If I Ain’t Got You – Chapter 10

Chapter 10 — Things Slow to a Screeching Halt  

Dec 30, 2002 – Orlando, FL – Florida Hospital — The Parking Garage

“Justin… Justin Tanner,” Kasai replied as he looked down as Mark looked up and then around.

“Justin Tanner?  Am I missing something here?  Kai, he’s a guy,” Mark stated as he rubbed at his head.

“See!  I told you that you wouldn’t understand!”  Kasai snapped as he tried to pull away from Mark.  “I’m gay Daddy Mark, I’m gay.”

“Are… are you sure about that buddy?” Mark asked as he looked at Kasai closely.

“Yeah, I’m totally sure about that.  That’s the only thing I’m sure about now-a-days,” Kasai replied as he wiped his face on his shirtsleeve.

“Okay Kai… I’m good with that if you’re gay,” Mark stated as he looked down and then back at Kasai.  “Be honest with me here.  Have you had sex with someone?”

“I—I don’t want to answer that question Daddy Mark,” Kasai replied as he looked down again.

“Why don’t you want to answer that question boy?  It sounds like you’ve already done the deed already,” Mark said with a sigh.  “I don’t understand Kai, what about Lisa?”

“Things have changed Daddy Mark.  I don’t have the same feelings for her anymore,” Kasai replied with a frown.

“Did… Is it something me and your Dad did?”  Mark asked as he removed his hand from Kasai’s back.

“You and Daddy didn’t do anything,” Kasai replied as he looked at Mark strangely.  “What are you talking about?”

“Is seeing me and your Dad together… is that corrupting you?”  Mark asked as he looked down.

“What!  No, you and Daddy have nothing to do with my feelings,” Kasai stated as he shook his head.

“Then why are you standing here, telling me that you’re gay all of a sudden?  You can’t just wake up one day and say that you’re gay Kai,” Mark said as he threw his hands up.

“Daddy Mark… oh what’s the use,” Kasai said as he pushed Mark away from him and then took off running.

“Kasai!  Kasai, come back here!”  Mark screamed out.  “Oh great, what have I just done?”

The Home of Angela Sebastian

“Kevin, I’ve changed my mind,” Angela spoke as she walked back into the room, wearing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

“You’ve changed your mind about what?”  Kevin asked, standing up.

“I think I would rather stay in tonight,” Angela replied as Kevin ran a hand through his hair.

“Okay Angela, I—I guess I should leave then,” Kevin responded with a frown.

“You don’t have to, but if you want you can,” Angela stated as she picked up the phone on the counter.  “I’m going to call and have some food delivered.  You’re welcomed to stay and chat with…”

“Are you sure about that Angela?”  Kevin asked, watching Angela’s facial expression.

“I’m sure Kevin, but the choice is totally yours though.  You can sit here and get to know me or you can go find that Joshua guy and let him hang all over you like a cheap suit.  It’s your decision Kevin,” Angela sarcastically said with a stern look as Kevin winced at her words.

“Angela, please…” Kevin said as she shook her head.

“Please what,” Angela said as she looked over at him.  “I’m totally confused with you.  Why don’t you tell me the truth?”

“Angela…” Kevin started as Angela interrupted him.

“Come on Kevin, tell me the truth here.  I still have this aching feeling that you’re not being totally honest with me about things,” Angela stated as she pointed the phone at him.

“Angela, I’m being honest with you.  There’s nothing to worry about here. I want to get to know you and see what can possibly happen between the two of us,” Kevin stated, sighing with a frown on his face as Angela waved the phone at him in a threatening manner.

“I don’t think you’ve been completely upfront with me here.  My women’s intuition is telling me that you and that Joshua guy had some kind of relationship at some point in the past,” Angela stated as she shook her head and then waved the phone at him again.

“Okay Angela, I’ve said my peace here.  You can either believe me or not,” Kevin stated as he turned and grabbed his jacket.

“Yes, you said your peace Kevin, but I believe you’ve left out a few pieces of the story.  Like the stuff you told me about your friend Nick.  If he’s gay, then I’m quite sure you can be implicated too, with the things I saw in the hospital lobby earlier.  All this stuff is telling me that you’re gay or at least bisexual,” Angela stated as she crossed her arms across her chest as Kevin winced again.

“Could we please just stop talking about this?”  Kevin asked, his cheeks reddening with each passing moment.

“Fine, it’s a touchy subject for you then.  We can talk about something else,” Angela stated as she looked at Kevin with squinted eyes.  “Why don’t you tell me about the relationship you and Nick didn’t have.”

“Say what?”  Kevin said with a sigh.  “What do you mean?”

“I want you to tell me about the relationship that you and Nick didn’t have,” Angela stated.

“We didn’t have a relationship,” Kevin replied with a frown.  “We’re only friends, almost like brothers.”

“I can understand that, but Nick wanted more from you,” Angela stated as she walked over to the fireplace, grabbed the fire poker as Kevin’s eyes widened as she pushed some wood logs around in the fireplace.

“Angela…” Kevin spoke as Angela kept using the fire poker to move the logs around in the fireplace and then she placed it back in it’s holder.

“Kevin, your past doesn’t really matter to me.  I just don’t want to get hurt in the end.  He’s in love with you and I’m sure that Joshua guy is in love with you too.  That’s enough to make any woman think you have a shaky past,” Angela stated as she turned around and then looked at Kevin.

“Well considering that I’m here with you and not with him or Nick, what does that tell you?”  Kevin asked as he looked at her.  “You saw me push him away when he kissed me and you heard the stuff I said to him.  Isn’t that enough for you Angela?”

“I don’t really know Kevin.  I don’t fully know what I’m getting myself into here with you.  I feel like you’re hiding a great deal from me, but you basically seem like someone that I would be happy with, but would you be happy with me?  Can you honestly answer that question Kevin?”  Angela asked, walking over and looking him in the face.

“You’re a nice and beautiful woman, of course I would be happy with you,” Kevin answered.

“Do I have the right equipment for you?”  Angela asked as she continued looking him in the face.

“What’s that supposed to mean Angela?”  Kevin asked with a sigh.

“It means just what it means Kevin.  Do I have the right equipment for you?  Is it really a woman that you want to be with?”  Angela asked as she took a seat as Kevin sighed again and then took a seat next to her as she looked at him strangely.

“I refuse to answer that question, mainly because it’s a stupid one,” Kevin stated.  “Do you want me to stay here with you or do you prefer it better if I left?”

“I would like it if you stayed, but Kevin you have to promise me that you won’t hurt me,” Angela stated as she looked him in the face again.

“That’s something I can’t promise you Angela.  I don’t think anyone would be able to make that kind of promise to you or anyone else for that matter,” Kevin stated as he stood up, grabbed his jacket again, pulling it on as he headed towards the door.

“Where are you going Kevin?”  Angela asked as she stood up quickly.

“I think I better just go.  I don’t think this was such a good idea,” Kevin answered her as he opened the door and then walked out.

Florida Hospital – Nick’s Hospital Room

“Aaron, where’s your brother?”  Janet asked, walking into the room as Aaron opened his eyes and looked up at her.  “I just got a call from someone here, telling me that he hasn’t been here for some time.”

“He’s downstairs in that patio thing,” Aaron replied, yawning as he rubbed at his eyes.

“And you left him down there?”  Janet asked, walking over to Aaron and popping him on the top of his head as she glared at him.  “Are you out of your mind?”

“No Mom, he told me to leave him alone, so I left him alone,” Aaron replied with a frown.

“What!  In his current condition, he doesn’t need to be left alone!  You know he could possibly do something to hurt himself while he’s by himself,” Janet stated as she shook her head.

“He’s not alone, Justin’s with him in there,” Aaron replied as he opened the magazine that sat on his lap and then flipped the pages.

“What?  You left him with Justin Tanner?  Why did you do that Aaron?”  Janet asked as she shook her head again.

“Because I think Justin can help him Mom.  I told you how he was in the therapy session.  As soon as he saw Justin and heard Justin’s voice, he was trying to snap out of it,” Aaron replied as he got up.  “I think Justin can help him out.  If he can, let him.”

“How so Aaron?”  Janet asked, looking at Aaron strangely.

“Dang Mom, Nick’s gay and so is Justin.  They’ve been through a lot of crap lately and I think they need each other,” Aaron stated as he continued looking through the magazine in his hand.

“Aaron…” Janet said, not actually knowing what to say.

“Just let things happen Mom and don’t interfere with them,” Aaron said as he walked out of the room.

“Aaron, where do you think you’re going?”  Janet asked, walking to the room door.

“I need some air,” Aaron replied as he rolled his eyes and continued walking down the hall.

The First Floor – The Hospital Veranda

Justin’s POV

I feel so content right now… now that I’m here with Nick and he has his head lying in my lap.  I know he might think I pity him, but I don’t.  Pity is the farthest thing from my mind right now.  I don’t pity him, I think I’m falling for him.

We’ve been out here for a bit and the things we’ve talked about, I’m a bit concerned.  From what he said earlier, he’s gone through a lot lately and I know that feeling all too well.  I just don’t know what to say about what his friend Brian did to him.  How could he do that to someone he’s supposed to care about?  I know how Jamie and Chrissy reacted when they found out what Dan had done to me, but in Nick’s case, that’s totally different.  Brian was his best friend, Dan wasn’t anything to me, just a stranger in passing.  When we first started talking, I got angry.  If I could, I would’ve hunted Brian down and kicked his ass for what he did to this beautiful man.  I was taught to never wish death upon someone, but to force yourself on someone as innocent as Nick is just wrong.  This beautiful angel deserves better than that.  I just wish I were able to give him all that he really needs.

“Nick, Nick wake up,” I whispered to him as I kissed the side of his face.

“Huh, what’s going on?”  He asked, sitting up quickly and then looking around as he wrapped his arms around me.

“You fell asleep,” I replied as I held his hand in mine.  “How do you feel?”

“I—I feel okay Justin.  I feel a little bit better now,” he replied, hugging me tightly.  “How long have we been here?”

“I don’t really know.  I think I’ve been here about two hours or so.  I’m guessing you were here longer than me, being that you were out here before I knew you were,” I told him with a smile.  “I think I’ll ask someone to bring me a watch so I can keep better track of the time around this place.”

“Who cares about the time?  I have you here with me and I could care less about that,” he said as the door opened as JT and Steve walked out to where we were.

“So here you are,” JT stated with a stern look on his face.  “You know your mother is having a fit about you.  She’s been flipping out about you being missing for the last couple of hours.”

“That’s Ma for you,” I said as he shook his head and then smiled.  “I should’ve told someone I was coming out here.  I just wanted to get away and be by myself.”

“Well it seems you’re not by yourself right now.  How are you doing?”  JT asked as the smile on his face flattened out a bit.

“Okay, just keeping my new friend here company,” I replied, grabbing Nick’s hand and then kissing the top of it.

“Hello Mr. Canton,” JT spoke.  “I just got a call from Janet Canton, trying to find out where her son was.  I assured her that you were okay.  I assume she has calmed down some by now.”

“I hope she has, I’m happy right now and I want to stay that way,” Nick responded as he looked up at JT.  “Who are you?”

“I’m JT, I’m Justin’s physical therapist and counselor,” JT answered.

“You are?  What happened to Danielle?”  I asked.

“She mainly deals with the patients that need her help.  You, on the other hand, you don’t need her help, you just need to get up off your bottom and walk,” he said with a chuckle.

“I—I thought you told me that you couldn’t walk,” Nick said as he raised his head up and looked at me with a strange look on his face.

“I can’t walk,” I said as the expression on his face turned to one of confusion.

“But he just said…” Nick said as I cut him off.

“I can’t walk right now, but I might be able to regain the ability to walk again one day.  I just have to work at it,” I told him as the look on his face changed back to a happy one as he smiled again.

“Okay, for a second there, I thought you were lying to me,” he said, leaning close and kissing me on the cheek.

“Excuse me, are you two romantically linked?”  JT asked as he sat down in the lounge chair across from us.

“I think we are,” I replied, turning to look at Nick.

“Only if he wants me, like I want him,” Nick spoke as he looked down at our entwined fingers.

“You know I want you, that’s something you never have to wonder about,” I told him as I leaned over and kissed his lips as he blushed.

“Well I hate to cut this short, but I have to get you two back to your rooms,” JT stated as Steve walked over, motioned with his head and then helped me back into my wheelchair.

“Please JT, don’t do this right now.  Can I stay a little longer with Nick?”  I asked, wishing that he would let me.

“Right now, you can’t do that,” he stated as feelings of anger and sadness flooded my body.  “The only thing I can suggest is that you two take this up to your room.”

“He can come up to my room?”  I asked, the feeling of happiness replacing my other emotions.

“Yes, but I must warn you though that your mother is there and she’s a little bit worried about you right now,” he said as I looked down.  “She might not agree with this right off hand.”

“Well the way I feel right now, she’s going to have to deal with it or else,” I said as he smiled and then shook his head.  “I just fond Nick and I’m not letting him get away from me.”

“Don’t worry about me Justin, I’m not going to get away from you,” Nick stated as he kissed me on the cheek as Steve patted me on the back and then started pushing me towards the door.  “I’ll be thinking about you Justin.”

“I’ll be thinking about you too Nick,” I said as we exited the room.

Orange County Police Department – Holding Area

Brian’s POV

“Look man, I don’t care what the deal is, get your ass down here and get me out of this place!  I’ve been waiting here for almost a week!”  I screamed, talking on the phone with my friend Alex.

“I’m sorry Brian, but there’s nothing I can do right now.  You’re stuck until your hearing,” Alex replied.

“I’m not playing here.  You need to get your ass up and come bail me out of this place,” I said, looking around the area, noticing the other men that watched me.

“I’m sorry Brian, I can’t come get you.  You should’ve thought about what you were doing before you did it.  You’re staying put, until your court hearing.  I hope the judge throws the fucking book at you!”  Alex screamed as I held the phone away from my ear.

“What the fuck!  I told you I didn’t do anything!  It’s all a lie, a bold face lie!”  I yelled as the jailer opened the door to the cell, walked in and then grabbed the phone from my hand.  “Hey, I wasn’t finished!”

“You are now,” the jailer said as he hung up the phone, saluted, walked out and then closed the door back as he smiled.  “Next time you get the opportunity to use the phone, act a bit more civil.”

“Whatever,” I said as he walked away.

“Hey guy, what you in for?”  One of the guys behind me asked.

“I’m here for nothing,” I replied as the guy smiled, shook his head and then motioned with his head at the bench for me to sit down as I moved away from him.  “I didn’t do anything wrong to be put in here.  I don’t belong in here.  Those damn bozos locked me up because someone can’t handle the fucking truth.”

“We all got arrested for some bullshit reason or another,” the guy said, eyeing me like he wanted to take a bite.  “I’m Trent, you are?”

“None of your business,” I spoke, moving away from him again.

“Fuck you man.  I was only trying to be polite and make conversation to pass the time,” the guy said as he shook his head and shot me the bird.

“You can be polite over there, just stay the fuck away from me,” I said, moving again as the guy followed me around the damn room, stopping at each bench I stopped at until he slugged me in the face.

“You stuck-up, fucking twat, you’re on the inside now.  Who’s going to protect your preppy ass now?  I can’t stand you snobbish, preppy boy types that think you’re better than everybody, you ain’t better than anybody, you’re common just like the rest of us in here,” the guy said as he got up in my face as I rubbed at my nose.  “I ought to kick your ass right now and then take you as my bitch!  You’re one of the cute ones.  I bet you have a nice cherry ass that’s begging to be fucked.”

“Guard!  Guard!  Help me!  Someone help me!   I need to get out of here!”  I screamed out as the man approached me again.

“Shut up Lang!  I’m not going to tell you again!”  The jailer yelled from down the corridor.

“I need help man!”  I screamed again as the guy jumped on me, holding me down to the floor as he struggled to get my pants down.

“Shut up like the pig said.  Let’s see what you’re hiding under that jumpsuit,” he said as he held my head against the floor hard, still trying to get my pants down.  “I think I want to test you out right now.  It’s just you and me here; I think I need a work out.”

“No, please don’t!”  I screamed out the best I could as he continued to hold my head against the floor.

As he continued holding me down on the floor, the lights went out in the cell and some in various places down the corridor.  Damn it!  It’s dark in here and I can barely see a damn thing except for that little bit of light that shown in from the corridor, that allowed me to see a bit of his shadow moving.  When I heard a cell door close, I started to panic.  Did the damn jailer just leave completely?  Am I in here all alone with this fucker?  The next thing I knew, the guy had unzipped the zipper on his jumpsuit and then he yanked my pants the rest of the way down as he held my arms behind my back.

“Hot damn,” the guy said as I felt him using his finger to play with my hole.  “You have a nice puckered hole there boy.  It feels like it wants to be fucked.”

“Leave me alone please,” I begged as I continued to struggle to get away from him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave you alone after I’ve sprayed your insides with my nuts,” the man said as he pulled me up into a doggy-style position as he spat on my ass.  “That should take care of that pretty boy.  This should only hurt for a minute or two, maybe three.”

“Please don’t do this man, just let me up and we can act like none of this ever happened,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t do this and he would just stop as I felt the tears sliding down my face.

“Oh come on, you’ll love the feel of my dick pounding your ass pussy boy.  You better get used to it.  From what I see, you’ll be getting this kind of treatment on the regular,” the man said as intense pain enveloped me as he slid his dick into my ass as he covered my mouth with his other hand.  “Oh yeah boy, you got a tight man-pussy on you.  This is going to be good.”

The guy continued to pound in and out of my ass as if he didn’t care that he was hurting me.  Is this what everyone has been trying to tell me?  Is this what it’s like?  Is this what I did?  All I could think about was how I had treated Nick before.  The very thing I had done to him, was now being done to me.  I guess this is what people mean by karma.

Florida Hospital – Nick’s Hospital Room

Nick’s POV

I’m currently back in my room with the JT guy and he’s trying to explain to mom about where I’ve been.  Like always, she isn’t trying to listen to what’s being said.  Apparently, she acts the same way, regardless of who it is talking.  Damn, I feel so empty, now that Justin’s not with me.  Was that all just a dream for me or are things with Justin real?

It’s been thirty minutes and Mom’s bitching the JT guy out because she feels that the hospital doesn’t have adequate security here in place for me.  I wish she would just shut the hell up and go home or something.  Her being here is putting more strain on me, than it is for everybody else.  Mom’s one of the reasons I have problems in my life.  Because of her and sometimes dad, they always tend to judge me because of my so-called lifestyle.  Being gay is a part of me, not a sin that they don’t believe in.  I wonder how they’ll react when they find out that Aaron is just as gay as I am…

“What would you people have done if he hurt himself somewhere in the hospital?”  Mom asked as she placed her hands on her hips and then stood in front of him.

“Mom, please just be quiet, I’m really okay.  I’m not hurt in any way,” I said, walking over to where she and JT were.  “There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m fine.  Now could you please stop this bickering, it’s starting to get on my nerves, he’s a doctor for Christ’s sake.”

“Technically, I’m not a doctor,” JT stated, raising his hand, trying to diffuse the situation.  “I’m a counselor and a physical therapist.”

“I don’t care what your so-called official title is.  If this place had adequate security, my son wouldn’t have been missing for almost four hours,” Mom stated with a frown.

“Mom, I wasn’t missing, I was downstairs on the patio,” I told her.

“No one else knew that,” Mom said as Aaron stood up.

“I told you where he was when you got here,” Aaron stated as he shook his head, sighed and then threw his hands up.  “Just drop all of this Mom.  Nick’s right here and as you can see, he’s in a good mood.”

“Stay out of this Aaron, adults are talking here,” Mom stated as she turned back to JT.  “As I was saying, what’s going to be done to make sure that this doesn’t happen again?”

“It sounds like you want them to tag me as if I was a dog!”  I snapped as she turned and looked at me.

“Mrs. Canton, from my viewpoint, nothing happened here.  Nick decided to take a walk.  I think him walking around is a good thing, it helps clear the mind,” JT stated with a small smile as she glared at him.

“Do you also think it’s good for him being with that Justin Tanner guy?”  Mom asked, getting right on to the point of her hatred of my so-called sin.

“Mrs. Canton, I have nothing to do with Nick’s personal relationship matters.  If he wants to associate with Mr. Tanner, then there’s nothing I can say or do about that,” JT stated as his cell phone rang.  “Excuse me, I need to take this.”

“We’re not done here, not by a long shot,” Mom said as JT moved over to the corner of the room to talk on his phone.

To Be Continued…