  Get the hell out of here, before you write a check that your ass can’t cash.  Get to steppin’, you skanky body part.  What kind of name is Valgina anyway?  It sounds like your parents wanted to name your skanky ass ‘pussy’, but were too afraid you would get used by a lot of pricks,” Mark stated as he waved his hand at her as he grabbed his sides, laughing at the expression on her face as she turned and then stomped away out of the room.

“Thanks baby,” JT stated, kissing Mark on the cheek.  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen that woman leave a room that fast before in my whole entire life.”

“Serves the ho right for coming in here.  Our son isn’t doing okay and she was only causing us more stress,” Mark said as he sat down in the chair next to Kasai’s bed and then pulled JT into his lap.

“I just wish there was a way to take all of this pain away from him,” JT said as he sighed.  “No one should ever be raped. We could’ve done something to prevent this.  Something we could’ve done to keep him from being hurt like this.”

“Baby, things happen.  We can’t control what happens in his life all the time,” Mark said with a frown as he hugged JT.  “I grounded him to keep him from that sort of trouble, but he snuck out of the house to go have fun instead.  I’m not saying that this is his fault, but if he would’ve just stayed home, like I told him to, he probably wouldn’t be here right now.”

“Baby…” JT said as Mark cut him off.

“I’m telling the truth and you know I am.  If he would’ve just stayed home, he wouldn’t be here right now,” Mark said as JT hugged him.

“I know, I just don’t know what to think right now,” JT said as he wiped at his eyes again.  “Too much shit happening, all at once.”

“Things are going to be okay baby, trust me,” Mark said as he kissed JT on his forehead as Kasai’s hand moved.

“Come on son, wake up, we miss you.  I know I was rough on you, but I love you buddy.  Come on back to us.  We miss you very, very much,” Mark said as the tears streamed down his face.

“Come on Kai, you can do it buddy.  Daddy’s right here, waiting for ya,” JT said as the tears streamed down his face.  “Please son, wake up for me.  Come on, I know you can do it.”

Late Evening – The Hospital’s Prison Ward

“Evening Jack, what’s with the new guy down the hall?”  A doctor asked, walking through the double doors that led into the ward.  “What’s the deal with him?”

“He’s been comatose like that, since he was brought into the infirmary,” the police office replied as the doctor walked over to a counter and picked up a chart.

“What happened to him?”  Eric Jones, the prison ward doctor asked, flipping through some pages on the chart.

“He was raped by another inmate in his cell.  The other inmate beat him pretty badly before any of the officers got to him.  He lost a lot of blood and…” The police officer rambled on as the doctor interrupted him.

“What?  Can you run all of that by me again?”  Dr. Jones said, looking at the officer strangely.

“He lost a lot of blood.  When we got to him, he was already unconscious,” the officer stated as the doctor shook his head.

“And you guys are just now bringing him here to the hospital?  What kind of jail are you people running over there?”  Dr. Jones asked, looking at the officer like he was crazy.

“Look man, I followed proper protocol and procedure first.  The doctors at the jail couldn’t figure out why he was still unconscious and it came down from the chief to go ahead and transfer him here to you guys,” the officer stated as he signed some papers on the clipboard and then handed them to the doctor.  “He’s your responsibility now.  Someone will be back later on to record his condition and advise the court of his condition.”

“What’s he in for?”  Dr. Jones asked.

“He raped someone in this very hospital,” the officer stated.  “Again, he’s your responsibility now.”

“Oh, that’s just preachy,” Dr. Jones stated as he sighed and then pressed the speakerphone button as the officer walked through the double doors and then entered a code into the security panel as a different set of doors opened to the rest of the hospital.

“What’s up Eric, what do you have?”  Dr. Tripp’s voice rattled through the speaker of the phone.

“Hi Andrew, I have a… Hold on a sec, let me look… Let’s see here, I have a Brian T. Lang up here.  He needs to be added to the admissions log,” Dr. Jones stated as he read through the rest of the chart.

“The name sounds familiar.  That’s it, he’s in a band.  Dang, we have a lot of celebrities in this hospital,” Dr. Tripp stated.  “Okay, just e-mail me his information or send the chart down and I’ll add him to the log.”

“I’ll do that,” Dr. Jones stated as he shook his head.  “Oh yeah, he’s a rape victim.  I think Danielle or JT might need to talk to him, once he wakes up.”

“Sorry guy, Danielle doesn’t work here anymore, she resigned,” Dr. Tripp stated.

“Say what?  Damn, she was a hot one.  I guess I won’t get the chance to go out with her now,” Dr. Jones stated as he sighed.

“Nope my friend, you won’t get a chance to do that.  She left to move out to California.  She’s going to marry her long-time sweetheart,” Dr. Tripp stated as Dr. Jones shook his head.

“Well that’s a double damn.  I guess I have to find another chick to score with.  She was totally hot,” Dr. Jones said as he sighed and then rubbed his crotch.  “So, who’s taking her place?”

“Some woman named Valgina Wililams,” Dr. Tripp stated as Dr. Jones looked at the phone, shook his head and then cracked a smile.

“Did you say vagina man?”  Dr. Jones asked, putting the clipboard down.

“No, I said Valgina,” Dr. Tripp replied, laughing.  “Val-gina, get it, Valgina Williams.”

“Damn man, that’s funny as hell.  You make it sound like we’ll have a big ass pussy, working here in the hospital,” Dr. Jones said as he shook his head, laughed again and then stopped when he noticed Brian moving around on his bed.  “Look Andrew, I have to go.  It seems Mr. Lang has awakened.”

“Okay man, keep me updated with information and don’t forget to send me that chart,” Dr. Tripp stated as the speaker made some clicking noises and then it turned off.

“Yeah yeah, it’s one hassle after another one.  I hope this Valgina woman is a looker like Danielle, if so, I’ll have my scorecard filled really soon,” Dr. Jones said as he turned his attention to Brian.

Down in Nick’s Hopital Room

“Where have you been Nick?”  Janet asked, standing at the window in Nick’s room as Steve and Nick walked into the room.

“I was in a counseling session with JT and Steve,” Nick answered, sitting down on his bed.

“You’ve been gone most of the morning and afternoon.  I didn’t know you had a session that early.  No one told me about it,” Janet stated as Aaron walked into the room.

“Dang mom, I told you about his session earlier when you were on the phone,” Aaron stated as he sat down on the bed next to Nick and then hugged him.  “Hey bro, how are you holding up?”

“I’m doing good, I think,” Nick replied, ruffling Aaron’s hair.

“Hey hey, watch the hair,” Aaron said as he laughed.

“Oh whatever, it’s just your hair.  I’m your big brother, I have a right to mess it up if I want to,” Nick said as he laughed as the doctor walked into the room.

Downstairs – The Emergency Room – The Nurses’ Station

“Where are you going?  It’s not time for you to get off yet,” Angela said, walking behind the desk as she watched Steve clock out.

“Look Angie, I’m not in the mood right now.  I just ran into that bitch Valgina and… and I’m going home for the rest of my shift,” Steve stated as the tears streamed down his face.

“What—what did she say Steve?”  Angela asked.

“She said enough to make me want to quit this bitch,” Steve said, shaking his head as he wiped at his eyes.  “I think—I think I need a drink.”

“No Steve, you don’t need a drink.  Just go home and chill out.  I’ll come over and cheek on you later on,” Angela stated as she hugged him.  “Don’t let Valgina get you down.  I don’t think she’s going to be around here long.”

“I hope she isn’t, I don’t know how long I can last if she is,” Steve stated as he walked past Angela, heading out the door as Kevin walked in with Joshua following close behind him.

“Oh, what in the hell is this?  He’s with that guy again,” Angela said to herself.  “I think something’s going on between those two.”

“Hello Angela,” Kevin spoke, walking up to the counter as Angela glared at him and then looked back down at the chart she was reading.

“What is it that you want Kevin?”  Angela sarcastically asked.

“I—I wanted to see how you were doing and to find out whether or not you were free for dinner tonight.  Can we go on that dinner date we had scheduled for the other night?”  Kevin asked.

“Why would I go to dinner with you Kevin?  Can you answer me that?”  Angela asked.

“Because…” Kevin said and then stopped speaking.

“Because what Kevin?”  Angela asked, looking back up at him as she flipped a page in the chart.

“Because I like you and I want to go out with you,” Kevin replied in a soft voice.

“You can’t like me, it seems you spend all of your time with that man over there,” Angela said as she pointed at Joshua.  “Are you seeing that guy there?”

“Ah…” Kevin stuttered.

“Are you?  If you are, I have no use for a gay man Kevin.  I’m not the type of woman that likes to be strung along, around someone’s finger, with my emotions being played with,” Angela stated as she side-eyed Kevin.

“Well I ah…” Kevin stammered.

“Just be quiet Kevin.  I already have my answer,” Angela stated, picking up the chart and walking away from the counter.

“Wait a minute Angela, give me a chance here,” Kevin called out, shaking his head as he moved away from the counter.

“Why should I give you a chance Kevin?  It’s obvious you’re not the man for me,” Angela said as she shook her head.  “Just tell me the truth Kevin, be honest with me, be honest with yourself.”

“I like you Angela, I really do.  The truth is, I was confused once and I fooled around with Josh in the past, but I don’t want him, I want a woman in my life,” Kevin stated as he reached for Angela’s hand and she let him take it.

“You were confused?  If you don’t want him, then why is he still around you?”  Angela asked, looking over Kevin’s shoulder to see that Joshua was still standing around.

“He—he’s trying to convince me that he’s what I want and need, but I think differently about that,” Kevin said as he shook his head.

“I’ll go out to dinner with you, but I have to think about this, so don’t expect anything else to happen besides dinner,” Angela stated.

“That’s cool with me.  All I ask for is a chance to show you me,” Kevin stated as he kissed Angela’s hand.

“Fine, but if you screw up or I catch you with him again, this is over Kevin,” Angela stated as she pointed her finger at him, poking him in the chest.  “There will be no ifs, ands or buts about it Kevin, completely over.  You will be out of my life, faster than marijuana in the hands of a pothead.”

“I understand Angela.  I’m going to do everything in my power to do right by you,” Kevin said with a smile.

“You do that,” Angela stated as Kevin kissed her hand again.  “I’ll see you around seven.”

“I’ll be here,” Kevin said as he looked at his watch.

“Good,” Angela said as she smiled and then walked off.

Late Evening – Downtown Orlando – A Trendy Night Club

“Hey man, what can I get for you?”  The bartender asked as Alex McCall walked over to the bar and then took a seat.

“Yeah man, let me get a shot of tequila… better yet, just bring me the whole damn bottle with a glass,” Alex said as the bartender looked at him strangely, did as he asked and then placed the bottle on the counter in front of him.  “Thanks.”

“Welcome,” the bartender replied as Alex placed some money on the counter, grabbed the bottle and glass and then walked away.

“Hey, watch where you’re going man,” Steve spoke up as Alex bumped into him.

“No, you watch where the fuck you’re going guy,” Alex said as he pushed Steve backwards.  “You bumped into me retard.”

“No jerk, I didn’t bump into you, you bumped into me!”  Steve snapped, grabbing Alex by the collar of his shirt and pushing him up against a table as the bartender and a bouncer rushed over to the two of them.

“You two, break it up or I’ll toss you both out of here on your asses,” the bartender stated, pushing both men apart.

“He started it,” Steve whined, trying to get a hold of Alex again.

“I don’t care who started it, it ends right now, got it!”  The bartender snapped, looking between both men.  “If I hear anything else from either of you, your asses will be tossed out on the street like trash, you feel me?”

“Fine,” Steve replied, calming down as he turned away from the bartender.

“Yeah fine, I got it,” Alex said as the bartender pointed his finger at both men and then walked away with the bouncer.

“I—I know you.  You were at the hospital this morning.  I saw you leaving a patient’s room,” Steve said, looking at Alex closely.

“Yeah, so what,” Alex said as he waved his hand at Steve dismissively.

“Look buddy, I don’t know what your…” Steve said as Alex cut him off.

“I—I’m sorry dude; I’m having a really bad day.  I didn’t mean to take it out on you,” Alex said, looking down as he sighed.

“It’s okay, we both seem to be having one of those,” Steve said, walking over to a table and then sitting down.  “Would you like to join me?”

“Sure, as long as you let me buy you a drink,” Alex said as he looked at Steve with a smile on his face.

“That’s a deal,” Steve replied, smiling at Alex.

“What would you like?”  Alex asked as he placed his bottle of tequila on the table.

“Whatever you’re having, is totally fine with me,” Steve replied, smiling again.

“As you can see, I have this bottle of tequila,” Alex said, tapping the bottle and then winking his eye at Steve.

“You must be really having a bad day, to have the whole bottle,” Steve said with a frown.

“It seems like this whole day has been one big mess,” Alex said with a frown on his face.  “What got you down, on this hectic, but lovely last day of the year and all?”

“Someone from my past returned and that’s a very bad thing,” Steve replied as he looked down and then sighed.

“Yeah, I know how that goes,” Alex replied as he shook his head.  “I kept a very bad secret from my friends and it ended up causing one of them a great deal of pain.  If I had told my friends about what was going on, I wouldn’t be having such a bad day right now.”

“Does this have anything to do with Mr. Canton?”  Steve asked.

“Mr. Canton?  Oh, you mean Nick.  Yeah, it involves him,” Alex replied as he poured another glass full of the liquid and knocked it back as Steve’s eyes widened.

“Does your secret have anything to do with the person responsible for him trying to hurt himself?”  Steve asked.

“I—I guess so,” Alex replied, sighing as he knocked another glass full back.

“Are—are you the person responsible for what happened?”  Steve asked, watching Alex closely.

“No!”  Alex snapped, covering his mouth quickly as he looked over his shoulder to see if the bartender or the bouncer heard him.  “I’m not the person responsible for that, but I could’ve prevented it… I could’ve stopped him before it got to…”

“How so?  How do you figure into all of that?”  Steve asked, still watching Alex closely.

“It’s a long story,” Alex replied, looking down at the table.

“Well I have nothing but time this evening,” Steve said, pouring himself a glass of the liquid pacifier.

“Well, it all started…” Alex started, telling Steve how he and the other members of the Fifth Avenue Boys met and how Nick ended up in the position he’s currently in.

“I understand your position here Alex, but he’s your friend.  You should’ve told the others what was going on.  I know you said you didn’t want to get involved in their relationship, but I would want JT, Mark or Angie to tell someone if my boyfriend was hurting me,” Steve said as he looked down.  “Not that I would have a boyfriend like that… Regardless, I wouldn’t allow myself to get into that kind of relationship.”

“So, you’re gay too?”  Alex said, smiling weakly as he looked over the rim of his glasses at Steve.

“Ah yeah, I’m gay too,” Steve replied, watching Alex for any signs of a reaction and then he looked down at his hands.

“That’s cool,” Alex responded as he looked over at Steve.  “We’ve been sitting here for a while now.  How about we go someplace else and chill out and have something to eat?”

“That sounds good to me,” Steve said as he and Alex got up from the table and then walked out of the bar.

A Few Hours Previously – Florida Hospital – Justin’s Hospital Room

“I love him Momma, there’s nothing more to say about it,” Justin said, shaking his head.

“I know you do son, but his mother doesn’t want you two being together,” Lynn stated, rubbing Justin’s back as he cried.

“If I can’t have him in my life, then I wish I were dead,” Justin declared, sniffling as Lynn shook her head.

“No son, don’t talk like that,” Lynn said as Jamie, Christina and Joey walked into the room.

“What’s poppin’ around here?”  Christina asked, walking over to Justin and then sitting down in his lap.

“That damn Janet Canton is taking Nick away from me,” Justin replied as Christina looked at him strangely and then up at Lynn.

“What?  Why is she doing a thing like that?”  Christina asked as Jamie looked at Lynn also.

“She doesn’t want her son being with me because I’m a fucking cripple,” Justin replied.

“We’ve told you over and over again to not talk like that.  You’re not a cripple.  You’re just walking challenged right now,” Christina stated, getting up out of Justin’s lap as she got on her knees in front of him.  “Don’t let Janet Canton make decisions for you or Nick.  If you two have feelings for each other, then you should do what you can to not let her change those feelings.  Tell Nick, tell him how much you care for him Justin.”

“He—he knows how much I care for him already Chrissy.  It’s not him, it’s his damn mother that doesn’t care if I care about him or not.  She’s determined to keep us apart,” Justin stated as Lynn shook her head and then took his hand.

“What brought all of this up?”  Jamie asked, looking at Justin and then back to Lynn.

“He’s scared because Nick’s going to be released from here tomorrow.  Once he leaves here, he and Justin won’t be able to be together.  Janet has already told the doctor that she’s going to take him back to Tampa and get him some help there,” Lynn explained to the others in the room.

“Apparently, she doesn’t know it’s not wise to interfere in the lives of other people,” Joey stated as he folded his arms across his chest and then shook his head.  “She’s a real bad bitch.”

“Watch your mouth young man,” Lynn spoke, chastising Joey as she shook her head.

“Come on, we’re talking about Janet Canton here.  You know, the same woman that plotted and schemed to get her husband killed and tried to steal money from her other son.  Janet’s a heartless woman.  She can be downright ruthless,” Jamie stated as he shook his head.

“She’s a heartless woman, but we have to do something to keep her from taking Nick from me,” Justin said as the tears streamed down his face.  “Please guys; please don’t let her take Nick away from me.  I can’t bear it if he’s not here with me.”

“I—I’ll see what I can find out, but if the doctor is releasing him, then there’s really nothing more that can be done, unless Nick himself, chooses not to go with her,” Lynn stated with a frown.

“Where’s the JT guy?  I haven’t seen him since you left this morning,” Jamie stated as he looked back at Justin.

“Something happened to his son, so he’s around here somewhere,” Justin replied, shrugging his shoulders.

To Be Continued…

If I Ain’t Got You – Chapter 13

Chapter 13 — A Friendly Gathering

Dec 31, 2002 – Orlando, FL – Florida Hospital – Angela’s Nurses’ Station

“She’s a horrible, horrible person,” Steve said as the tears streamed down his face.  “I was so humiliated that day, I…”

“Shhh Steve, calm down honey.  That was a long time ago.  Get a grip man,” Angela said as she tried to calm Steve down.

“Get a grip?  She hurt you, just as bad as she hurt us Angie,” Steve said as the memories flooded back in Angela’s mind of what Valgina had done to her.


“Charlie, what in the hell is going on here?”  Angela asked, walking over to a car to see her boyfriend and Valgina sitting there, wrapped up in each other’s arms, kissing.

“What does it look like bitch?”  Valgina asked, throwing her drink through the window, the liquid hitting Angela in the face.

“What the hell!”  Angela screamed, yanking the driver’s side car door open and pulling Charlie out of the car first and then grabbing for Valgina as Charlie struggled to hold her back.

“Angela stop, what’s the use in you causing a scene.  We’re over,” Charlie said as he pushed Angela backwards.  “I don’t have time for a silly bitch like you.”

“What!  I thought you loved me,” Angela said, sitting down on the bench near the car as she cried.

“You thought I loved you?  Hell, I didn’t love you.  Bitch, you were just a quick piece of ass.  Take your silly ass on, no one wants you here,” Charlie said as he got back into his car and then drove down to the stop sign as Valgina held her head out the window.

“Ha ha, you silly ass bitch, I told you I could pull your man,” Valgina stated as she shot Angela the bird as the car continued travelling from her as she continued to cry on the bench.

“Hey girl, it’s going to be okay,” Angela heard as she turned around to see a guy from school.

“Who—who are you?”  Angela asked, looking at the young man strangely.

“I’m John, but you probably know me as JT the fag,” JT stated as he sat down next to her on the bench.

End Flashback

“You’re right, she hurt all of us, but we can’t let this one person destroy our lives around here,” Angela said, shaking her head.  “You just wait until I see that Danielle though; I’m going to kick her ass three ways from Sunday.”

“Be my guest.  If she wasn’t in Larry’s office, I’d probably be doing that right now,” JT stated as he sighed and then got up as his and Steve’s pagers went off at the same time.

“What’s up guys?”  Angela asked, looking at both men.

“It’s Justin, come on, let’s go,” JT said as he sighed. “Oh well, New Year’s Eve is bombed already.”

Nick’s Hospital Room

“Where’s Nick?”  Kevin asked as he and Alex walked into Nick’s room.

“He’s not here, you might try looking for him up in Justin Tanner’s room,” Aaron replied as he came out of the bathroom, burped and then stretched his arms over his head.

“Hey there little man, how have you been?”  Alex asked, hugging Aaron.

“I’m cool.  So, I guess you’re here for Brian’s trial,” Aaron stated with a frown.

“Yeah, but it’s not what you think.  I’m here to support Nick, not Brian,” Alex replied as the tears welled up in his eyes.  “I should’ve done that a long time ago, but it’s too late now.”

“What’s too late?”  Kevin asked, looking over at Alex.

“It’s too late to stop Brian from hurting Nick,” Alex said as he sat down in a nearby chair.

“What do you mean, stop Brian from hurting Nick?”  Kevin asked, standing in front of Alex with an angry look on his face.

“I—I knew about some of the things he had been doing to him,” Alex answered, looking down.

“What kinds of things?”  Aaron and Kevin asked in unison.

“I—I knew about Brian’s sexual and physical abuse of Nick,” Alex replied, taking in a breath as his tears came out full force.

“What!  You knew something was going on and you didn’t say anything!”  Aaron snapped, lunging for Alex as Kevin grabbed him quickly, holding him back.

“Yes, but at the same time, I didn’t want to get involved, mainly since Nick didn’t complain about it,” Alex said as he looked down.  “I—I thought he was into all the things he and Brian did together.  I—I thought he was into all the S and M stuff or something.”

“What!”  Kevin snapped, shaking his head.

“Could there have been a reason for why he didn’t complain?  Could it be that Brian had him strung out on drugs and mesmerized all the damn time?”  Aaron asked, shaking his head.  “I thought Nick was your friend.  How could you allow those things to happen and not tell anyone else?”

“I just told you.  Since Nick wasn’t complaining about how Brian treated him, I didn’t want to get involved,” Alex said as he wiped at his eyes.

“How—how long have you known about this Alex?”  Kevin asked, glaring at Alex.

“Since—since we came back from Europe,” Alex replied as Kevin and Aaron gasped.

“What!”  Kevin exclaimed as Aaron had to push him backwards to stop him from grabbing at Alex.  “All that fucking time and this has been going on and none of us knew about any of it!”

“Wait a minute.  Are you saying that Brian and Nick were together, when you guys started out as a band?”  Aaron asked, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Not—not exactly,” Alex replied.

“Then tell me how exactly,” Aaron said as he got up in Alex’s face.

“Well… Ah… The—the last couple of weeks before we were scheduled to come back home, Nick started acting strange.  From that point on, I started keeping an eye on him.  One day, after we got back from dinner, I saw him and Brian go into a room at the arena.  Suspicious, I walked down to the door and listened.  After a couple of minutes, I heard what sounded like a slap and then I heard Brian yell at Nick for looking at other men,” Alex explained as he looked down.  “As I continued listening, Brian ranted and raved about Nick keeping his eyes to himself and then I heard the sound again that sounded like a slap.  After that, Nick said he was sorry and I thought it was all over until I heard Nick cry out.  When I peeked into the room, he and Brian were having sex, rather roughly.  Brian had him pinned against the wall with his hand over his mouth.”

“Oh my God, he was raping Nick all that time,” Kevin said as he looked away as the tears streamed down his face.  “What kind of friend am I?  I—I never saw any signs of this going on.”

“They—they didn’t want you to see any signs,” Alex replied.

“So, tell me this Alex.  All the bruises that Nick just happened to have on his body, those weren’t from him falling or hurting himself during dance practice, was it?”  Kevin asked.

“No, it was all Brian,” Alex replied.

“Fuck this!  He better hope the court hinds his ass guilty and he goes to prison or I’m going to hurt him myself,” Aaron said as he shook his head.  “You guys are supposed to be his friends!  How—how could to be around him all the time and not know that something like that was happening to him?  I—I don’t believe this!”

“I—I’m sorry Aaron,” Alex said with a frown.  “I—I just…”

“You didn’t want to fucking get involved.  You said that already Alex.  Do you have any other damn excuses?”  Aaron asked, walking over to Alex and then slapping him across the face.  “You’re just as guilty as Brian!”

“Aaron stop, don’t hit him again,” Kevin said as he held Aaron in his arms as he cried.  “I know you’re hurt and upset, but it’s not Alex’s fault that Nick got hurt, it’s Brian’s fault.”

“No, it’s all of your faults!”  Aaron screamed out as more tears fell from his eyes.  “You all should’ve known something was going on with him… with them!”

“It’s hard to tell when something’s wrong with someone, when they hide it so well,” Kevin said as he shook his head.

“You still should’ve told them and us what was going on Alex.  You probably kept that info to yourself because you thought it would break up the damn band,” Aaron said as he pointed his finger in Alex’s face.  “Fuck the Fifth Avenue Boys!”

“That’s not true Aaron,” Alex responded as he shook his head and then looked down.

“Why are you here now Alex?”  Aaron asked, glaring at Alex.  “You have nothing to lose now that you guys aren’t together anymore.”

“Aaron please,” Alex said as more tears fell from his eyes.

“Why don’t you just fucking leave here!  I don’t think you need to be here,” Aaron said as he sniffled and then turned his back to Alex as he continued crying.

“Please Aaron,” Alex said as Aaron raised his hand, interrupting him.

“Just go Alex, I—I don’t want to see or hear from you ever again,” Aaron said as he walked to a corner of the room and wiped at his eyes again.

“I—I guess I’ll go then,” Alex said as he walked out of the room.

“He—he needs to be on trial with Brian,” Aaron stated as he shook his head.  “All of you do.”

The Gym

“Come on Justin, you’ve been quiet all morning.  What’s wrong with you man?”  Steve asked, rubbing Justin’s legs.

“Nothing,” Justin replied with a frown.

“Come on man, I know something’s bothering you.  You were all smiles last night when I left you and now you look like someone stole your cute little puppy,” Steve said, watching Justin’s face.

“I said nothing alright!”  Justin snapped, sighing as he turned his head, looking away from Steve.

“I—I’m sorry Justin,” Steve said with a hurt look on his face.

“No, I’m sorry Steve.  I—I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that,” Justin spoke, reaching out to Steve and hugging him.  “Will you please forgive me; it’s not your fault that Janet Canton is a bitch.”

“Okay, what happened?”  Steve asked, coming to the realization who Justin was talking about.

“She—she doesn’t want Nick being my boyfriend,” Justin replied, sighing.  “She doesn’t want him seeing me.”

“Why not?”  Steve asked, watching Justin.  “What does she have to do with you and him dating?”

“She—she doesn’t want him with me because I’m a cripple.  She doesn’t want me around him.  She claims us being together is unhealthy for Nick,” Justin stated with a frown as he shook his head.

“I thought I told you not to use that word again,” JT said, walking into the room with Mark and Kasai.

“Well hello boss… Hey, what are you doing here little man?  It’s a little bit early for school to be out,” Steve said, looking over at JT and then over at Kasai.

“I had to go pick him up from school, he was in a fight today,” JT stated as he walked over to the mat and then sat down next to Justin.  “He wanted to leave school so quickly, he couldn’t wait for the New Year’s break.”

“Oh man, you were in a fight?  What happened?”  Justin asked, rolling around on the mat with Steve so he could see Kasai.

“Some kids at school were picking on me,” Kasai replied as he looked down.

“Go on,” Mark said, tapping Kasai on his shoulder.

“So, I decided to beat on each of them,” Kasai added as he looked up at Mark.

“And…” Mark said, nudging Kasai.

“And I threatened to kill everyone,” Kasai said as Steve’s eyes widened as he shook his head.

“Whoa lil man, that’s enough to get you kicked out of school,” Steve said, looking at JT and then at Mark strangely.  “Did you get kicked out of school?”

“Oh no, he didn’t get kicked out of school, but he’s suspended for a few days, after school starts again,” JT stated with a frown.

“Aww man, see what happens when you don’t think things through,” Steve said, turning his attention back to Justin.

“They didn’t have any business bothering me.  I wasn’t bothering them and it seems no one else was trying to stop them,” Kasai stated as he sat in a chair close to the door.

“Come on Kasai, you know better than that.  Because people bother you, you don’t take that and turn around and use violence to solve the problem,” Steve stated as he shook his head again.

“Violence solves a whole lot of fucking problems,” Kasai said as he realized what he just said as his eyes widened.  “Oops.”

“What did you just say Kasai Martin Poole?”  JT asked, getting up from where he sat and then walked over to where Kasai was.

“I—I didn’t say anything Daddy,” Kasai replied with a scared look on his face.

“Oh yes you did.  How long have you been using that kind of language?”  JT asked, looking at Kasai with a stern look on his face.

“I—I…” Kasai stuttered out as JT shook his head and then waved his hand dismissively.

“Never mind, I don’t even wanna know,” JT said as he turned his back to Kasai.  “Mark hone, deal with him.”

“Daddy,” Kasai said as his eyes widened in fear.

“I hate to do this Kai, but you’re grounded for the next two weeks,” Mark stated as he looked over at JT.  “During that time, you won’t be watching TV, playing video games, no fun, just staying in your room.  You will only leave your room to eat and go to the bathroom, nothing more than that.”

“Daddy… please,” Kasai whined, looking between Mark and JT with an agitated look on his face.

“You heard what your father said,” JT said, waving his hand again as he turned his attention back to Justin and Steve.

“Okay, fine then,” Kasai said with a sigh.

“Mark honey, can you enforce your punishment right now?  I don’t want to see that boy,” JT said as he shook his head again.

“Honey…” Mark said as JT looked over at him.  “I guess I can.  Are we still having lunch together today?”

“Yeah we are.  Are you going to cook or should I bring food with me?”  JT asked.

“I’ll cook,” Mark answered as he looked at Kasai and then back to JT.

“Cool then.  Could you cook enough for six?”  JT asked, looking over at Mark.

“Six,” Mark said, looking at JT strangely.

“Yeah six.  One, two, three, four, five, six,” JT said, holding up his hand and counting off his fingers as Mark and Steve looked at him strangely as he started laughing.  “I’ll be bringing Justin, Nick, Steve and Angie home with me.  I’m sure you know how to add.”

“Ha ha, real funny baby,” Mark said with a smile.  “I’ll see what I can do.  I’ll see you guys in a bit then.”

“Yep, you sure will,” JT said, laughing again.

“What’s that all about?”  Steve asked, looking at JT strangely again.

“I have the wildest idea,” JT said with a smirk.

“What kind of idea?”  Steve asked.

“I overheard you two talking,” JT said as he looked over at Justin.

“Oh?  You know that Janet Canton is a bitch that doesn’t want this cripple associating with her son,” Justin sarcastically said, sitting up on the mat.

“You aren’t a cripple and who cares what Janet Canton says or thinks?  I think you should see Nick as much as you can,” JT stated as he moved over to his duffle bag.  “This is why I’m taking you and him to my place for lunch.  It’ll give you and him some time to be together and you can think of it as your first date or something.”

“How are you going to get us out of here?”  Justin asked, looking at JT closely.

“Simple, I’ll just say it’s part of your therapy session,” JT replied with a smile.  “Since you do need to learn how to get around outside of the hospital, I thought I would introduce you to that a little bit early.”

“Ah cool, I think,” Justin said as he hugged JT.  “That makes me happy.”

“Wow, he hugged someone and he’s happy,” Steve said, laughing as Justin smacked him on the arm gently.

“I’m glad you’re happy Justin.  I’m going to call Angie so she’ll be ready to go,” JT stated, pulling out his cell phone.

Sometime Later – The Poole-Walden Estates

“Honey, we’re here,” JT called out, walking through the front door with Angela, Steve, Nick and Justin, following behind him.

“I’m in the kitchen baby,” Mark called out.  “Everything’s almost done, go ahead and get comfortable.”

“Alright, we’ll be sitting out in the family room,” JT said as he threw his things down at the door.  “Where’s Kai?”

“He’s up in his room, where I sentenced him to,” Mark replied.  “What do you all want to drink?”

“I think there’s enough iced tea for all of us,” JT stated.

“There is?  Where is it?”  Mark asked, peeking his head from the kitchen.

“It’s out in the garage’s fridge,” JT replied, walking out of the room.

“How are you feeling Justin?”  Angela asked.

“I’m feeling a whole lot better, now that we’re here together,” Justin answered as Steve got up and then walked away as Angela smiled and then walked over to where he stood.

“Where are you going Steve?”  Angela asked, looking at Steve strangely.

“I’m going to check on Kasai and talk with him a bit,” Steve replied, walking over to the stairs.

“Alright, so how long do we have here?”  Angela asked, looking around.

“We’ll be here for two hours, why do you ask?”  JT asked, walking back into the room.

“I just wanted to know whether or not I had to gobble my food down like a mad woman,” Angela said as she laughed as JT sat down.

“No, you don’t have to gobble your food down in a hurry.  We have a whole lot of time here today, so take your time.  I got you cleared to stay here with Nick, since you’re his main nurse,” JT said with a smile.

“Cool, so what did Larry have to say about that?”  Angela asked, looking at JT.

“Nothing much.  Since Justin and Nick are both high priority cases at the hospital, I’m allowed to take whatever means necessary to make their therapy program work for them,” JT stated as Mark walked into the room.

“Alright guys and girl, it’s time to get down,” Mark said as everyone laughed.  “It’s on.”

“I bet it is,” JT said, hugging Mark.  “So, what are we having?”

“On today’s menu, there’s baked chicken, parsley potatoes, broccoli with cheese sauce and garlic rolls,” Mark replied as he kissed his fingertips.

“Oh, so you think you have it like that, it better be good man,” JT stated, snapping his fingers.

“You know everything that I make is always good and delicious, so you better watch your tongue young man,” Mark said as JT laughed and then shot him the bird.

“I just love it when you say things like that to flatter me, calling me a young man, how cute,” JT said as they went into the dining room.

“Is Kasai coming down to eat with us?”  Steve asked, leaning over the stair railing.

“Yeah, tell the little bugger to come on down,” Mark said, smiling weakly.

“Are you sure about that baby?  It’s a little bit too early for parole,” JT said, looking over at Mark.

“He can come down to eat a meal.  When he’s done eating, he’ll be going right back up to his room to serve his sentence,” Mark said, kissing JT on the cheek.  “Okay guys and girl, dig in.”

“This looks wonderful Mark,” Justin commented, moving over to the table as Nick started to sit next to him.  “It smells yummy too.”

“Wait, you two sit over there,” JT said, pointing to the end of the table.  “Steve, you sit here and Angie, you are here.”

“Kai will sit here, right next to me,” Mark said, patting the seat next to him.

“I don’t want to sit there,” Kasai replied, moving away from Mark.

“You will sit there Kai, now sit down,” Mark said in a stern voice.

“You heard what your father said, now sit down,” JT said, waving his hand at Kasai.

“I don’t want to sit there,” Kasai argue, his voice rising a bit.

“Don’t make me get up from this chair boy,” JT said, looking over at Kasai with an angry expression on his face.  “If I get out of this chair, you’ll not like me when I make first contact with you.  Now sit your lil ass down boy.”

“Do you need more time added to your current sentence?”  Mark asked, walking over to where Kasai stood.  “Just sit down and stop making a scene in front of our guests.”

“I’m not the one making the scene here, you two are,” Kasai replied, glaring at Mark.

“You know what; I’m tired of hearing this.  Go on, get up to your room and don’t come back down until I tell you to,” Mark said, glaring at Kasai.

“I…” Kasai said, looking over at JT.

“Nothing Kai, you heard what I said, now move,” Mark said, pointing at the stairs.  “Get!”

“Daddy,” Kasai whined.

“You heard what Mark said, get to stepping boy,” JT said, turning away from Kasai.

“Fine!”  Kasai exclaimed, running up the stairs to his room quickly as the sound of a door slamming could be heard.

“That went fairly well,” Mark said with a frown.

“Okay, what’s going on with him guys?”  Angela asked, looking at JT.  “It’s like he’s a whole new person now.  That’s a new side of my nephew that I don’t like.”

“Don’t know what’s going on with him Angie and I don’t like this new side of him either.  I think something’s wrong, that he’s not telling us,” JT said with a frown.  “There has to be something more to this, than what we already know.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that boy.  He’s just smelling himself like my mom used to say it.  He just doesn’t want to follow the rules around here.  We give him an inch and he expects a foot in return,” Mark said, sitting down at the table.

“Kids,” JT said, shaking his head.  “I’m sorry you all had to witness that.”

“We were kids too.  We’ve all done something like that at some point or another.  I now I acted worse than that at times,” Justin said, chuckling as JT raised an eye at him.

“That’s just not nice to laugh about Justin.  They’re trying to make an example,” Nick said, looking at Justin with a strange expression on his face.

“Oooooh, he’s talking, he’s talking,” JT said, pointing at Nick with a smile on his face.  “I actually thought his voice was non-existent.”

“I can talk.  I only talk when I have something important to say,” Nick replied, looking down.

“Everything you say to me is important Nick,” Justin said, kissing Nick’s hand.

“Awww, that’s was so sweet,” JT said, turning and looking over at Mark.  “Why don’t you say sweet stuff like that to me?”

“I do, you just don’t listen all the time,” Mark said, shaking his head.

“Oh whatever man,” JT said, smiling at the way Nick and Justin watched each other.

To Be Continued…

If I Ain’t Got You – Chapter 11

Chapter 11 — Dramatic Pause

Dec 30, 2002 – Orlando, FL – Florida Hospital – Nick’s Hospital Room


“Hello,” I spoke into the phone.

“Baby, have you seen Kai?”  I heard Mark’s voice ask.

“No I haven’t, why?  Is there something wrong Mark?”  I asked, not liking the sound of his voice.

“We—we got into an argument and he ran off from me and I can’t find him,” Mark said as I shook my head, wondering what they had gotten into this time.

“What do you mean he ran off and you can’t find him?”  I asked, not realizing I had raised my voice.

“Baby, stop screaming,” he said as the call waiting beep sounded on the line.

“Hold on Mark, I have another call,” I said as I switched over to the other line.  “Hello?”

“Daddy, I need your help,” I heard Kasai’s voice on the line, sounding as if he was crying.

“Kasai, where are you?”  I asked.  “Mark’s on the other line, telling me that you two got into it again and that you ran away from him.  What’s going on boy?”

“Not now Daddy, I need you to come down to the police station and get me,” Kasai stated as multiple images flooded my mind of the reasons why he was there.

“I need to go to the police station and get you?  What’re you doing there?”  I asked, angry with him now.

“I—I got attacked, I just need you to come get me,” he said as he sniffled.  “I told the officers to take me to where you were, but instead they brought me here and said that I needed my parents to come get me.”

“Oh God son, are you okay?”  I asked, my anger fading.

“I will be, as soon as you come and get me.  I’m scared here and I want to go home,” he said as there was a loud scream and a gunshot in the background.

“Kai, what’s going on there?”  I asked, my mood turning into a frantic one.

“Some guy just got shot.  He was raping another prisoner here.  Daddy hurry up and come get me!”  Kasai demanded.

“I’m on my way,” I replied, closing the phone and walking towards the door.

“Is everything okay?”  Janet asked, watching me.

“No, it’s not okay.  We’ll he to finish this some other time.  I need to go,” I stated, walking out the room.

A Few Minutes Later – The Lobby


“How could you treat him like that Mark?  Sometimes I wonder about you.  If he’s gay, he’s gay.  So what, we’re gay!”  I snapped, walking through the hospital doors.

“Yeah and look at all the crap we’ve had to go through in the last couple of years together,” Mark said with a frown. “I don’t want him going through the same shit we’ve had to go through baby.  I love him and I don’t want to see him hurt in any way.”

“I know you love him, but sometimes you can be a little bit harsh,” I said, getting into the van as I closed the door and then got the seatbelt buckled.  “We’ll just have to smooth this over later on, right now we just need to go get him and get him home.”

“Baby, you know I wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt him,” he said, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek.

“I know Mark, just drive.  While I talked with him on the phone, I heard a gunshot,” I told him as he swerved and looked at me.

“You heard a gunshot?”  He asked as I nodded my head.

“Yeah, Kai said that one of the prisoners was being raped and from the sounds of things, I guess the guards had to shoot the one doing the raping,” I told him as we arrived at the police station.  “Come on.”

“Baby, why don’t you stay here while I go in and get him,” he told me.

“I’m not staying out here… I’m going in there to get my child.  You can stay out here if you like, but I’m not,” I told him, opening the door and grabbing my crutches.

“Wait for me baby,” he said as I walked up the steps and got to the door.  “I got that.”

“Thanks,” I said as we walked down to the windowed counter.  “Hi, I’m JT Poole and I’m here to pick up my son, Kasai Poole.”

“You’re the kid’s dad?”  The man behind the counter asked as I looked at him funny.

“Yes, I’m his dad.  What seems to be the problem?”  I asked.

“You don’t look like a queen,” the officer said as I looked at him funny, wondering where this was going.

“I don’t look like a ‘queen’?  What is that supposed to mean?”  I asked, watching the man as my anger level rose.

“Your son was brought in here for starting a fight.  He shot his mouth off to some guys that were bigger than he is and he couldn’t handle it.  From what I heard, he was defending his gay dad,” the man stated as Mark stepped up behind me.

“I’m his gay dad, what’s your fucking point mister?”  I asked, slipping into bitch mode.  “I came here to pick up my son and I’m still waiting.”

“Hold your horses there.  Sheesh, I guess you are a queen,” the man said as he moved over to another part of the counter and grabbed a folder and then picked up a phone.

“Keep on talking mister and I’ll sue you and this entire place for your actions.  You’re pressing your luck with me tonight,” I stated as a police officer came around the corner with Kasai.

“Daddy!”  Kasai screamed, running over and hugging me tightly.

“Are you okay kid?”  I asked as he cried in my arms.  “I guess that’s a no.”

“What did you people do to him?”  Mark asked, looking at the two men.

“We didn’t do anything to the little wimp.  He’s been sitting back there in a cell since we brought him in,” the first man spoke as I looked at him like he had lost his damn mind.

“Why was he sitting back there, in a damn cell?”  I asked, my pissed off mood coming back full force.

“He broke the law.  When someone breaks the law, we put them in a jail cell.  That’s why it’s called jail,” the first man spoke as I shook my head.

“Okay, before this goes any further, is he free to go?”  I asked, starring the officer down.

“Yeah, he’s free to leave here.  Just make sure he stays out of trouble,” the first man spoke as he looked at me like he wanted to say more.

“Well thank you officer, we’ll be leaving now.  Have a good night,” I said as we walked out and headed back to the van.

“Are you okay?”  Mark asked, looking at Kai, getting no answer as we got to the van, opened the doors and got in.

“How did all of this start Kai?”  I asked, turning around in my seat a little bit so I could see him.

“After I left Daddy Mark at the hospital, I walked over to Lisa’s to talk about what we talked about earlier.  I got to her place, we talked and I was going to change my mind about telling her, but then I thought it would be wrong to lead her on.  I told her about my feelings and then she kicked me out.  After I left her place, some of her friends ran after me and tried to beat me up.  That’s when the police arrived and took us all to jail,” Kasai explained as Mark shook his head.

“So, Lisa sent her friends to attack you because you told her you’re gay?”  I asked.

“Yeah,” he replied as he sniffled.  “I wasn’t trying to hurt her.  I was only trying to keep from hurting her, but it seems it didn’t matter either way.  This is just great.  I won’t be able to show my face around school now.”

“Why is that?”  Mark asked.

“She’s going to tell everybody that I’m gay and her friends will too,” Kasai said as he sniffled.

“You have to be strong son.  Regardless of what she or anyone else thinks of you, you’re being true to yourself and trying to be true to her.  If she’s that small minded and inconsiderate, then she never liked you in the first place,” I told him as I climbed into the backseat with him and pulled him into my arms, holding him tight as he cried.

“It’s going to be okay, just don’t worry about any of this,” Mark stated as he looked in the rearview mirror.  “This will pass, I promise you that.”

“I hope so Daddy Mark, if not, I might be able to handle it,” Kasai stated as he held onto me.

“You’ll be just fine son,” I told him, kissing the top of his head.

“We’re almost home.  Do you guys want to go grab something to eat or order something in?”  Mark asked, turning onto Ventura.

“Kai, do you want to stop and get something?”  I asked.

“No, not really Daddy, I’ll get something out of the kitchen at home,” he lightly spoke.

“Alright,” I replied, smoothing his hair back on his head.  “Baby, what did you do with the food I had left over from Chili’s?”

“I ate it baby, I told you if you didn’t finish it, I would,” Mark said, laughing at me.

“Well damn, I guess I’ll cook something then,” I said, shaking my head.  “Mr. Greedy.”

“Fine, I’ll cook something.  You and baby boy go into the family room and I’ll prepare a nice late dinner,” Mark said as we turned on our street.

“Could we watch a movie?”  Kasai asked as I nodded my head.

“Sure, what do you want to watch?”  I asked as we pulled into the driveway.

“I don’t care what we watch,” Kasai replied as Mark smiled.

“How about we watch one of our favorites baby?  Why don’t we watch a Ricki Lake movie?”  Mark asked as he turned off the van, unbuckled his seatbelt, got out and closed the door, walking around to the passenger side to help me out.  “We could maybe watch ‘Serial Mom’ or ‘Miss Winterbourne’ this time,” Mark suggested as I shook my head.

“Or we could watch ‘Babycakes’ or ‘Hairspray’.  I love those movies the most,” I said as Mark shook his head as he helped me out of the van.

“Why don’t we try ‘Babycakes’.  I keep falling asleep on that one when you play it,” Mark responded and then laughed.

“That’s because you’re always half asleep when I’m watching it,” I said as I kissed him on the cheek as he held me up.

“Do you need your chair baby or do you think you can make it?”  He asked as Kasai moved around the two of us.

“I think I can make it handsome,” I replied as I took my crutches from Kasai as we walked up to the front door.

“Why don’t we call Aunt Angie and see if she wants to come over,” Kasai said as he looked at me.

“Sorry bud, but Angie’s not available at this time,” I told him, just as the phone started to ring inside the house.  “Go in there and get the phone Kai.”

“Okay Daddy,” Kasai said as he unlocked the door and then ran into the foyer to grab the phone.

“Who is it?”  I asked.

“It’s someone from the hospital,” Kasai replied as he stood by the kitchen entrance, holding the phone in his hand.

“Do you have to go back to work baby?”  Mark asked, sitting my wheelchair down in front of me.

“I don’t know.  I haven’t even taken the call yet.  Let me find out what’s going on first,” I told him as I took the phone from Kasai.  “Hello…”

“Mr. Poole, there seems to be a problem here at the hospital that requires your approval,” I heard the voice of Candy, one of the nurses from the sector Nick was currently in.

“What requires my approval Candy?”  I asked, wondering what she would be calling me for at this time of night as I looked over at Mark strangely as he shrugged his shoulders and then started making funny faces.

“There’s a problem concerning Mr. Canton.  He’s in Mr. Tanner’s room and he’s refusing to leave.  He stated that he wasn’t leaving the room and that he was going to remain there until morning,” Candy explained as I shook my head, wondering why she was calling me for something like that.

“So let him stay in there.  I don’t see any harm with that.  Did you call Dr. Warrenton or Dr. Donaldson about this matter?”  I asked.

“They both said whatever you said goes, since Ms. Michaels isn’t available,” Candy replied as I shook my head again.

“I don’t see the harm in him being in Justin’s room.  Let him stay in here.  They’re in the same therapy group and they’re adults.  It’s quite alright,” I stated.

“Okay Mr. Poole, I’ll make a note of this,” she said as I shook my head.

“Is there anything else Candy?”  I asked.

“No sir,” she replied.

“Alright Candy, have a good night then,” I said, hanging up the phone and then walking into the kitchen where Mark was mixing some stuff in a bowl.  “What are you making Mista Poole?”

“I’m mixing some sauce for the steak kabobs that are on the grill in the back Mista Walden,” he replied, kissing me on the cheek.

“You do realize it’s cold outside, right?”  I asked, walking over to the refrigerator.

“Yes baby, I do realize that,” he said with a smile.  “I’m only cooking the steak kabobs out there.  I have baked potatoes in the oven and I’ve already prepared a garden salad.”

“Oh my, you’re on the ball in here,” I said as he smiled.  “Where’s Kai?”

“He said he was going to shower,” he replied as he put the bowl down.  “Baby, grab the buzzer, the potatoes are ready.”

“Okay,” I replied, walking over to the oven, opening it and smiling at the smell of the potatoes.  “Those look good.  What did you top them with?”

“No baby, no tasting until it’s time to sit down at the table,” he said, smacking my hand.

“Well hurry up, I’m ready to eat,” I said as he shook his head.

“Who’s being greedy now?”  He asked as I shook my head and then threw a towel at him.  “Hey, watch it baby.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” I said as he walked over and kissed my mouth.

Dec 31, 2002 – The Spot Nightclub

“Hey baby, what’re you doing here?”  Joshua Charles asked, walking up to Kevin Richards as he sat on a barstool at the bar with a beer in his hand.

“Oh hell no, just leave me alone Josh.  Just stay far away from me,” Kevin stated as he put the beer down and then got up from the bar and started walking towards the exit.

“I’m not going to leave you alone Kev, I know that look.  Someone has hurt your dick’s feelings.  Was it that chick from the hospital that you were talking to earlier?”  Joshua asked.

“Just mind your own damn business Josh,” Kevin said as he continued walking.

“Come on Kevin, you know you don’t want me to leave you alone,” Joshua said as he got closer to Kevin, grabbed his arm and stopped him from walking away as he placed his hand on his crotch, squeezing gently.

“Cut that out Josh,” Kevin said as he smacked Josh’s hand away from his crotch.

“I won’t.  You know you love it when I do that.  You never complained about me squeezing you there before.  You used to love it when I played with your cock and sucked it until you came all over my face,” Joshua stated in a seductive tone as he rubbed his fingers slowly across Kevin’s chest.  “You know you want to fuck me tonight.  You know you want me to touch…”

“No I don’t,” Kevin replied, his voice trembling a bit.

“Yes you do Kevin, your voice is betraying you right now.  I can hear it in your voice of how much you want to screw me right now,” Joshua said as he leaned in close and kissed Kevin’s neck while he slowly massaged his cock through his pants.  “Come on Kevin, let’s just go back to my house and make love like we used to all night long.”

“I don’t want to do that Josh, just leave me alone, please,” Kevin said in a small voice.  “I—I can’t do that anymore… I—I’m a changed man.”

“Okay Kevin, have it your way.  You know you could be at my place right now, fucking my ass, over and over again.  In and out, in and out, over and over again, filling me up with your cum, making me beg you to pound me, harder and harder, faster and faster,” Joshua said as he punctuated each of his words with a squeeze to Kevin’s cock.

“Damn it Josh, you know I can’t resist you when you do that to me,” Kevin said, panting like he had been running in a marathon.

“Come on Kevin, why don’t we take this back to my place, so I can make you really breathe heavy.  When I’m done with you, you’d have a reason to breathe like that,” Joshua said as he leaned in and kissed Kevin’s mouth and then pulled him towards the door.

Florida Hospital – Justin’s Hospital Room

“It’s very simple really, all you have to do is make sure that no one comes in the room,” Justin said as he shook his head.

“You know you can’t do that Justin.  The nurses have to come in and check on you hourly, to make sure your body is functioning properly,” Jamie said as he walked over to where Nick and Justin sat on the bed.

“Why not, we just want to be here, in peace,” Justin said with a frown.  “We can’t have peace with everyone in and out of here, all the damn time.”

“The hospital isn’t a place for meetings Justin, this is your life we’re talking about here,” Jamie said as Marshall walked back into the room.

“Don’t you two understand where I’m coming from here?”  Justin asked, frowning as he looked at Jamie.

“I understand you Justin, but now isn’t the time.  You need to wait until you’re released in a few weeks,” Jamie stated as he sighed.

“I don’t want to wait a few weeks, we have now,” Justin said as he held Nick’s hand.

“I give up, we’ve been here for the last hour, trying to explain this to you.  You just don’t want to listen, you’re too darn stubborn,” Jamie stated as there was a knock at the door.

“Hello Mr. Tanner,” a nurse spoke, peeking her head into the room.  “I need to check your colostomy bag, if it’s okay if I come in?”

“Sure,” Justin replied as the nurse stepped into the room.

“Thank you.  Can you all please leave the room,” the nurse spoke as Jamie and Marshall moved towards the door but Nick didn’t.

“That includes you too sir,” the woman stated, looking at Nick.

“He can stay,” Justin responded as he looked at the woman, the expression on his face, speaking volumes of it’s own.

“Okay then,” the nurse stated as she picked up Justin’s chart, checked off some things and then moved around the bed to where he and Nick were.  “I need you to lift your shirt.”

“Yes ma’am,” Justin replied as he lifted the nightshirt he wore as the nurse pulled on a pair of gloves and then examined the tubing that was inserted into his abdominal wall.  “Is this going to take long?”

“Not at all Mr. Tanner,” the nurse replied with a smile as Justin frowned as she moved over to the sink, opened a cabinet and grabbed a gauze packet out and opened it.

“Is that thing going to be removed or do I have to keep it forever?”  Justin asked, pointing at the small pouch on his side as the nurse came back over and used the gauze to wipe around the opening.

“Right now, you have to have this until your intestines have healed and you can fully use the bathroom on your own,” the nurse answered.

“That’s just great,” Justin replied as he sighed again.

“Didn’t the doctor explain all of this to you?”  The nurse asked, disposing of the gauze and then removing the gloves as she went over to the sink and washed her hands.

“Probably so, it probably went over my head though and I had no idea what they were talking about,” Justin stated as the nurse motioned with her hand that he could put his shirt back down.

“Well if you like, I can have your PT tell you all about this stuff again,” the nurse stated as Justin just looked at her strangely.

“My PT?  What’s that?”  Justin asked.

“Your PT is your physical therapist.  I see that you have Mr. Poole and he’s also your counselor,” the nurse stated with a smile.

“Yeah,” Justin said, nodding his head.

“Well I’ll just make a note on your chart so he can go over this stuff with you,” the nurse stated as she picked up the chart again and then flipped some pages.  “Is there anything I can get you before I leave sir?”

“No thank you,” Justin replied as Lynn, Janet, Jamie and Marshall walked into the room.

“You have a good night sir,” the nurse stated, walking out of the room as Janet and Lynn looked at each other and then started arguing.

“What’s going on here?”  Justin asked, looking between his mother and Janet.

“You two need to cut it out,” Jamie suggested as Janet looked at him strangely.

“You stay out of this, you have nothing to do with this,” Janet said as she pointed her finger at Jamie.

“Don’t talk to him like that!”  Lynn snapped, pointing her finger at Janet.  “I can’t believe you said that about my son, I ought…”

“I’m telling the truth, I’m not trying to be hurtful or anything.  I don’t believe they should be together,” Janet stated as she glared at Lynn.

“I feel the same way, but not for the same reasons as you,” Lynn stated, walking over to the table and sitting down.  “I want Justin to get better before he starts dating someone.”

“I don’t think Nick would be in a good, healthy relationship, being with your son.  He’s a cripple and that doesn’t make for a good life,” Janet said as Lynn got up, walked over to where Janet stood and then smacked the hell out of her as Jamie and Marshall had to move quickly to grab her, holding her back from hitting Janet again.

“You bitch!”  Lynn snapped, fuming mad as she struggled to get away from Jamie and Marshall as the nurse returned.

“There’s too much noise in here, I’m calling security,” the nurse stated, standing in the doorway to the room.

“Lynn, you need to calm down,” Jamie stated as he tried to hold Lynn back from hitting Janet again.

“Please stop Mom,” Justin begged as he slid out of the bed and got into his wheelchair.  “Please stop fighting.”

“Look at him, I’m right, can’t you see that!”  Janet snapped, pointing at Justin.  “Do you actually see yourself being with someone like him Nick?  Speak to me son.”

“Yes Mom, I do see myself being with him,” Nick answered for the first time, since he’d been in Justin’s room.  “He’s nice to me.  He’s making me happy right now.”

“How in the hell is he making you happy?  He can’t walk!”  Janet snapped, walking over to Nick as she pointed at Justin.

“He’s not Brian, he’s not Jacob and he’s definitely not James,” Nick stated as he looked up at Janet.  “I can feel it.  Justin’s different.  I don’t believe he’ll hurt me, not like they did.”

“Of course he’s different, he can’t walk away from you like the others did,” Janet said, shaking her head.  “Please tell me this isn’t a pity relationship.”

“Thank you Mrs. Canton,” Justin stated as he wheeled out of the room.

“Justin, Justin wait, please don’t go,” Nick said as he got up. “Thanks Mom, thank you very fucking much!”

“What in the hell is wrong with you?”  Lynn asked as she got away from Jamie and Marshall.  “There must be something wrong in that blond head of yours!  Do you realize what you’ve done?”

“I don’t really care,” Janet said as Lynn shook her head and then hauled off and smacked her in the face again.

To Be Continued…

The Chastayne Life – Chapter 5

Chapter 5 — A Problem Not Easily Solved

Sunday Night — The Chastayne Family Estate — Geraldine’s Study

A knock at the door, Geraldine walked across the room and then opened the door.  A weak smile on her face, Geraldine stepped back and then looked at the woman she once called friend.  Motioning with her head, the person entered the room and waited for a command.

“Vivian, I need you to take Donna here to one of the rooms on the other side of the house and help her get settled in,” Geraldine instructed as the young woman bowed her head and then waited for Donna to move.  “Donna, I’ll see you in the morning.  Be sure you see me at nine sharp.  Do you understand?”

“Yes, I understand,” Donna replied, looking down at her hands.

“Vivian, make sure none of the other help bother Donna here.  You are the only one I want to interact with her,” Geraldine stated.

“Yes ma’am,” Vivian replied as she nodded her head and then waited for Donna to follow her out of the room.

“Goodnight both of you,” Geraldine spoke, turning around as she walked over behind her desk.

“Good night Mrs. Chastayne,” Vivian replied as footsteps could be heard walking up the stairs.

Monday Morning — Across Town — Saint Catherine’s General Hospital

“Good morning Dr. Sheldon,” Dr. Sheldon heard as he walked through the entrance doors to the hospital and then looked up to see one of the interns walking towards him.

“Good morning Keegan,” Dr. Sheldon spoke as the intern looked at him with a strange smile on his face as the two of them walked down the hall.  “Is there something you want?”

“Yes sir, I—I was wondering if there was a way I can be added to your surgical team,” the young man spoke as Dr. Sheldon shook his head.

“Why is it that you would like to be on my surgical team Keegan?”  Dr. Sheldon asked as he looked at the young man closely. 

“Because your surgical team is the best sir,” the young man replied, looking at Dr. Sheldon with a wide smile.  “If I was a part of your surgical team, that would help me excel in…”

“So that’s what you want,” Dr. Sheldon stated as he stopped walking and looked at the young man.  “You want something from me.  What do I get from you in return?”

“I… Ah… Well… What would you like from me sir?”  The young man asked as Dr. Sheldon smiled almost wickedly as he turned to face the young man.

Gregory’s POV

Oh, this is just too easy.  This young man knows what he’s doing right now.  In this day in age, in order for one to get ahead, one must give some head.  This must be my lucky damn day, compared to all the other shit going on in my life.  Between the shit with Julie and that fucked-up gangster, trying to cause problems for me around here, there could be a silver lining after all.

“Sir, is there something wrong?”  Keegan asked, snapping me out of my thoughts as I smiled to myself.

“No, there’s nothing wrong at all,” I answered him as his previous words echoed in my ears about what he could do for me.

As I see it, he wants something from me, so I think I can play this so I get what I want from him.  I’m sure he’s seen the way I look at him when he enters a room.  Hell, I’m sure he knows how he looks in those tight ass chinos he wears all the time.  If I get my way, those tight chinos will be coming off and I’ll be sliding in between those cute round mounds of his.

“Well sir, is there a way I can become a part of your surgical team?”  He asked as I stopped walking, placing my hand on his shoulder as he locked eyes with me.

“Why don’t you come to my office this evening and we’ll talk more about it then,” I suggested as he smiled, just as my pager went off.

“Alright sir, thank you sir,” he said as he walked off as I looked at my pager and then shook my head. 

Damn it, what does the damn gangster want now?  I don’t have time to deal with him or his thugs right now.  My goal for right now is how I’m going to get the cute Keegan James into my bed tonight.  Hell, I’ve been after that ass since he came to work for the hospital.  If I play my cards right, I’ll be working that ass over tonight. 

Across Town – The Donovan Home – The Kitchen

“Good morning baby, how did you sleep?”  Alex asked as JT walked into the kitchen, yawning as he stretched.  “Are you okay baby?”

“I’m fine baby,” JT replied, yawning again as he sighed and then sat down at the kitchen table.  “Are the kids up yet?”

“Mason is, but Caleb’s still sleeping,” Alex replied as he leaned in close and kissed JT’s mouth.  “Come on baby, what’s going on?”

“I’m just tired baby, don’t worry about me,” JT replied as he accepted the cup of coffee that Alex handed to him.  “It seems all I did was toss and turn last night.  All of my dreams centered around my father’s threat.”

“So, you’re actually worried about that now?  Is that the case baby?”  Alex asked as JT nodded his head.  “Really?  You’re worried about that now?”

“It’s more like I’m concerned,” JT responded as he yawned again and then took a sip of his coffee.

“Why baby?  Why are you concerned now?  You finally see what I’ve been talking about for so long?”  Alex asked as JT looked down at the coffee cup.  “Baby, your father is really crazy and I truly believe that he’ll try to do something to hurt us one of these…”

“He’s not going to do anything to hurt us Alex,” JT stated as Alex shook his head and then walked towards the door.  “Alex…”

“It’s breakfast time.  I’m going to get our children,” Alex said, walking out of the room as JT frowned and then sighed.

“This is going to be a very long day,” JT stated as he shook his head.  “After we have our meeting with Mrs. Shepherd at the school, I’ll have to take him somewhere, someplace private so we can talk and try to smooth all of this over.

New York City, NY – LaGuardia Airport – A Private Room

Reverend Ely Carter’s POV

Thank the Lord, I’m leaving this place and heading back home.  I don’t know what it is, but I feel—feel like this is the best thing for me to be doing right now.  There’s nothing like going home.  Being surrounded with family and friends is the best medicine for a broken heart.

Since I’ve been here in this place of sin, all I’ve felt was guilt and sadness.  I shouldn’t be feeling guilty about anything and I shouldn’t be sad, being that I’ve had a wonderful time, every place I went.  I first thought my feelings were because I left Lauren at home to come here, but I think my feelings are more about the past, not the present.  I was once a happy man here in this place, but that happiness was false, it was full of sin, leading me down the wrong path.  I was in this place with a man, a man that I can’t… won’t be with.

“Stop it Ely, stop this,” I said aloud as I sighed and then took a deep breath.

That’s all in the past and this is now.  I’ve been saved from that way of life and I’m sure of that sin.  I have a beautiful girlfriend that stands by me and supports my dreams wholeheartedly.  I shouldn’t be sitting in this room, contemplating my feelings about the past.  I shouldn’t be sitting here, thinking about a man… a man that is no longer available to me.  Besides, that man should be the least of my worries.

Thinking back on things, why in the world did I agree to come on this missionary trip with the others in the first place?  The way I feel right now is just a result of me being here, in a place of sin where I was once happy with a man.  I should’ve known those feelings would come back upon me coming to this place.  Now I feel like my whole life has been a big lie!  My life has been a big joke, a joke that the Lord is possibly playing on me.

“I’m in a relationship with a woman when I should… I should be with a man… A man that I once loved… the man I still think about very much,” I spoke, looking around the room as I wondered how many people had been in this room, thinking similar thoughts as I.

Damn it all to hell!  Because of my family, I pushed that man away and told him I couldn’t be with him, that loving him was a sin—a sin against God.  I told him that I had to be with a woman and that he needed to be with one too.  I’m a really confused here!  Only if I’d just listened to him, we’d be together right now.  We’d both be happy—happy like his lawyer best friend is happy, the one I met a while back, while hanging out with him.

“Lord, please show me the right way here,” I said, looking up towards the ceiling, hoping for a sign that I was doing the right thing.

Is being Reverent Ely Carter what I’m supposed to be or am I to be just me, the guy that loves another man?  Am I really meant to be a reverend?  I’m in the place where I can change my life forever.  All I need is a sign here Lord.

“I want what his friend and that guy have.  That’s what I need in my life, but is it too late for me to have that?  My heart felt happy when I saw those two men with their cute little kids.  Why Lord, why can’t I have that kind of life?  That’s the life I crave… a life filled with love.  That’s what I want, myself, my husband and our kids,” I said, looking around the room, realizing just how alone I am in the world.

That’s the life I want, but I screwed it up and the man I saw myself having that life with isn’t here with me, like he should be.  How can I get that life back?  Lord, I need a sign here.  Please Lord, please guide me in the right direction.

= Flight 214 to Atlanta has been delayed due to unforeseen circumstances. =

“That’s my flight,” I said, looking up towards the sky.  “I guess that’s the sign I needed Lord.  Thank you for answering me.”

Smiling, I grabbed my carry-on bag and tossed it over my shoulder as I walked towards the door, heading towards the ticket counter to trade my ticket in for the one I needed to take me where the man I want and need, currently is.  I now know what’s more important, the love of the man that may or may not want me.  What I have to do now is find out just what I need to do to fix my heart.

Albany, NY – The Taurus Club – A Private Room

“Well hello Mr. Randall, how are you doing this evening?”  Hillary asked, walking into the room where Justin sat on the bed.  “Do you have something special in mind, that you want to do with me?”

“Why don’t you come over here and surprise me,” Justin spoke, licking his lips as Hillary smiled and then walked slowly over to him as piece-by-piece of her clothing was thrown to the floor.

“Does this suit your fancy Mr. Randall?”  Hillary asked as Justin nodded his head as she moved closer to him, pushing him backwards on the bed as she climbed into his lap.

“Mmmmm yeah,” Justin moaned as Hillary worked on his tie as she leaned in and kissed his mouth, while gyrating her hips on his crotch.

“You like that Daddy?”  Hillary asked, using his tie to pull him close as she nipped at his bottom lip and then maneuvered her hips in a different way as Justin gasped and then moaned again.  “You must like that very much.”

“You know what I want to do,” Justin whispered as Hillary smiled and then reached down to his pants, sliding his zipper down.  “That’s right baby, take it out.”

“What do you want me to do with it, when I take it out?”  Hillary asked, licking his bottom lip as she stroked his manhood with her hand.

“I want you to ride it baby, ride it all the way home,” Justin replied as she stroked his dick a few more times as she maneuvered herself again as she inserted his manhood inside her.  “Oh God, that’s it!”

“You seem ready Daddy,” Hillary stated, sliding up a bit and then slowly sliding back down as Justin lay flat on the bed as he closed his eyes as his hands found their way to her hips as he directed her movements, up and down on his lap.  “You in control now Daddy.”

“Yeah baby, just like that,” Justin moaned, stroking her hip as his butt rose up off the bed a bit, inserting himself more into her as she moaned this time.  “You like it baby?”

“I love it Daddy,” Hillary replied as Justin smiled, still having his eyes closed as he held onto her hips, slowly thrusting up into her as she leaned on one arm, holding herself up as he entered her over and over, faster and harder.

Across Town – Chastayne, Crestmore and Johnson Law Office – James’ Office

“Good morning Benjamin, what can I do for you?”  James asked as a tall white man walked into the room.

“I need a favor James,” the man replied as James smiled.

“What kind of favor do you need?”  James asked, looking at the man closely.

“I need one of your special favors,” the man replied as James motioned with his head for the man to sit down in front of his desk.

“Oh, what’s going on Benjamin?”  James asked.

“I have a problem that needs to be solved rather quickly,” the man spoke as he smiled evilly.  “Being that you know the law, I want you to use that law to help me out.”

“Well you’ve come to the right place,” James said as he walked over and then closed the door to the room as he returned back to his desk and then pressed a button under his desk.  “What kind of help do you need this time?”

“The kind of help that involves a little piss-ant, that has violated my daughter, being taken care of, if you know what I mean,” the man replied as James looked at him strangely.

“What do you want me to do about this ‘piss-ant’ that has violated your daughter Benjamin?”  James asked.

“Being that she’s in love with him, she doesn’t see that he’s no good for her,” the man stated as he shook his head.  “This is where you come in at.  I need you to get him locked up for brutalizing my baby-girl.”

“Have you tried the police already?”  James asked.

“The police let him go, mainly because she refused to say he did anything to her,” the man replied as he shook his head.

“How old is your daughter Benjamin, and the young man?”  James asked.

“She’s fifteen and that little piss-ant is seventeen,” the man replied as James shook his head.

“What do you want the law to do to him Benjamin?”  James asked, tapping his fingers on his desk.  “Right now, there isn’t a law on the books that can really do anything to him; especially if she’s not willing to tell the police or the courts that he did something wrong to her.”

“She’s pregnant for Pete’s sake!” The man screamed as James raised an eye at him.  “That bastard knocked my baby girl up!  My little girl is going to have a little girl of her own real soon!”

“Unless she tells the police that he did something to her, there’s really nothing the law can do to stop them from being together Benjamin,” James stated as the man shook his head and then made a move to get up from the chair.  “Now, if you want to look outside the law…”

“Now you’re speaking my language,” the man said as James smiled.

“So, who is this boy?”  James asked as the man smiled.

“Todd Halstead,” the man replied as James rubbed at his head for a moment and then looked back at the man strangely.  “Yeah, he’s the son of the town’s new mayor.”

“Come now Benjamin,” James said as he shook his head.  “That’s a little bit too close to home there.”

“So, you’re saying you can’t handle this?”  The man asked as he stood up.

“I’m saying that I won’t handle that Benjamin,” James stated as he shook the man’s hand.  “You’ll have to find someone else to handle that task.”

“Can you suggest somebody?”  The man asked as James pointed at the door.  “Why can’t you do this James?”

“That boy is already in the damn spotlight Benjamin.  He’s the son of the mayor,” James stated as he walked around his desk.  “If something happened to that young man, the police will turn this town upside down, trying to find the reason behind what happened to him.  I’m not looking for that kind of heat in my business.”

“I—I’ll just have to think of something else,” the man said as he turned and walked to the door.

“You might have to let this one be for the time being,” James stated as the man shook his head.  “Maybe something else will happen and your daughter won’t love him anymore.”

“You know young love is heard to control,” the man stated as he shook his head.  “I’ll guess I’ll be going.  Good day James.”

“Good day to you as well Benjamin,” James said as the man walked out of the office.

Geraldine’s Office

“Well good morning Donna,” Geraldine stated as Donna walked into the room.  “I take it, you’re well rested and refreshed after a good night’s sleep.”

“Yes,” Donna replied as Geraldine pointed over at a chair.

“Good, why don’t we go ahead and get things started,” Geraldine stated as she tapped her fingers on the desk.  “So, do you have any clues as to what you want to do for a job?”

“I’ll do anything,” Donna stated as Geraldine shook her head.

“Hell, in all the time that I’ve known you, you’ve only been good at doing one thing…” Geraldine stated as Donna gasped.  “Only been good for laying on your damn back.”

“I’ve done other things besides that,” Donna stated, looking down at the floor.

“I’m sure you have, but your ass is too damn old to work as a ho, so we’ll have to find something else for you to do,” Geraldine stated as Donna sighed.

“Geraldine please, I—I need a job, not this constant humiliation from you,” Donna stated as Geraldine raised an eye at her.

“If you want my help, you’ll put up with any and every fucking thing I have to say and do to you,” Geraldine stated as she stood up behind her desk.  “Now, if you don’t want my help, you’re free to walk your nasty ass up out of here and be on your merry little way.”

“Fine,” Donna said, looking down as Geraldine took her seat again.

“Good, now back to the topic at hand,” Geraldine stated as she folded her hands and then looked over at Donna.  “What are we going to do, to get you back on your feet, so you don’t end up on your back, as usual Donna?”

“As I said, I’ll do anything,” Donna stated as Geraldine smiled.

“Tell you what, why don’t you go over to the Taurus Club, I’m sure you can keep the girls in line there and keep an eye on things for me,” Geraldine stated as she handed Donna a business card.  “I’ll call ahead and let the girls know that you’ll be overseeing their activities from now on.  You think you can handle that Donna, being that you have plenty of expertise in that area.”

“Yes ma’am,” Donna replied with a small smile.

“Good, go clean up your face and find something hot and classy to wear and get your ass to work,” Geraldine demanded as she picked up the phone on the desk.

“Yes ma’am,” Donna stated as she got up from the chair and walked towards the door.

“Oh and Donna,” Geraldine spoke as she stopped dialing numbers on the phone.

“Yes ma’am,” Donna replied.

“Your job is to oversee, not participate,” Geraldine stated as she pointed her finger at Donna as she continued dialing numbers on the phone.  “You may go.”

“Yes ma’am,” Donna spoke as she walked out of the room.

Saint Sebastian Day School – The Counseling Office


Damn, I’m bored out of my mind right now.  We’ve been here for a whole hour now and all this woman has talked about is the dynamics of a properly functioning plan.  We’re here to talk about our child, not a damn plan.  Since we’ve been here, Alex hasn’t looked at me once.  At one point, I thought he had fallen asleep, but that was soon rectified when he cleared his throat and asked her a question.  But that doesn’t answer my question of why he’s not looking at me.  Is he mad at me?  He hasn’t said much to me since we left the house this morning.

“So, with all of his improvements, I think it would be best that we update his ISP with some new and challenging goals.  Do you two agree?”  Mrs. Shepherd asked with a smile.

“Mrs. Shepherd, Caleb is a smart little boy, but I feel that changing his routine like this could cause a problem,” I stated as she nodded her head.  “I’ve learned that following a set routine with him, he responds in a more pleasant tone and demeanor.”

“Yes, he craves structure, but sometimes things change and he needs to learn how to adapt and cope with those changes,” she stated as I shook my head, reading to object when Alex turned to me.

“She has a point baby,” Alex spoke as I looked at him, wondering where that came from all of a sudden.

“She may have a point, but she’s not around with him when he goes into meltdown when things change and he’s not ready for said changes,” I said as he frowned.  “You know he doesn’t like change well and just the smallest things set him off.”

“It seems we have to adapt to change too.  We can’t keep catering to his bad moods when he doesn’t have a good day,” Alex stated as she smiled.

“Maybe so, but that’s something that doesn’t happen overnight,” I said, sighing, wondering what rebuttal I would get.

“No one said this would happen in a day Mr. Chastayne-Donovan,” she said with a smile.  “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

“No it wasn’t,” I replied as Alex turned around.

“So, how do we go about this?”  Alex asked.

“I think you three should sit down and have a talk.  That seems like the perfect place to start,” she said with a smile.  “Once you all talk, then we can start things here.  Sound like a plan?”

“I—I guess so,” I replied as Alex turned and looked at me with a smile on his face.

“Great, here are the new goals his teachers think he could work on.  What do you two think of these?”  She asked, handing us a sheet of paper.

Reading over the page, I looked over at Alex as he looked back at me.  After reading the new goal tracking sheet that Caleb’s teachers had come up with, I placed the paper down on the desk and looked over at Mrs. Shepherd.  Should I agree to this and go along with the flow or fuss until everyone around sees my point of view?  I guess I better take in a big breath.

“Mrs. Shepherd, did you read through that list of goals?”  I asked as she nodded her head.  “Oh-kay, Alex, do you have anything to say?”

“Baby, I… Go ahead,” Alex said as I shook my head.

“Caleb will interact with at least five peers each day, for at least fifteen minutes,” I said as she looked at me as if I hadn’t said anything to her.  “Did you hear what I said Mrs. Shepherd?”

“Yes Mr. Chastayne-Donovan, I heard you,” she replied as I shook my head.

“Do you really think that’s a viable goal for Caleb?”  I asked as she nodded her head.  “Mrs. Shepherd, I don’t believe that to be a good goal for him to have at this stage of things.  As you’ve noticed, Caleb only talks to a select few.  Regardless of how much begging and pleading we do, that’s not likely going to change.”

“Mr. Chastayne-Donovan, I believe if Caleb is…” she started as I shook my head, interrupting her as I held up my hand.

“Mrs. Shepherd, we know our son and I’m sure Alex will agree with me, but this goal is a little bit too much for right now,” I said as Alex nodded his head.  “I think we’re lucky that our son talks to us.”

“Caleb just need a little push in the right direction to get him to where he need to be with other students,” she said as Alex stood up.

“Mrs. Shepherd, why don’t we leave things the way they are for right now and we’ll approach this subject again in a few months,” Alex suggested as he held out his hand to me.  “Thank you Mrs. Shepherd, good day.”

“Gentlemen,” Mrs. Shepherd spoke as the two of us walked out of the room and then closed the door behind us.

“Baby, are you mad at me?”  I asked as Alex looked at me closely, leaned in close and then kissed my lips.

“I wasn’t mad, just a bit hurt,” he replied as we touched our foreheads together.  “Baby, I want you to understand that you and the boys are my world and sometimes I feel—I feel like we’re not your world.  I feel like you just throw me and the boys on the back burner and don’t care what happens to us.”

“That’s not true baby,” I replied as he looked at me strangely.  “It’s not…”

“Baby, your father can end our lives together at any moment and there’s nothing anyone can really do about it.  When he makes threats to your life, you don’t take him seriously, but I do baby.  I don’t want to lose you,” he explained as we kissed again as someone near us cleared their throat.

“You’re not going to lose me,” I replied as he sighed and then shook his head.  “When he talks the crap he talks, I take him seriously for a few minutes and then I let those thoughts flow from my mind.”

“Why would you do something like that?  He’s crazy baby,” he said as he placed his hands on my shoulders.

“I’m not scared of him baby because I know he won’t do anything to me.  He knows that if he does something to me, Mom will do something worse to him.  Hell, anything he can do to me, he’ll have to deal with her and she’ll do probably ten times worse,” I said as he frowned.  “The last time he actually hit me, she shot him.”

“Damn baby,” he said as I smiled.

“So, that’s why I don’t take his threats too seriously,” I said as we walked towards the exit doors.  “Now if Mom happens to disappear or something, then I have something to worry about.”

“Alright then, let’s go grab some lunch and then head on home,” he suggested as I shook my head.

“No, why don’t we stay here and have lunch with the boys,” I suggested as he smiled this time as we walked towards the building that Caleb and Mason were in.

“I love you, baby,” he said as we held hands, walking through the courtyard of the school.  “It seems like a beautiful day out.”

“When I’m with you, it’s always a beautiful day baby,” I replied as we stood under a tree.

“You say the sweetest things,” he said as a bell rang and we heard kids clamoring about.  “We’re about to be graced with the pitter patter of little feet.”

“Well at least we’re not talking about your grandmother this time,” I said as he looked at me strangely as we both laughed out.  “There are the boys, let’s join them.”

To Be Continued…

If I Ain’t Got You – Chapter 10

Chapter 10 — Things Slow to a Screeching Halt  

Dec 30, 2002 – Orlando, FL – Florida Hospital — The Parking Garage

“Justin… Justin Tanner,” Kasai replied as he looked down as Mark looked up and then around.

“Justin Tanner?  Am I missing something here?  Kai, he’s a guy,” Mark stated as he rubbed at his head.

“See!  I told you that you wouldn’t understand!”  Kasai snapped as he tried to pull away from Mark.  “I’m gay Daddy Mark, I’m gay.”

“Are… are you sure about that buddy?” Mark asked as he looked at Kasai closely.

“Yeah, I’m totally sure about that.  That’s the only thing I’m sure about now-a-days,” Kasai replied as he wiped his face on his shirtsleeve.

“Okay Kai… I’m good with that if you’re gay,” Mark stated as he looked down and then back at Kasai.  “Be honest with me here.  Have you had sex with someone?”

“I—I don’t want to answer that question Daddy Mark,” Kasai replied as he looked down again.

“Why don’t you want to answer that question boy?  It sounds like you’ve already done the deed already,” Mark said with a sigh.  “I don’t understand Kai, what about Lisa?”

“Things have changed Daddy Mark.  I don’t have the same feelings for her anymore,” Kasai replied with a frown.

“Did… Is it something me and your Dad did?”  Mark asked as he removed his hand from Kasai’s back.

“You and Daddy didn’t do anything,” Kasai replied as he looked at Mark strangely.  “What are you talking about?”

“Is seeing me and your Dad together… is that corrupting you?”  Mark asked as he looked down.

“What!  No, you and Daddy have nothing to do with my feelings,” Kasai stated as he shook his head.

“Then why are you standing here, telling me that you’re gay all of a sudden?  You can’t just wake up one day and say that you’re gay Kai,” Mark said as he threw his hands up.

“Daddy Mark… oh what’s the use,” Kasai said as he pushed Mark away from him and then took off running.

“Kasai!  Kasai, come back here!”  Mark screamed out.  “Oh great, what have I just done?”

The Home of Angela Sebastian

“Kevin, I’ve changed my mind,” Angela spoke as she walked back into the room, wearing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

“You’ve changed your mind about what?”  Kevin asked, standing up.

“I think I would rather stay in tonight,” Angela replied as Kevin ran a hand through his hair.

“Okay Angela, I—I guess I should leave then,” Kevin responded with a frown.

“You don’t have to, but if you want you can,” Angela stated as she picked up the phone on the counter.  “I’m going to call and have some food delivered.  You’re welcomed to stay and chat with…”

“Are you sure about that Angela?”  Kevin asked, watching Angela’s facial expression.

“I’m sure Kevin, but the choice is totally yours though.  You can sit here and get to know me or you can go find that Joshua guy and let him hang all over you like a cheap suit.  It’s your decision Kevin,” Angela sarcastically said with a stern look as Kevin winced at her words.

“Angela, please…” Kevin said as she shook her head.

“Please what,” Angela said as she looked over at him.  “I’m totally confused with you.  Why don’t you tell me the truth?”

“Angela…” Kevin started as Angela interrupted him.

“Come on Kevin, tell me the truth here.  I still have this aching feeling that you’re not being totally honest with me about things,” Angela stated as she pointed the phone at him.

“Angela, I’m being honest with you.  There’s nothing to worry about here. I want to get to know you and see what can possibly happen between the two of us,” Kevin stated, sighing with a frown on his face as Angela waved the phone at him in a threatening manner.

“I don’t think you’ve been completely upfront with me here.  My women’s intuition is telling me that you and that Joshua guy had some kind of relationship at some point in the past,” Angela stated as she shook her head and then waved the phone at him again.

“Okay Angela, I’ve said my peace here.  You can either believe me or not,” Kevin stated as he turned and grabbed his jacket.

“Yes, you said your peace Kevin, but I believe you’ve left out a few pieces of the story.  Like the stuff you told me about your friend Nick.  If he’s gay, then I’m quite sure you can be implicated too, with the things I saw in the hospital lobby earlier.  All this stuff is telling me that you’re gay or at least bisexual,” Angela stated as she crossed her arms across her chest as Kevin winced again.

“Could we please just stop talking about this?”  Kevin asked, his cheeks reddening with each passing moment.

“Fine, it’s a touchy subject for you then.  We can talk about something else,” Angela stated as she looked at Kevin with squinted eyes.  “Why don’t you tell me about the relationship you and Nick didn’t have.”

“Say what?”  Kevin said with a sigh.  “What do you mean?”

“I want you to tell me about the relationship that you and Nick didn’t have,” Angela stated.

“We didn’t have a relationship,” Kevin replied with a frown.  “We’re only friends, almost like brothers.”

“I can understand that, but Nick wanted more from you,” Angela stated as she walked over to the fireplace, grabbed the fire poker as Kevin’s eyes widened as she pushed some wood logs around in the fireplace.

“Angela…” Kevin spoke as Angela kept using the fire poker to move the logs around in the fireplace and then she placed it back in it’s holder.

“Kevin, your past doesn’t really matter to me.  I just don’t want to get hurt in the end.  He’s in love with you and I’m sure that Joshua guy is in love with you too.  That’s enough to make any woman think you have a shaky past,” Angela stated as she turned around and then looked at Kevin.

“Well considering that I’m here with you and not with him or Nick, what does that tell you?”  Kevin asked as he looked at her.  “You saw me push him away when he kissed me and you heard the stuff I said to him.  Isn’t that enough for you Angela?”

“I don’t really know Kevin.  I don’t fully know what I’m getting myself into here with you.  I feel like you’re hiding a great deal from me, but you basically seem like someone that I would be happy with, but would you be happy with me?  Can you honestly answer that question Kevin?”  Angela asked, walking over and looking him in the face.

“You’re a nice and beautiful woman, of course I would be happy with you,” Kevin answered.

“Do I have the right equipment for you?”  Angela asked as she continued looking him in the face.

“What’s that supposed to mean Angela?”  Kevin asked with a sigh.

“It means just what it means Kevin.  Do I have the right equipment for you?  Is it really a woman that you want to be with?”  Angela asked as she took a seat as Kevin sighed again and then took a seat next to her as she looked at him strangely.

“I refuse to answer that question, mainly because it’s a stupid one,” Kevin stated.  “Do you want me to stay here with you or do you prefer it better if I left?”

“I would like it if you stayed, but Kevin you have to promise me that you won’t hurt me,” Angela stated as she looked him in the face again.

“That’s something I can’t promise you Angela.  I don’t think anyone would be able to make that kind of promise to you or anyone else for that matter,” Kevin stated as he stood up, grabbed his jacket again, pulling it on as he headed towards the door.

“Where are you going Kevin?”  Angela asked as she stood up quickly.

“I think I better just go.  I don’t think this was such a good idea,” Kevin answered her as he opened the door and then walked out.

Florida Hospital – Nick’s Hospital Room

“Aaron, where’s your brother?”  Janet asked, walking into the room as Aaron opened his eyes and looked up at her.  “I just got a call from someone here, telling me that he hasn’t been here for some time.”

“He’s downstairs in that patio thing,” Aaron replied, yawning as he rubbed at his eyes.

“And you left him down there?”  Janet asked, walking over to Aaron and popping him on the top of his head as she glared at him.  “Are you out of your mind?”

“No Mom, he told me to leave him alone, so I left him alone,” Aaron replied with a frown.

“What!  In his current condition, he doesn’t need to be left alone!  You know he could possibly do something to hurt himself while he’s by himself,” Janet stated as she shook her head.

“He’s not alone, Justin’s with him in there,” Aaron replied as he opened the magazine that sat on his lap and then flipped the pages.

“What?  You left him with Justin Tanner?  Why did you do that Aaron?”  Janet asked as she shook her head again.

“Because I think Justin can help him Mom.  I told you how he was in the therapy session.  As soon as he saw Justin and heard Justin’s voice, he was trying to snap out of it,” Aaron replied as he got up.  “I think Justin can help him out.  If he can, let him.”

“How so Aaron?”  Janet asked, looking at Aaron strangely.

“Dang Mom, Nick’s gay and so is Justin.  They’ve been through a lot of crap lately and I think they need each other,” Aaron stated as he continued looking through the magazine in his hand.

“Aaron…” Janet said, not actually knowing what to say.

“Just let things happen Mom and don’t interfere with them,” Aaron said as he walked out of the room.

“Aaron, where do you think you’re going?”  Janet asked, walking to the room door.

“I need some air,” Aaron replied as he rolled his eyes and continued walking down the hall.

The First Floor – The Hospital Veranda

Justin’s POV

I feel so content right now… now that I’m here with Nick and he has his head lying in my lap.  I know he might think I pity him, but I don’t.  Pity is the farthest thing from my mind right now.  I don’t pity him, I think I’m falling for him.

We’ve been out here for a bit and the things we’ve talked about, I’m a bit concerned.  From what he said earlier, he’s gone through a lot lately and I know that feeling all too well.  I just don’t know what to say about what his friend Brian did to him.  How could he do that to someone he’s supposed to care about?  I know how Jamie and Chrissy reacted when they found out what Dan had done to me, but in Nick’s case, that’s totally different.  Brian was his best friend, Dan wasn’t anything to me, just a stranger in passing.  When we first started talking, I got angry.  If I could, I would’ve hunted Brian down and kicked his ass for what he did to this beautiful man.  I was taught to never wish death upon someone, but to force yourself on someone as innocent as Nick is just wrong.  This beautiful angel deserves better than that.  I just wish I were able to give him all that he really needs.

“Nick, Nick wake up,” I whispered to him as I kissed the side of his face.

“Huh, what’s going on?”  He asked, sitting up quickly and then looking around as he wrapped his arms around me.

“You fell asleep,” I replied as I held his hand in mine.  “How do you feel?”

“I—I feel okay Justin.  I feel a little bit better now,” he replied, hugging me tightly.  “How long have we been here?”

“I don’t really know.  I think I’ve been here about two hours or so.  I’m guessing you were here longer than me, being that you were out here before I knew you were,” I told him with a smile.  “I think I’ll ask someone to bring me a watch so I can keep better track of the time around this place.”

“Who cares about the time?  I have you here with me and I could care less about that,” he said as the door opened as JT and Steve walked out to where we were.

“So here you are,” JT stated with a stern look on his face.  “You know your mother is having a fit about you.  She’s been flipping out about you being missing for the last couple of hours.”

“That’s Ma for you,” I said as he shook his head and then smiled.  “I should’ve told someone I was coming out here.  I just wanted to get away and be by myself.”

“Well it seems you’re not by yourself right now.  How are you doing?”  JT asked as the smile on his face flattened out a bit.

“Okay, just keeping my new friend here company,” I replied, grabbing Nick’s hand and then kissing the top of it.

“Hello Mr. Canton,” JT spoke.  “I just got a call from Janet Canton, trying to find out where her son was.  I assured her that you were okay.  I assume she has calmed down some by now.”

“I hope she has, I’m happy right now and I want to stay that way,” Nick responded as he looked up at JT.  “Who are you?”

“I’m JT, I’m Justin’s physical therapist and counselor,” JT answered.

“You are?  What happened to Danielle?”  I asked.

“She mainly deals with the patients that need her help.  You, on the other hand, you don’t need her help, you just need to get up off your bottom and walk,” he said with a chuckle.

“I—I thought you told me that you couldn’t walk,” Nick said as he raised his head up and looked at me with a strange look on his face.

“I can’t walk,” I said as the expression on his face turned to one of confusion.

“But he just said…” Nick said as I cut him off.

“I can’t walk right now, but I might be able to regain the ability to walk again one day.  I just have to work at it,” I told him as the look on his face changed back to a happy one as he smiled again.

“Okay, for a second there, I thought you were lying to me,” he said, leaning close and kissing me on the cheek.

“Excuse me, are you two romantically linked?”  JT asked as he sat down in the lounge chair across from us.

“I think we are,” I replied, turning to look at Nick.

“Only if he wants me, like I want him,” Nick spoke as he looked down at our entwined fingers.

“You know I want you, that’s something you never have to wonder about,” I told him as I leaned over and kissed his lips as he blushed.

“Well I hate to cut this short, but I have to get you two back to your rooms,” JT stated as Steve walked over, motioned with his head and then helped me back into my wheelchair.

“Please JT, don’t do this right now.  Can I stay a little longer with Nick?”  I asked, wishing that he would let me.

“Right now, you can’t do that,” he stated as feelings of anger and sadness flooded my body.  “The only thing I can suggest is that you two take this up to your room.”

“He can come up to my room?”  I asked, the feeling of happiness replacing my other emotions.

“Yes, but I must warn you though that your mother is there and she’s a little bit worried about you right now,” he said as I looked down.  “She might not agree with this right off hand.”

“Well the way I feel right now, she’s going to have to deal with it or else,” I said as he smiled and then shook his head.  “I just fond Nick and I’m not letting him get away from me.”

“Don’t worry about me Justin, I’m not going to get away from you,” Nick stated as he kissed me on the cheek as Steve patted me on the back and then started pushing me towards the door.  “I’ll be thinking about you Justin.”

“I’ll be thinking about you too Nick,” I said as we exited the room.

Orange County Police Department – Holding Area

Brian’s POV

“Look man, I don’t care what the deal is, get your ass down here and get me out of this place!  I’ve been waiting here for almost a week!”  I screamed, talking on the phone with my friend Alex.

“I’m sorry Brian, but there’s nothing I can do right now.  You’re stuck until your hearing,” Alex replied.

“I’m not playing here.  You need to get your ass up and come bail me out of this place,” I said, looking around the area, noticing the other men that watched me.

“I’m sorry Brian, I can’t come get you.  You should’ve thought about what you were doing before you did it.  You’re staying put, until your court hearing.  I hope the judge throws the fucking book at you!”  Alex screamed as I held the phone away from my ear.

“What the fuck!  I told you I didn’t do anything!  It’s all a lie, a bold face lie!”  I yelled as the jailer opened the door to the cell, walked in and then grabbed the phone from my hand.  “Hey, I wasn’t finished!”

“You are now,” the jailer said as he hung up the phone, saluted, walked out and then closed the door back as he smiled.  “Next time you get the opportunity to use the phone, act a bit more civil.”

“Whatever,” I said as he walked away.

“Hey guy, what you in for?”  One of the guys behind me asked.

“I’m here for nothing,” I replied as the guy smiled, shook his head and then motioned with his head at the bench for me to sit down as I moved away from him.  “I didn’t do anything wrong to be put in here.  I don’t belong in here.  Those damn bozos locked me up because someone can’t handle the fucking truth.”

“We all got arrested for some bullshit reason or another,” the guy said, eyeing me like he wanted to take a bite.  “I’m Trent, you are?”

“None of your business,” I spoke, moving away from him again.

“Fuck you man.  I was only trying to be polite and make conversation to pass the time,” the guy said as he shook his head and shot me the bird.

“You can be polite over there, just stay the fuck away from me,” I said, moving again as the guy followed me around the damn room, stopping at each bench I stopped at until he slugged me in the face.

“You stuck-up, fucking twat, you’re on the inside now.  Who’s going to protect your preppy ass now?  I can’t stand you snobbish, preppy boy types that think you’re better than everybody, you ain’t better than anybody, you’re common just like the rest of us in here,” the guy said as he got up in my face as I rubbed at my nose.  “I ought to kick your ass right now and then take you as my bitch!  You’re one of the cute ones.  I bet you have a nice cherry ass that’s begging to be fucked.”

“Guard!  Guard!  Help me!  Someone help me!   I need to get out of here!”  I screamed out as the man approached me again.

“Shut up Lang!  I’m not going to tell you again!”  The jailer yelled from down the corridor.

“I need help man!”  I screamed again as the guy jumped on me, holding me down to the floor as he struggled to get my pants down.

“Shut up like the pig said.  Let’s see what you’re hiding under that jumpsuit,” he said as he held my head against the floor hard, still trying to get my pants down.  “I think I want to test you out right now.  It’s just you and me here; I think I need a work out.”

“No, please don’t!”  I screamed out the best I could as he continued to hold my head against the floor.

As he continued holding me down on the floor, the lights went out in the cell and some in various places down the corridor.  Damn it!  It’s dark in here and I can barely see a damn thing except for that little bit of light that shown in from the corridor, that allowed me to see a bit of his shadow moving.  When I heard a cell door close, I started to panic.  Did the damn jailer just leave completely?  Am I in here all alone with this fucker?  The next thing I knew, the guy had unzipped the zipper on his jumpsuit and then he yanked my pants the rest of the way down as he held my arms behind my back.

“Hot damn,” the guy said as I felt him using his finger to play with my hole.  “You have a nice puckered hole there boy.  It feels like it wants to be fucked.”

“Leave me alone please,” I begged as I continued to struggle to get away from him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave you alone after I’ve sprayed your insides with my nuts,” the man said as he pulled me up into a doggy-style position as he spat on my ass.  “That should take care of that pretty boy.  This should only hurt for a minute or two, maybe three.”

“Please don’t do this man, just let me up and we can act like none of this ever happened,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t do this and he would just stop as I felt the tears sliding down my face.

“Oh come on, you’ll love the feel of my dick pounding your ass pussy boy.  You better get used to it.  From what I see, you’ll be getting this kind of treatment on the regular,” the man said as intense pain enveloped me as he slid his dick into my ass as he covered my mouth with his other hand.  “Oh yeah boy, you got a tight man-pussy on you.  This is going to be good.”

The guy continued to pound in and out of my ass as if he didn’t care that he was hurting me.  Is this what everyone has been trying to tell me?  Is this what it’s like?  Is this what I did?  All I could think about was how I had treated Nick before.  The very thing I had done to him, was now being done to me.  I guess this is what people mean by karma.

Florida Hospital – Nick’s Hospital Room

Nick’s POV

I’m currently back in my room with the JT guy and he’s trying to explain to mom about where I’ve been.  Like always, she isn’t trying to listen to what’s being said.  Apparently, she acts the same way, regardless of who it is talking.  Damn, I feel so empty, now that Justin’s not with me.  Was that all just a dream for me or are things with Justin real?

It’s been thirty minutes and Mom’s bitching the JT guy out because she feels that the hospital doesn’t have adequate security here in place for me.  I wish she would just shut the hell up and go home or something.  Her being here is putting more strain on me, than it is for everybody else.  Mom’s one of the reasons I have problems in my life.  Because of her and sometimes dad, they always tend to judge me because of my so-called lifestyle.  Being gay is a part of me, not a sin that they don’t believe in.  I wonder how they’ll react when they find out that Aaron is just as gay as I am…

“What would you people have done if he hurt himself somewhere in the hospital?”  Mom asked as she placed her hands on her hips and then stood in front of him.

“Mom, please just be quiet, I’m really okay.  I’m not hurt in any way,” I said, walking over to where she and JT were.  “There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m fine.  Now could you please stop this bickering, it’s starting to get on my nerves, he’s a doctor for Christ’s sake.”

“Technically, I’m not a doctor,” JT stated, raising his hand, trying to diffuse the situation.  “I’m a counselor and a physical therapist.”

“I don’t care what your so-called official title is.  If this place had adequate security, my son wouldn’t have been missing for almost four hours,” Mom stated with a frown.

“Mom, I wasn’t missing, I was downstairs on the patio,” I told her.

“No one else knew that,” Mom said as Aaron stood up.

“I told you where he was when you got here,” Aaron stated as he shook his head, sighed and then threw his hands up.  “Just drop all of this Mom.  Nick’s right here and as you can see, he’s in a good mood.”

“Stay out of this Aaron, adults are talking here,” Mom stated as she turned back to JT.  “As I was saying, what’s going to be done to make sure that this doesn’t happen again?”

“It sounds like you want them to tag me as if I was a dog!”  I snapped as she turned and looked at me.

“Mrs. Canton, from my viewpoint, nothing happened here.  Nick decided to take a walk.  I think him walking around is a good thing, it helps clear the mind,” JT stated with a small smile as she glared at him.

“Do you also think it’s good for him being with that Justin Tanner guy?”  Mom asked, getting right on to the point of her hatred of my so-called sin.

“Mrs. Canton, I have nothing to do with Nick’s personal relationship matters.  If he wants to associate with Mr. Tanner, then there’s nothing I can say or do about that,” JT stated as his cell phone rang.  “Excuse me, I need to take this.”

“We’re not done here, not by a long shot,” Mom said as JT moved over to the corner of the room to talk on his phone.

To Be Continued…

If I Ain’t Got You – Chapter 9

Chapter 9 – A New Beginning

Dec 30, 2002 – Orlando, FL – Florida Hospital — A Veranda on the First Floor

Nick stood at the railing, looking out into the night as Aaron sighed once more as a few tears fell from his eyes as he shook his head. Opening the door, Aaron looked at Nick once more and then walked back into the hospital, giving Nick the privacy he wanted.

“God, here I am again. My life is at a stand-still it seems. Where do I actually go from here?” Nick asked, rubbing at his eyes as more tears came. “He hurt me, he hurt me badly. He doesn’t love me. If he could do something so horrid and vile as that to me, there’s no love in his heart for me. Love isn’t supposed to hurt.”

Nick turned around and walked further into the veranda as he continued crying, watching his reflection in the window, not noticing that there was someone else in the area with him. Getting to a row of seats, Nick stopped and prepared to sit down, but changed his mind.

“Come on God, help me out here. The very thing that I want, why can’t I get it? Why God, why am I doomed to be like this?” Nick asked as he walked over to a door that led outside. “God, when are you going to send a man to love me, that won’t hurt or use me? I would love to have a man that would love me for…”

“Were you actually expecting to get an answer?” Nick heard someone say as he turned around to see Justin Tanner in the room with him.

“Ju—Justin… Justin Tanner, what’re you doing here?” Nick asked, walking over to where Justin was. “Justin, why are you sitting in a wheelchair? Are you sick?”

“I—I was in an accident Nick,” Justin replied, motioning for Nick to sit down.

“You were in an accident? Damn, what happened to you Justin?” Nick asked, taking a seat in the chair next to Justin as he moved it around a bit.

“Well the short and sweet version of things is that I was trying to get away from someone. I was upset and wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, while driving in a car and I collided with another car. I lost consciousness and when I woke up again, I was here and I was told that I wouldn’t be able to walk again,” Justin explained as Nick looked down.

“Oh God Justin, I’m so sorry,” Nick responded as he leaned in and hugged Justin, lingering close to him a bit.

“It was my own fault. I should’ve been paying attention to what was going on around me, instead of letting my anger over what Josh was doing, push me to run away the way I did,” Justin said as he shook his head and then covered his mouth.

“What do you mean Justin? Why were you trying to run away from Josh? What did he do? I thought you two were best friends,” Nick said as he looked at Justin closely.

“We were the best of friends at one point, but he…(<sniffle>)… he did something to hurt me. I—I couldn’t stand to be around him anymore,” Justin said as he looked away from Nick.

“What did he do to you Justin?” Nick asked, reaching out with his hand, touching Justin’s face quickly and then pulled his hand back.

“He lied and betrayed my trust in him. He hurt my feelings,” Justin said as some tears streamed down his face.

“I’m sorry Justin, I didn’t mean to bring that up,” Nick said as he entwined his fingers with Justin’s. “I shouldn’t have asked that.”

“It’s okay Nick. I have to deal with it again anyway,” Justin said with a frown. “I have to deal with my problems first hand or they’ll destroy me in the end.”

“Destroy you how Justin?” Nick asked, rubbing Justin’s hand.

“Our whole relationship was nothing but a lie. He lied, he cheated on me, with men and women both. Hell, he even cheated with someone that had hurt me in the worst way,” Justin said as sniffled as the tears streamed down his face. “I loved him and he just threw our love away.”

“I—I’m so sorry Justin. I’m sorry that he didn’t love you enough to cherish you,” Nick said, moving Justin’s hand up to his mouth and kissing the top of it. “If you were my boyfriend, I would cherish you Justin. I would show you the love you deserve.”

“Nick…” Justin stuttered as Nick pulled his chair closer to him.

“Don’t cry Justin. I know things are not going great for you, but they aren’t going great for me either,” Nick said as the tears fell from his eyes also.

“That was so sweet,” Justin said as he wiped at his eyes. “Nick?”

“Yes Justin,” Nick spoke as he looked into Justin’s eyes.

“Why are you here in the hospital?” Justin asked, looking down, not wanting Nick to see the hurt in his eyes, being that he already knew partially of why Nick was there, but wanted him to tell him.

“I—I’m not happy Justin. I’m alone and I—I don’t want to live anymore,” Nick answered as he gasped and then looked down again. “I’ve been unhappy for a very long time and so far, things in my life are depressing me.”

“Why aren’t you happy Nick? Why don’t you want to live?” Justin asked, looking at Nick.

“I have so much love to give, but no one to give it to. Every time I give my love to someone, that someone pushes my love away,” Nick said as he sniffled.

“Shhh, it’s going to be okay. I know how you feel in that department,” Justin said as he rubbed Nick’s hand in his own. “It’s going to be okay Nick.”

“It’s not going to be okay Justin. I will always be alone,” Nick said as he pulled away from Justin, got up and then walked back over towards the windows.

“Yes it will Nick. Whether you know it or not, the answer to your problems are right under your nose and you don’t even know it,” Justin said as he moved up behind Nick, with a hopeful smile on his face.

“Yeah right Justin. I don’t have any answers to my problems. I have too many of them to count,” Nick spoke as he starred out the window. “I’m fat and ugly Justin. My appearance is revolting to most. Men look at me and then run in the opposite direction.”

“That’s not true Nick, not true at all,” Justin said with a frown.

“Trust me Justin, it’s the truth. The only thing that men see in me is sex and a quick way of getting fame. The men I’ve been with, they only used me to have sex and when they got tired of me, they dropped me like a bad habit and then ran away and acted as though I was lower than trash when they saw me again,” Nick stated as he slid down the wall to the floor as he continued to cry. “Men don’t want me for something special, they just want one thing and one thing only it seems.”

“That’s not true Nick,” Justin said again as he sniffled.

“Stop trying to make me feel better Justin, it’s the truth. All the men in my life have used me. Hell, even Brian used me, raped me and then threw me away for a woman when he was tired of me,” Nick said as he heard Justin gasp at the sound of what he’d just said.

“Oh God, so he was the one that raped you. I’m so sorry Nick. I’m soooo sorry,” Justin said as he reached for Nick, but Nick pulled away.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Nick said as he pulled his knees up to his chest as he wrapped his arms around his legs and continued to softly cry.

“I’m sorry Nick, I’m not going to hurt you,” Justin said as the tears streamed down his face as he realized how helpless he was at that moment.

“Just leave me alone Justin, I need to be alone,” Nick said as he shook his head and then wiped at his tears.

“I’m not going to leave you here like this Nick. I like you and I don’t want to see you like this,” Justin said as he sniffled. “Come on.”

“No Justin, just leave me alone,” Nick spoke, his voice trembling.

“Come here Nick,” Justin spoke.

“Just leave me alone Justin,” Nick replied, his voice still trembling.

“Come here Nick!” Justin demanded.

“No Justin, just leave me alone,” Nick said as he shook his head.

“Please Nick, I want to help you. Please come here to me,” Justin begged as he moved over to the couch that was nearby.

Justin’s POV

Poor Nick, he’s been through a whole lot lately. Here I am, feeling sorry for myself and here he is, trying to hold all the stuff that’s happened to him, all on the inside. I wish he would just come over here with me. I so want to hold him and take his pain away. I know how he feels about the rape and I don’t want him to hurt like that.

Damn Brian! That bastard needs his ass kicked and his dick cut off and buried some place. If I could walk, I would hunt his horrible ass down and then kick his ass all over this place! He needs to rot in hell for all that he’s done to Nick. Nick didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Shoot, no one deserves to be treated like that. Rape is a very horrid thing to do to a person.

“Come on Nick, please come over here, I need you,” I said, looking in Nick’s direction. “Please Nick, please let me help you. I promise, I won’t hurt you.”

“No Justin, I can’t… Just leave me alone here,” he said, lying down next to the window.

“I already told you Nick, I’m not going to leave you alone here. If you want me to leave you alone, first come over here and tell me to leave you alone,” I said, hoping that would get him to come closer to me.

“Why are you doing this Justin?” He asked, watching me as he stood up and then moved towards me as I got out of the wheelchair and then slid over to the sofa, panting hard as I sat back, happy that I didn’t feel in the process. JT’s going to be happy to know that I actually got out of that thing without hurting myself. Yay me.

“I want to help you Nick,” I said, trying to catch my breath.

“Fine,” he said, walking towards me. “I don’t want to talk anymore Justin, just leave me alone here please.”

“Sorry, I’m not going to leave you alone, it’s not that easy Nick,” I told him, grabbing him by the arm as I pulled him down to me. “You’re going to sit here with me. I’m not going to let anything else happen to you.”

“Justin please…” he said, looking at me with sadness in his eyes.

“Nick…” I said, leaning in and kissing his lips. “I’m not going to leave you Nick. I’ll be here with you, for as long as I can be. I don’t want to leave you Nick and I know you don’t want me to leave you. Just sit here with me.”

“Justin,” he said as I leaned in and kissed his lips again.

“Nothing Nick, we’re here right now, so just enjoy the moment, no words,” I told him as he lay his head down in my lap as I ran my fingers through his hair.

Across Town – The Home of Angela Sebastian – The Living Room

“You have some explaining to do Kevin. What happened with you two?” Angela asked as she sat down across from Kevin.

“Please Angela, that’s something I really don’t want to get into,” Kevin replied as he shook his head.

“That’s something you don’t want to get into? You better get into something, before I kick you out of here!” Angela snapped as she stood up.

“Please Angela, that’s a part of my life that’s a little bit complicated,” Kevin stated, shaking his head.

“Complicated? How complicated is it Kevin?” Angela asked.

“It’s complicated enough that I don’t even know how to handle it,” Kevin replied as he looked away from her.

“Are—are you gay Kevin?” Angela asked, folding her arms across her chest as she tapped her foot, watching him closely.

“No, I’m not gay,” Kevin replied, still not meeting her gaze.

“But he was all over you like a cheap ass suit,” Angela said as she shook her head, pacing back and forth in front of him. “You kissed him.”

“I didn’t kiss him, he walked up and kissed me,” Kevin stated, looking over at her. “Before I noticed you were there, you should’ve seen me push him away. It’s not what you were thinking…”

“What am I supposed to be thinking Kevin? We talk, you tell me some personal things about you and your friend that happens to be in the hospital where I work, you kiss me on the cheek and then you ask me out to dinner with you,” Angela said as she stopped pacing and then shook her head. “When it’s time to go to dinner, I see you in the lobby with a guy, kissing all over you like he was your man or something. Talk to me here Kevin… I want to know what’s going on.”

“I—I know how it looked, but I promise you, I want nothing to do with him,” Kevin spoke with a frown.

“I hope you’re not lying to me Kevin, if you are, I would hate to be you,” Angela stated as she walked down the hall. “I’m going to shower. I’ll be out shortly and then I’ll be ready to go.”

“I’ll be here, waiting patiently for you Angela,” Kevin replied as he sat down in the chair and held his face in his hand. “That was close. How am I going to break that part of my life to her? I like her and want to be around her, but my past is still out there. Sooner or later, it’ll all hit the fan and she’ll hate me for it.”

Almost 9 PM – Florida Hospital – The First Floor Veranda

“Justin… Justin, are you out here?” Kasai called out as he walked out into the veranda. “Hello, is there anyone here?”

“Shhh, he’s sleeping,” Justin whispered as Kasai approached the area where he and Nick sat, Kasai noticing that Justin was running his fingers through Nick’s hair.

“I’m sorry Justin; I wasn’t trying to disturb anyone,” Kasai whispered as he looked around and then back to Justin. “You do know that everyone’s looking for you. Daddy and your mom thinks something bad has happened to you somewhere in the hospital. Your mom actually thinks you’ve run away from here or something.”

“No, I’m okay here, nothing’s wrong with me. It seems everything is starting to look a bit better in my life right now,” Justin declared, looking down at Nick as he smiled brightly.

“Is he okay?” Kasai asked, motioning with his head at Nick. “Did something happen to him?”

“He fell asleep,” Justin answered as he sighed. “We were just sitting out here talking.”

“You two were talking out here?” Kasai said as he looked at Justin strangely.

“Yeah, we were just talking about the current events in our lives,” Justin answered.

“Okay then, you two sit tight. I’m going to call Daddy and let him know where you are so they can call off the search,” Kasai stated as he got up and then walked towards the door.

Sighing, Kasai turned and looked back at Justin and Nick and then shook his head. Walking back into the hospital, he walked towards the nurses’ station with a sad expression on his face as a few tears fell from his eyes.

“Damn it to hell… He’s found Nick and likes him,” Kasai said to himself as he walked down the hall, wiping at his eyes. “There goes my shot with Justin.”

“What did you say little man?” Steve asked as he walked up to Kasai. “Are you okay little man?”

“I—I didn’t say nothing,” Kasai responded quickly. “Justin’s in the veranda back there with Nick Canton. You can call Daddy and let him know that information. I’m outta here.”

“Kasai, are you okay?” Steve asked as he grabbed Kasai’s hand, trying to stop him from walking away.

“I’m fine!” Kasai snapped as he snatched his hand away from Steve and then ran down the hall, crying.

“What in the hell was that all about? Kasai! Kasai, come back here!” Steve called out as he ran down the hall after Kasai.

“No Steve, leave me alone! I just want to be left alone right now,” Kasai responded as he walked through the doors that led outside.

“Come back here little man, what’s wrong with you?” Steve asked as he looked at Kasai, trying to get in front of him to stop him from walking.

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” Kasai replied as he sighed and then sat down on one of the benches.

“Oh there’s definitely something wrong here. Talk to me kiddo,” Steve said as he sat down next to Kasai. “What’s going on here? What was that back there in the hospital?”

“I just told you that there’s nothing wrong Steve, I’m totally fine!” Kasai snapped as he burst into tears. “Everything’s wrong!”

“What’s the matter?” Steve asked, hugging Kasai.

“Nothing, everything,” Kasai responded through his tears as he looked down at the ground.

“Come on kiddo, you’re not making any sense here,” Steve said, rubbing Kasai’s back. “Does this have anything to do with what you saw in the veranda with Justin and Nick?”

“No, yes,” Kasai replied and then shook his head.

“You’re really confusing me here kiddo. Which one is it, yes or no?” Steve asked, looking at Kasai closely.

“Yeah, it has something to do with what I saw,” Kasai relied with a frown.

“What was it that you saw back there with Justin and Nick?” Steve asked as he looked at Kasai closely.

“I—I like Justin… I wish I was the one he likes,” Kasai spoke as he held his head down and then wiped at his eyes.

“Sorry little man, but you’re way too young for Justin. You know he’s a full grown man,” Steve stated as he draped his arm over Kasai’s shoulder.

“That doesn’t matter, I love him,” Kasai replied just as Mark walked into the area.

“You love who?” Mark asked as he walked over to where Kasai and Steve sat. “Did you say ‘I love him’ ? Who is this him that you love?”

“Oh God,” Kasai responded as he pulled away from Steve, got up from the bench and then took off running in the opposite direction.

“Oh great, that ended well,” Steve said as he rolled his eyes and then stood up.

“What’s going on here Steve?” Mark asked.

“He’s upset Mark,” Steve answered as he shook his head.

“Upset about what? What did you do to my son?” Mark asked as he glared at Steve.

“I didn’t do anything to him. He’s upset about something and right now, I suggest you go talk to him to find out why,” Steve suggested as Mark cut his eyes at him. “The kid is upset enough as it is. He needs someone right now to tell him that everything will be okay. Maybe he’ll open up and tell you what’s going on.”

“Maybe he’ll open up and tell me what’s going on? Why in the hell did he tell you?’ Mark asked, looking at Steve as if he were crazy.

“Yeah, maybe if you talk to him nicely and ask him, he might tell you what’s going on,” Steve replied as he shook his head.

“What’s your problem Steve? Why do we end up arguing all the fucking time?” Mark asked as he watched Steve.

“I don’t know Mark, you tell me,” Steve replied as he rolled his eyes and got ready to walk away as Mark moved in front of him, blocking his way. “Could it be that you’re an asshole?”

“Fuck you man,” Mark said as he shook his head as Steve moved around him and headed towards the hospital.

“Go find him and talk to him, that’s if you want to know what’s wrong with him,” Steve suggested as he turned and walked into the hospital.

A Few Minutes Previously – Justin’s Hospital Room

“I’m really worried here. Has there been any sign of him?” Lynn Hart asked as she walked over to where JT sat.

“None as of this moment Mrs. Hart,” JT answered as he looked down at his watch. “He couldn’t have gotten far, not without someone here in the hospital, helping him.”

“I hope he’s alright, wherever he may be… I hope he’s not somewhere hurt,” Lynn said as JT’s cell phone rang. “Where could he possibly be right now?”


“Hello, JT here,” I spoke, holding the phone up to my ear.

“Hey JT, I’ve found Justin, he’s in the veranda,” I heard Steve’s voice on the line.

“Well what are you waiting…” I said as Steve interrupted me.

“Listen, he’s here with Nick Canton,” he said as all kinds of thoughts went through my mind. What is Justin doing with Nick Canton right now? “They’re here together. Just call off the search party and let him stay here a while longer with Nick.”

“What are you trying to say Steve?” I asked as I looked over at Lynn.

“It looks to me like they’ve made a connection,” he said with a sigh. “I think something is developing between the two, don’t break it just yet. Let them have some time here.”

“Steve that’s not how things…” I said as he interrupted me again.

“This could be helping both of them. Don’t break them… this up just yet,” he said as I dawned on me what he was getting at.

“Okay, I’ll call everyone else, but you make sure you stay close by, just in case something else happens. Don’t let them out of your sight and keep them there,” I said as I closed the phone.

“Was that about Justin?” Mrs. Hart asked as Mr. Banks and his husband entered the room, followed by the young lady that seemed to always be keeping Justin company.

“I haven’t seen him at all,” Mr. Banks’ husband said with a frown.

“Neither have I,” Mr. Banks replied as he looked over at Mrs. Hart.

“You can all rest easy now. Justin’s down in the veranda,” I announced.

“Well let’s go get him,” Mrs. Hart stated, making a move towards the door as I waved my hand, stopping her.

“That’s not necessary Mrs. Hart, he’ll be brought up here later on,” I said as Mrs. Hart looked at me strangely as she crossed her arms across her chest.

“Is there something going on JT?” Mrs. Hart asked, watching me like a hawk.

“Let’s just say that he’s having a therapy session right now,” I said with a smile.

“What? He’s having a therapy session, at this time of night, you must be kidding me here,” Mrs. Hart said as she shook her head and made a move to walk towards the door.

“I’m not kidding you Mrs. Hart, he’s currently having a therapy session, but I’ll tell you more about that later on. Right now, I must go down to check to make sure things are going okay,” I said as I grabbed my things and packed them up in my backpack.

“May I come along?” Mrs. Hart asked, still watching me like a hawk. “I don’t care what he’s doing; I just want to make sure he’s okay.”

“I think it would be best if you just stayed here for right now,” I said, moving towards the door. “Justin should be back here very shortly.”

“I—okay JT, I guess I’ll stay here,” Mrs. Hart replied as she sat down in the chair next to Justin’s bed.

“Thank you Mrs. Hart,” I replied as I left the room to go find out what was really going on with Justin Tanner and Nick Canton.

Outside – The Parking Garage

“Kai! Kai! What in the hell is wrong with you?” Mark Walden asked as he grabbed Kasai by his arm, stopped him from walking and spun him around to face him.

“Just leave me alone Daddy Mark, just go away,” Kasai said, turning around quickly as he made a move to walk away, but Mark didn’t release his grip.

“What in the world has gotten into you boy? I’m not going away. What in the world is going on? You’ve been acting strange for the last couple of days. Are you in some kind of trouble?” Mark asked as Kasai tried to walk away from him as Mark forced him to turn back to him.

“No, I’m not in any trouble! Just leave me alone, please,” Kasai said as he broke down crying in front of Mark.

“Kai, what’s wrong? What’s going on? Why are you crying?” Mark asked as he pulled Kasai close and held him to his chest, hugging him.

“You—you won’t understand, you just won’t understand,” Kasai said as he continued to cry.

“What won’t I understand son? Just talk to me buddy, tell me what’s going on here,” Mark said as he rubbed Kasai’s back.

“I can’t, I just can’t,” Kasai replied as he sniffled.

“Look buddy, I know I haven’t been one of the easiest people to talk to lately, but I’m here for you Kai, all you have to do is talk to me,” Mark stated as he kissed the top of Kasai’s forehead.

“I—I’m in love with someone and they don’t love me,” Kasai blurted out as he continued crying on Mark’s chest.

“Lisa doesn’t love you and you love her?” Mark asked as he moved Kasai back a bit and looked him in the face.

“No, it’s not Lisa,” Kasai replied as he shook his head.

“Then who is it?” Mark asked with a confused look on his face as Kasai cried more.

To Be Continued…

The Chastayne Life – Chapter 4

Chapter 4 — The Past Comes a Knocking

Saturday Evening — Albany, NY — The Chastayne-Donovan Home – The Living Room

“Where is Kevin now baby?”  Alex asked.

“No one knows where he is,” JT replied as he looked down again.  “He’s been gone for so long, we all—we all think he’s dead.”

“That’s because he is dead,” Alex stated with a frown.  “You know as well as anyone that James isn’t going to allow any loose ends with his business.  Kevin was a very big loose end.  Right now, you’re a loose end to him and his business.  The one thing that James loves besides his family is his money and he’s not going to let you do something to cause a problem for his money.”

“I—I’m not worried about him,” JT stated as Alex shook his head again.

“You may not be worried about him, but I am baby,” Alex stated as he pulled JT into his arms.  “I love you and I don’t want to lose you.  Come on baby, I’m not ready to become a single parent here.  I along with those two boys upstairs need you.”

“You’re not going to lose me Alex,” JT stated as he leaned in and kissed Alex’s mouth.

“I hope you’re right baby,” Alex stated as he rested his head on JT’s shoulder as more of his tears fell.

Sunday Night — The Chastayne Family Estate — The Patio

“Well hello darling, how is my loving daughter doing this evening?”  Geraldine asked, walking out onto the patio as she took a seat in one of the lounge chairs.

“Hello Mother,” Ashley, the youngest daughter of the Chastayne children replied in a cold tone as she looked up from the book she browsed through.

“Why darling, why do I get the feeling that I’m treading through muddy waters, being here, talking to you right now?”  Geraldine asked.

“Did you hear what’s going on with Daddy and John?”  Ashley asked s she turned on the lounger chair to face her mother.

“What’s happened now?”  Geraldine asked as she fanned herself and then motioned with her hand, getting the butler’s attention as he walked over.  “I need a drink.”

“Yes ma’am,” the butler replied, walking over to the bar that was nearby as he picked up the Vodka bottle, filled a glass on the counter and then added some soda as he opened a box, picked up a toothpick with a cherry on it and then placed it in the glass as he carried the drink over to Geraldine, handing it to her.  “Madame.”

“Thank you,” Geraldine spoke as she turned her attention back to Ashley.  “It’s always something with the men in this family.”

“Mother, John quit the firm,” Ashley stated as Geraldine waved her hand dismissively at her.  “And then Daddy went to John’s house last night and tried to talk to him and they got into an argument or something.”

“Okay, hold the phone, what you say now?”  Geraldine asked, looking at Ashley strangely.  “They talked at the office when John walked out, but that was it.”

“No Mother, Daddy went to John’s house last night and got into a big argument with him,” Ashley stated with a mean look on her face.  “Why is Daddy always trying to start trouble with him?”

“You know how they are,” Geraldine replied as she snapped her fingers as a woman rushed over to where she sat.  “I need another drink Magdalena, make sure it’s stiffer than the one he made.”

“Yes ma’am,” the woman replied as a shadow loomed over Geraldine and Ashley.

“Whoever you are, you’re standing in the light,” Ashley stated as she turned around to see her father standing there.  “Sorry Daddy.”

“Hello Baby-girl,” James said as he leaned down and then kissed the top of Ashley’s head as he moved over to Geraldine and then kissed her lips.  “Baby, what are you doing here?  I thought you were going to be out with Dahlia and the other girls tonight.”

“Plans changed,” Geraldine stated as she looked up at James.  “So, what happened with you and John last night?  I don’t remember you telling me anything about it.”

“What are you talking about?”  James asked as Geraldine raised an eye at him.

“You know what I’m talking about James.  Don’t play dumb with me.  What happened with you two last night?”  Geraldine asked as she accepted the drink from Magdalena and then sipped it.  “Thank you, this is fine.”

“Don’t start no mess with me woman,” James stated as Ashley sighed, got up and then walked away, going into the house.

“James, I’m getting tired of this mess,” Geraldine stated as she looked up at him.  “There’s something with you every time I see you.  I’m really getting tired of playing referee between you and our children.  Enough is enough already.”

“I’ll say when it’s enough,” James stated as he looked over at Geraldine.  “We’re the parents, not them.  They walk around here, acting like they damn crazy!  I’m not going to have a child of mine, talk to me like I’m no damn body!”

“What did you expect to happen James?  You the one that had been spying on the boy,” Geraldine stated as she took a sip of her drink.  “Did you really think he was just going to be buddy-buddy with you?  He’s a grown ass man that has a life of his own, a life that you have nothing to do with.  Because you don’t agree with the things that he does, doesn’t mean you can do what you do.  There has to be boundaries James.”

“This coming from the woman that used to set up dates for her daughter and niece,” James stated as he shook his head.  “I’m not going to have you telling me how to deal with our children!”

“Either take my advice or you deal with the consequences when they cut you out of their lives,” Geraldine stated as she shook her head.  “From the sounds of things, John has already done that.”

“He can’t cut me out of his life, I’ll make him keep me in it,” James stated as Geraldine shook her head again.  “He…”

“Listen to yourself James,” Geraldine stated as she sighed.  “Do you think I enjoy being in this house with no laughter, no happiness?”

“What are you trying to say woman?”  James asked as he glared at Geraldine.

“There’s no happiness in this house James,” Geraldine replied with a frown on her face as she took another sip of her drink.  “Because of your actions, I can’t even have a relationship with my—our grandchildren.”

“What grandchildren?”  James asked as he looked at Geraldine strangely.

“Your son’s kids,” Geraldine stated as she took another sip of her drink.

“Our son doesn’t have any kids, he just have those adopted kidlets, that cause so many distractions for him, when he should be working for me,” James stated as Geraldine shook her head.

“For a man that claims he knows everything, you don’t know nothing,” Geraldine stated as she got up from the lounge chair and stood in front of James.  “Mason and Caleb are his kids, they are not adopted.”

“What do you mean they aren’t adopted?”  James asked as Geraldine shook her head and then walked past him.

“You’re a grown ass man, I’m sure you can figure it out,” Geraldine stated as she walked into the house.

“Excuse me, Mrs. Chastayne, you—you have a visitor,” a young woman spoke as she walked up to Geraldine.

“Well who is it Vivian?”  Geraldine asked as she looked at the young woman strangely.

“She—she says her name is Donna,” the young woman replied as Geraldine looked at her strangely as the young woman continued.  “She—she doesn’t seem well.”

“Where is she?”  Geraldine asked.

“She—she’s down in the study,” the young woman replied as Geraldine shook her head, handed her drink to the young woman and then she walked down the hall quickly.

The Taurus Club

“Hi there, may I help you sir?”  A woman spoke as she walked up to the man that had walked into the area.

“Your name is?”  The man asked as he looked at the woman closely.

“Sir, is there something I can help you with?”  The woman asked as she looked at the man closely.

“Why yes, you can tell me what your name is,” the man stated as the woman motioned with her head to a man that stood near the door.

“Why is my name of any concern to you?”  The woman asked as a man walked up behind the man she spoke with.

“I would like to know the name of the woman that is here in my building,” the man stated as the man that stood behind him, cleared his throat and then moved around in front of him as he stopped in his tracks and then covered his mouth quickly.

“Oh God,” the man spoke as he looked at the other man, looking as if he had seen a ghost as he shook his head and then stepped back.  “Who are you man?”

“You know who I am Dougie,” the man replied as the other man shook his head quickly and then backed up, turning to leave as the other man smiled, opened his blazer and then pulled out a gun as he aimed and then shot the man through the back of his head as he turned his attention back to the woman just as the body hit the floor and the woman covered her mouth quickly, trying to keep her scream from escaping her lips.  “Now, back to you.  Who are you and why are you in my building?”

“Oh God, you just… Ah… Well… My… Who are you?”  The woman asked as the man looked at her as if she was crazy as she took a look at the man that lay on the floor in front of her as she turned her attention back to the man that held the gun that was pointed at her.  “Please… Please don’t kill me.”

“Who are you?”  The man asked.

“My name is Janet… Janet Rayner… Please sir… Please don’t kill me,” the woman begged as she covered her chest as the man smiled at her and then lowered the gun.

“So tell me Janet… Janet Rayner, who are you working for here?”  The man asked.

“I’m not working for anyone here,” the woman replied as the man raised an eye at her and then held the gun out at her again.  “All right, I work for Mr. Chastayne… He—he owns this place, please don’t kill me!”

“If you holler like that one more time, killing you will be a reality,” the man said with a small smile as he laughed and then turned around.  “If you want to live, you’ll get your shit and come with me.”

“Go with you where?”  The woman asked as the man stopped walking and then turned back around.

“You can either come with me right now or you can stay here forever, resting in peace,” the man spoke in a cold tone as the woman’s eyes widened as she moved quickly, grabbing some things from a nearby table as she stepped over the man that lay on the floor and then stood next to the man.  “See, you see things my way.”

“Yes sir,” the woman replied as the man opened the door as the two of them walked through the doors.

“When the big man shows up to see that, he’ll know what’s up,” the man stated with a smile as the doors closed as he and the woman walked over to a waiting limo and then got in.

Half Hour Later — The Chastayne Family Estate — Geraldine’s Study

“Why in the hell are you here Donna?”  Geraldine asked, looking at the woman with a mean look on her face.  “For the life of me, I don’t understand why you chose to brang your nasty ass here of all places!”

“I—I came here because I had no place else to go,” the woman replied as Geraldine shook her head.  “Please Geraldine, please… I—I need help here.”

“No, you don’t need help from here,” Geraldine stated as she shook her head.  “I’m not traveling down that muthafuckin’ road with you again.”

“Please Geraldine, please help me,” the woman pleaded as Geraldine turned her back on the woman.  “I don’t have any place else to go.  My—my…”

“Can that shit Donna, I’ve heard it all before.  I’m not up to hearing your little story and I’m not fucking interested in it!”  Geraldine snapped, turning around as the woman clasped her hands together, acting as if she were praying.

“What am I supposed to do Geraldine, you—you were my last resort,” the woman stated.

“Do you think I give a damn Donna?”  Geraldine asked as she crossed her arms across her chest.  “Out of all the places you could’ve gone, why in the hell did you crawl your ass here?”

“I—I came here because you’re my friend Geraldine,” the woman replied as she stood up and then walked towards Geraldine.  “I came here because we were girls and…”

“Donna, that was way before you did what you did!”  Geraldine snapped, throwing her hands up..  “That boy doesn’t need to see you here!”

“But—but I want to see him,” the woman replied as she looked down at her closed hands.  “I’ve thought of nothing but him for the last… I couldn’t help it that Harold didn’t want a child.”

“You silly fucking bitch!”  Geraldine screamed, turning around and pointing her finger in the woman’s face.  “You should’ve chosen your child, not some damn man that turned his back on you when you really needed him!”

“No Geraldine, it wasn’t like that, really it wasn’t,” the woman stated as she shook her head.  “I…”

“That fool made you choose between being the mother of your child or being with has no-good, low-down, dirty ass!”  Geraldine screamed as she pointed her finger in the woman’s face.  “You made the wrong fucking choice Donna, but that’s okay!”

“I made the right choice Geraldine,” the woman stated, shaking her head as the tears streamed down her face.

“You are out of your fucking mind woman!”  Geraldine screamed as she pointed her fingers in the woman’s face.  “His dick wasn’t that damn good!  Hell, I’ve seen and fucked better!”

“G—Geraldine,” the woman said as Geraldine shook her head and then smacked her across the face.  “You… You…”

“Damn right I did!”  Geraldine screamed as the tears streamed down her face.  “That boy needed you, but you choose some damn man that…”

“I chose a man that decided to take care of me and not kill me or my child,” the woman stated as she sniffled as she pushed Geraldine backwards, trying to get away from her grasp.  “If I hadn’t done what he wanted, he would’ve killed me and Dylan.”

“What!”  Geraldine screamed as someone knocked at the door to the room.  “Go away!”

“Geraldine, open this damn door!”  James’ voice could be heard as the knocking continued.  “Open this damn door right now woman!”

“I said go away!”  Geraldine screamed as she turned and looked at the door as she shook her head.

“I’m not leaving from this damn door until I get some answers woman!  Open this damn door!”  James yelled as he banged on the door again.

“Fine,” Geraldine relented as she unlocked and then opened the door as James stood there watching her.  “What in pray tell do you want James?

“What’s with all the damn yelling woman?”  James asked as he walked further into the room and then looked around.  “Donna Owens, what in the hell are you doing back here?”

“That’s none of your business James,” Geraldine stated as she glared at James, walking around in front of him, trying to block his view of the woman.  “She’s not here to be your whore anymore James.”

“Woman, don’t you start no shit with me tonight.  I’m in no damn mood for anything you want to start,” James stated as he eyed Geraldine and then looked over her shoulder at the woman.  “I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow and I would like to get some damn sleep.  I can’t do that with all the hootin’ and hollerin’ you two are doing here.”

“Get out of here James and…” Geraldine said as James shook his head and then held up his hand, interrupting her.

“I’m going back to bed.  Don’t make me come back down here woman,” James stated as he pointed his finger in Geraldine’s face and then walked out of the room.  “Goodnight women.”

“Bye,” Geraldine stated as she closed and then locked the door again.  “Now back to your ass.”

“Please Geraldine, I—I need a place to stay and I… I would like to see Dylan,” the woman stated as Geraldine’s eyes widened.  “I’ll get a job and do what I can to prove to you that I’m a changed woman.”

“The only thing that’s changed about you is your damn hair color ho,” Geraldine stated as she shook her head.

“Please Geraldine, I—I just need some time to get back on my feet and then…” The woman stated as Geraldine shook her head and then sighed.

“And then what Donna?”  Geraldine asked as she turned to look at the woman.  “You get enough money and then you run off again?  Is that the plan you have in your head Donna?  Do I look like a damn fool to you?”

“No Geraldine,” the woman replied as more tears fell from her eyes.  “I—I just need a chance here Geraldine and you’re the one that can give me that chance.  I want to prove to you that I have changed.  I can’t do that without a place to live and a job.”

“Fine then Donna, you have a job,” Geraldine replied as she turned around and then pressed a button on the wall.  “Vivian, come down to my study please.”

“Thank you,” the woman spoke, getting up off the floor, dusting off her knees and then looking at Geraldine.

“To start, I’ll have one of the maids set you up, in a room here, in a different part of the house.  In order for you to stay here, you can’t tell anyone that you’re Dylan’s mother.  Do you understand that Donna?”  Geraldine asked as the woman nodded her head.  “Good, then see that you don’t break that rule and I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Thank you Geraldine,” the woman said as someone knocked on the door.

“Go ahead and get that, it’s probably Vivian,” Geraldine stated as the woman walked over to the door, unlocked and opened it, only to see Dylan Chastayne standing there.

“Dylan,” the woman spoke softly, backing away from the door as Geraldine’s head snapped up.

“What’s going on?”  Geraldine asked, moving past the woman to see Dylan at the door.  “Boy, what are you doing down here right now?”

“Hi Mom, I came to talk to you about something, but I see that you are already busy with a visitor, I guess I’ll talk with you in the morning.”

“You do that,” Geraldine stated as she ushered Dylan out of the room and then closed the door back.

“That was my baby,” the woman softly said as she looked down at the floor.  “He’s all grown up and he’s so handsome.  He looks like his father.”

“Yes, he looks just like that bastard and that’s not a good thing,” Geraldine stated as she turned back to the woman.  “Dylan lives in this house.  If you want to remain a guest here, you better keep your distance from him.  Promise me Donna.”

“I…” The woman trailed off ad Geraldine forcefully turned her around, looking her in the face.

“Promise me Donna,” Geraldine spoke as some more tears fell from the woman’s eyes.

“I promise,” the woman replied as she sniffled and then wiped at her eyes.

“You stay away from him and everything will be fine and dandy,” Geraldine stated as she sighed.  “I don’t need that young man getting to know you and then you up and disappear from his life again or better yet, you introduce him to that bastard of a father and cause a way bigger problem.”

“I’ll stay away from him like you said,” the woman responded as she looked down, wiping at the tears of her eyes as Geraldine shook her head.

To Be Continued…

If I Ain’t Got You – Chapter 8

Chapter 8 — Revelations, Part 3

Dec 30, 2002 – Orlando, FL – Florida Hospital – Nick’s Hospital Room

“Hi there,” Angela said as she walked into the room to see a man sitting in the chair next to Nick’s bed.

“Hello Miss,” Kevin said as he turned around to see Angela.

“Hi, I’m Angela, his day shift nurse,” Angela replied as she extended her hand to Kevin.

“Hi, ahhhh, I—I’m Kevin,” Kevin replied as he shook her hand.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you here today,” Angela said as she looked at Kevin closely.

“Ah yeah, I stopped in this morning and left after the doctor was last here,” Kevin replied as he smiled weakly at Angela.

“Okay,” Angela replied as she held Nick’s wrist, checking his pulse rate. “So, are you a friend of Mr. Canton’s?”

“Yes I am,” Kevin replied as he took a seat again. “We sing together in a band.”

“You sing together in a band?” Angela said as she turned around to look at Kevin again. “Oh my God, I didn’t see it before. Nickolas Canton and you are Kevin Richards. You two are part of the ‘Fifth Avenue Boys’.”

“Right you are,” Kevin said as he looked down.

“Oh my, what happened to him?” Angela asked as she looked over at Kevin. “It doesn’t really specify a general problem on his chart.”

“I don’t think I can tell you that Miss, that’s not my place to tell you,” Kevin answered her.

“You may call me Angela or Angie,” Angela said as she walked over to the sink and washed her hands. “I’m done here. If you or Mr. Canton need anything, just let me know.”

“I—I will,” Kevin replied as he saw her to the door.

“Have a good evening sir,” Angela replied as she walked out of the rom and then back down to the nurses’ station.

“Who’s in that room Angela?” One of the other nurses asked.

“That’s confidential information, I can’t tell you that information Carly,” Angela replied as she turned around.

“Oh, it must be one of those celebrities then,” Carly stated with a smile.

“I can’t tell you that, so you might as well drop it girl,” Angela said as she walked down the hall in the other direction.

“I’m going to see who’s in that room,” Carly said as she looked down the hall to see if Angela was out of sight and then she walked in the direction of Nick’s room.

As Carly approached the room, she looked around to see if anyone was watching her. Smiling, she opened the door and peaked into the room as her expression changed when she saw Nick Canton lying in bed. Stepping fully into the room, she saw Kevin Richards sitting next to the bed, holding Nick’s hand.

“Oh my God, it’s Nick Canton and Kevin Richards of the ‘Fifth Avenue Boys’,” Carly said as she turned around and bumped right into Angela who stood there, watching her.

“What are you doing here Carly?” Angela asked as she stood there, tapping her foot as she looked at the young woman closely.

“I… Well… Ah… I… I was just trying to see who was in the room,” Carly replied as she looked down.

“Did I not just tell you a few minutes ago that information was confidential?” Angela asked as the tapping of her foot got louder as she shook her head.

“Yes you did, but I didn’t do anything wrong, I just looked in here,” Carly stated with a frown. “I didn’t hurt anything.”

“You did something wrong Carly. You broke hospital protocol. I’m sorry, but I have no choice but to place you on suspension until further notice. You will go before the board next week and they’ll let you know whether or not you still have a job here,” Angela informed the young woman.

“But—but I didn’t do anything that warrants my termination,” Carly stated as she shook her head.

“You broke the rules and this isn’t the first time that you’ve done something like this. You’re dismissed Carly, someone else will work the remainder of your shift,” Angela stated as Carly walked away from the room with a mean look on her face as Angela walked into the room. “I’m sorry Kevin; I hope she didn’t cause any trouble.”

“It’s okay Angela, she didn’t do anything,” Kevin stated with a smile at Angela.

“Are you okay? You look like there’s something wrong,” Angela said as she walked over to Kevin.

“I don’t think I need to talk about what’s bothering me right now. There’s just too much stuff going on,” Kevin replied as he looked away from Angela.

“Well if you change your mind, I’m here. I’ve been told I’m a good listener,” Angela said as she walked over to Nick and then checked his vitals quickly as she turned around to head towards the door.

“Hey Angela, I think I do need to talk,” Kevin said as he got up from where he sat. “Are you able to listen for a few minutes?”

“Sure, I’m available to talk and listen Kevin,” Angela replied as she headed over to the table in the room and took a seat.

“How about something to drink; we have coffee and cola,” Kevin offered as he opened the little refrigerator in the room.

“A cup of coffee would do the trick,” Angela replied as Kevin poured a cup of coffee for her.

“What’s your poison?” Kevin asked as he looked at her. “Dark? Light? Do you take it with cream and sugar?”

“Some cream and two sugars will do it,” Angela said as Kevin walked over with a cold drink for himself and her cup of coffee.

“So Kevin what’s on your mind?” Angela asked, taking a sip of the coffee.

“I—I feel partially responsible for what happened to Nick,” Kevin replied with a frown. “I knew he was having problems and I basically ignored him. I was too busy, dealing with things in my own life that didn’t even matter, that I didn’t want to see the things that were really happening around me, to him. When he was younger, I told him I would always be there for him, but when he really needed me, I wasn’t there for him.”

Kevin talked about things he didn’t know if he could even trust Angela with or not. As he spoke, the tears slowly streamed down his face as secret after secret slipped from his lips, entering her ears. Angela sat there with Kevin, listening to the whole sad, but true story, not paying attention to anything else around her. Opening his eyes, Nick got up from the bed and then walked over to the table and took a seat, starring at Kevin strangely.

“What’s up Kevin?” Nick asked as he watched Kevin and Angela. “Fuck, my head hurts. It feels like I’m on fire.”

“What are you doing up and out of bed Nick? I thought you would sleep the rest of the evening,” Kevin said as he looked at Nick strangely. “What’s wrong with him Angela? Why do his eyes look like that? He looks like he’s on drugs.”

“I’m not exactly sure, but I think it could be a reaction to whatever the doctor gave him,” Angela replied as she got up from the table and then walked over to the phone, paging the doctor. “I’m quite sure Dr. Donaldson can tell us what’s going on.”

“Doctor? Who has a doctor?” Nick asked as he looked between Kevin and Angela. “Are one of you sick?”

“You have a doctor Nick,” Kevin replied as he looked at Nick strangely.

“Why do I have a doctor? There’s nothing wrong with me,” Nick replied as he got up quickly and then looked around.

“Something happened to you and we—we had to put you in the hospital,” Kevin stated with a frown.

“I don’t know why, I feel perfectly fine,” Nick said, walking over to Angela. “Hi there, I’m Nick Canton and you are?”

“Hi, I’m Angela Sebastian, HNIC,” Angela replied as Nick smiled.

“What does HNIC mean?” Nick asked as he looked at Angela strangely.

“It means I’m the head nurse in charge around here,” Angela replied with a small giggle.

“So Kevin, is this your new squeeze?” Nick asked, looking over at Kevin and then back to Angela, remembering how he saw them sitting at the table.

“No, we just met,” Kevin replied, looking at Angela with a strange glint in his eyes.

“Then why were you two holding hands?” Nick asked, looking at the two of them again. “If you were holding hands, there must be something there.”

“Seriously, we just met today,” Angela stated as she looked over at Nick with a nervous facial expression.

“That’s right Nicky, there’s nothing going on. I needed to talk and she was here to listen to me,” Kevin stated.

“Well whatever. I think you two would make a cute couple though,” Nick said as he got up and then walked over to the windows in the room as Kevin blushed, looking away from Angela quickly. “Where are we Kevin?”

“We’re in Orlando,” Kevin replied as Dr. Donaldson walked into the room.

“What seems to be the problem here Angie?” Dr. Donaldson asked, walking over to where she stood near the phone.

“Mr. Canton woke up a moment ago and his eyes are bloodshot. He complained of headache and he’s currently running a fever,” Angela stated.

“Thanks Angie, let’s see what we have here,” Dr. Donaldson said as Nick lay down in bed at the encouragement of Kevin. “He has all the signs of being in anaphylactic shock.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m really okay here,” Nick replied as the doctor touched his skin. “Really, I feel fine.”

“So your headache is gone and you’re not burning up?” Dr. Donaldson asked, looking at Nick closely.

“I feel fine, really I do,” Nick replied as the doctor flashed his penlight in his eyes. “Can I go home now?”

“No, you may not go home young man. I’m going to order that you be observed here for seventy-two more hours to make sure that you’re really okay,” Dr. Donaldson stated as Nick looked at him strangely.

“I said I was FINE!” Nick snapped, glaring at the doctor. “I want to go home!”

“Listen to the doctor Nicky. He knows what’s best for you,” Kevin said as he moved closer to Nick.

“No Kev, I want to go home!” Nick screamed as he sat up on the bed with a pout on his face.

“Well you can’t,” Kevin said as he walked over to where Angela stood as the doctor wrote some things on Nick’s chart and then handed it to Angela.

“Will there be anything else Doc?” Angela asked as she wrote some things on her notepad. “I’ll make sure that the next nurse knows what to do.”

“Good, I’ll get an update from you in the morning,” Dr. Donaldson stated as he waved and then left the room.

“Can I say something to you Angela?” Kevin asked as he stepped closer to her.

“Yes you may,” Angela replied, turning to look at Kevin.

“I want to thank you for listening to me,” Kevin said as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you for being here to provide your time.”

“No problem Kevin,” Angela replied with a smile.

“Look, are… yeah… ah… Are you going to be busy later?” Kevin asked as he looked down.

“My shift will be over around seven,” Angela replied. “Why?”

“Well… ah… Can I take you out to grab something to eat?” Kevin nervously asked. “Like dinner or something?”

“I will be honored to,” Angela replied with a smile. “I have a few minutes to go and you can meet me down at the nurses’ station or I can come back here.”

“Just come back here, that would give him a reason to be all sappy with you in private,” Nick said, looking at the two of them.

“Oh shush,” Kevin said, looking back at Angela. “So it’s a date then?”

“It’s a date Kevin. See you in a little bit,” Angela replied as she waved and then walked out of the room.

Some Time Previously – The Gym

“How are you feeling Justin?” JT asked, walking into the room with Steve and Kasai following behind him. “Are you ready to get started?”

“I guess I am,” Justin replied, wheeling over to JT and Steve. “What are we going to do?”

“Well first, we’re just going to do some stretching,” JT replied as he walked over to where there were some mats laid out on the floor. “Come on over here Justin.”

“Aye aye captain,” Justin said as he wheeled over to the spot where JT sat.

“Don’t forget to put your brakes on,” JT informed Justin as he laid his crutches down on the floor.

Justin’s POV

We sat there on the floor, doing stretches and pulling my body in different directions as I kept thinking about how I so wanted to be like JT. Like damn, he has it all. He has a man that loves him, regardless if he’s able to walk or not and he’s got a wonderful kid. That’s what I want. I want a lover for life, I want a kid like JT has that loves me regardless. I want to love someone. I always thought that I would be with Josh forever, living with our kids, but he fucked that all up. There’s someone for me, but where is he?

“Earth to Justin,” JT said as he tapped me on the arm. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. I—I was just thinking about something,” I replied as he grabbed my left leg and started bending it in and out.

“I don’t want you phasing out on me man. Talk to me here,” he said as Kasai grabbed my other leg and started doing the same thing he did. “Are you feeling anything when we do this?”

“Not much, but I know you guys are touching me,” I told him.

“Well duh, we’re touching you. We’re flexing your legs man,” he said as he laughed. “What’s on your mind Justin?”

“There’s a whole lot of stuff on my mind. Just so much stuff swarming around up here,” I said as I looked over to see Kasai staring at me with a dreamy look in his eyes.

“What kind of stuff Justin?” He asked, massaging my leg.

“Just stuff,” I replied as Kasai matched everything that JT did to my leg.

“Okay,” he said as he waved at Steve. “How are you doing with getting in and out of the bathroom?”

“Okay I guess. I can use the bathroom, if that’s what you’re asking me,” I replied as I looked at him strangely as Mark walked into the room.

“Is he putting you through the ringer yet Justin?” Mark asked as he sat down next to JT and then kissed him on the cheek.

“No, not yet, but I feel it coming,” I said as all of them laughed.

“I’m taking it easy on him this evening honey. I’ll let him know when I get ready to work him like a mule,” JT said as I frowned as the others continued laughing.

Kasai’s POV

Dang I can’t believe I’m actually here, getting to touch Justin Tanner’s body. I shouldn’t be thinking about him like this, but he’s so damn sexy. I wish Daddy wasn’t here with us right now; I just want to wrap my arms around him and love on him. I wish it were just the two of us, someplace alone, getting to do whatever. I would let him take me, like Jeff did yesterday. I bet sex with Justin would be so fantastic.

“Kasai, Kasai, Kai? Are you okay son?” Daddy asked, shaking me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m okay Daddy, I was just thinking about some things” I replied, putting on a smile.

“What is this, the zone out hour or something?” Daddy asked as he shook his head as he directed Justin back up into his chair.

“Okay Justin, how do you feel?” Daddy asked, rubbing on his legs.

“I’m tired is how I feel. Please tell me that we don’t have to do this every day,” Justin said as Daddy looked at him and then smiled strangely.

“I think I might let you get some rest on the weekends, only if you behave yourself during the week,” Daddy said just as his cell phone rang. “Hello?”


“Hi JT, Angie here,” I heard Angie say as I wondered why she was calling, since I would see her in a few minutes, when it was time for us to get going.

“Hi Angie, what’s up girl?” I asked, looking at my watch.

“Nothing really,” she replied as I wondered what was really up. It’s not like her to not come on out and say what’s on her mind. “I’m just getting ready to go for the night. I’ll catch up to you and the family later on.”

“Is there something wrong Angie?” I asked.

“No no, there’s nothing wrong, I’m just a little bit tired is all,” she replied as I shrugged my shoulders.

“Okay, that’s cool girl. I’m still working with a client, so we’ll be here for a bit longer. So are you going to get dinner?” I asked, grabbing Mark’s arm and pulling myself up.

“Maybe later, I’ve had a long day and all I can think about is having a nice soak in the tub and then taking a nap,” she said, her voice rising an octave. She’s up to something.

“That sounds great, but you don’t need to be missing dinner,” I said, seeing if I can get some info out of her.

“Fine JT, I have plans with someone tonight. I might catch you guys tomorrow night,” she said as I wondered who the person was. Did she finally give the guy in X-Ray a shot?

“Alright Angie, maybe tomorrow night then,” I said.

“Yes, maybe, but I’ll let you know. Night JT,” she said.

“Yeah, night Angie,” I replied as I closed the phone.

A Little After 7 PM – Down in the Hospital Lobby

“I’m so glad you decided to go out to dinner with me,” Kevin stated, taking Angela’s hand. “I would like to take you some place fancy, but I don’t think you would want to go in your nurses’ uniform.”

“Some place fancy, hmmm, let’s see. My house is only a few miles away from here. I can go home and change and come back,” Angela stated with a smile. “Is that going to be too much trouble?”

“No, it’s no trouble at all,” Kevin replied as he checked his watch. “Or, I can follow you to your place, wait for you and we can go on to the restaurant from there.”

“Okay, that’s doable,” Angela said as she looked at her cell phone and then slid it into her pocket as she and Kevin walked towards the doors. “My car is in the employee parking area. I’ll wait at the stop sign for you.”

“Alright,” Kevin replied as Joshua Charles walked through the door.

“Well hi there Kevin, what’re you doing here handsome?” Joshua asked, stopping in front of Kevin as Angela kept walking, not noticing that Kevin had stopped.

“I was here to see someone,” Kevin replied as he tried to move away from Joshua, but Joshua moved back in front of him.

“Hey now, what’s the big hurry handsome? It’s been a long while since I’ve seen you,” Joshua said as he grabbed Kevin by the waist and then pulled him close, kissing his lips.

“No Josh, stop it. I’m not going to let you do this to me again,” Kevin said as he pushed Joshua away, just as Angela stood there watching. “Angela, ahhhh…”

“What’s going on Kevin?” Angela asked with a saddened look on her face.

“It’s not what it looks like Angela,” Kevin replied as Joshua tried to grab his hand again.

“What does it ‘not’ look like Kevin?” Angela asked as the expression on her face changed to an angry one.

“Angela, I can explain,” Kevin said as she turned and then walked towards the door. “Wait, please let me explain.”

“What is there to explain Kevin? Wait, whatever that was, it’s your business, not mine,” Angela said as she continued walking, not slowing down. “It looks like you and he are an item.”

“No we’re not. It’s not what you think,” Kevin said again.

“Then what the hell is it? I’m waiting for you to explain to me what it is that I think it was,” Angela sarcastically said as she pointed her finger at Kevin. “I’m waiting, well… why did you kiss him? Are you gay?”

“He kissed me,” Kevin replied, standing in front of Angela. “I wasn’t kissing him, I wouldn’t…”

“You wouldn’t what Kevin?” Angela asked, looking Kevin in the eyes. “Make a date with me and then turn around and then kiss this guy here, in fact, the same guy I saw in the ER earlier today. I should’ve figured, you celebrity types are all the same.”

“No we’re not all the same Angela,” Kevin said, looking down. “Please Angela, give me a chance here.”

“Give you a chance to what Kevin, lead me on?” Angela asked with a sad expression. “I’m outta here.”

“Good riddance if you ask me,” Joshua said, walking up behind Kevin. “Come on handsome, why don’t we go back to my place and do the horizontal mambo, like we used to.”

“Get the hell away from me Josh!” Kevin screamed as he rushed out the door towards the parking garage, trying to follow Angela. “Angela! Angela wait! Please… Don’t leave like this!”

“I’ve had enough of this! I’m going home; I’ve had a very long and tiring day. I don’t need any of this crap right now,” Angela said as she continued walking.

“Please Angela, please don’t go,” Kevin pleaded as they arrived at a car.

“I said I was going home,” Angela stated with a frown as she unlocked the car door, opened it and then got in.

“Fine, let me come with you,” Kevin said as Angela pushed the button on the door panel as the passenger side door unlocked.

“You better get in here before I change my mind,” Angela stated as she watched Kevin walk around the car quickly and then get into the car.

Later that Evening – Back in the Hospital – A Veranda on the First Floor

“Hey Bro, what are you doing out here?” Aaron asked, walking up behind Nick. “I thought you were up in your room still.”

“I was in my room, but I’m out here now,” Nick replied as he rubbed at his eyes and then walked away from Aaron. “If it’s not too much to ask, I would like to be alone out here A.”

“Why?” Aaron asked.

“Because I don’t feel like being bothered by anyone and it is—was quiet out here,” Nick answered as Aaron looked down and then sighed.

“Nick…” Aaron said as Nick shook his head.

“I just want to be left alone, it’s really simple,” Nick said with a sigh. “So just go ahead and leave me alone here.”

“I’m not going to leave you out here alone Nick,” Aaron stated as he walked closer to Nick.

“There’s no reason for you to stay here, just go away. Can’t you understand that I want to be by myself?” Nick asked as Aaron sighed again and then ran a hand through his hair.

“Is it me Nick?” Aaron asked as he moved around in front of Nick and looked at him closely. “Is it me that you don’t want to be around?”

“It has nothing to do with you A, I just want to be left alone,” Nick said as he walked over to the other railing. “It seems the concept of being alone escapes people. Is that too much to ask for in this place?”

“NO, ah… Well I guess not,” Aaron replied as he turned around and then walked away from Nick. A sad expression on his face, Aaron stopped and looked back at Nick. “If you need or want me, I’ll be in your room. I love you Nick.”

To Be Continued…