If I Ain’t Got You – Chapter 11

Chapter 11 — Dramatic Pause

Dec 30, 2002 – Orlando, FL – Florida Hospital – Nick’s Hospital Room


“Hello,” I spoke into the phone.

“Baby, have you seen Kai?”  I heard Mark’s voice ask.

“No I haven’t, why?  Is there something wrong Mark?”  I asked, not liking the sound of his voice.

“We—we got into an argument and he ran off from me and I can’t find him,” Mark said as I shook my head, wondering what they had gotten into this time.

“What do you mean he ran off and you can’t find him?”  I asked, not realizing I had raised my voice.

“Baby, stop screaming,” he said as the call waiting beep sounded on the line.

“Hold on Mark, I have another call,” I said as I switched over to the other line.  “Hello?”

“Daddy, I need your help,” I heard Kasai’s voice on the line, sounding as if he was crying.

“Kasai, where are you?”  I asked.  “Mark’s on the other line, telling me that you two got into it again and that you ran away from him.  What’s going on boy?”

“Not now Daddy, I need you to come down to the police station and get me,” Kasai stated as multiple images flooded my mind of the reasons why he was there.

“I need to go to the police station and get you?  What’re you doing there?”  I asked, angry with him now.

“I—I got attacked, I just need you to come get me,” he said as he sniffled.  “I told the officers to take me to where you were, but instead they brought me here and said that I needed my parents to come get me.”

“Oh God son, are you okay?”  I asked, my anger fading.

“I will be, as soon as you come and get me.  I’m scared here and I want to go home,” he said as there was a loud scream and a gunshot in the background.

“Kai, what’s going on there?”  I asked, my mood turning into a frantic one.

“Some guy just got shot.  He was raping another prisoner here.  Daddy hurry up and come get me!”  Kasai demanded.

“I’m on my way,” I replied, closing the phone and walking towards the door.

“Is everything okay?”  Janet asked, watching me.

“No, it’s not okay.  We’ll he to finish this some other time.  I need to go,” I stated, walking out the room.

A Few Minutes Later – The Lobby


“How could you treat him like that Mark?  Sometimes I wonder about you.  If he’s gay, he’s gay.  So what, we’re gay!”  I snapped, walking through the hospital doors.

“Yeah and look at all the crap we’ve had to go through in the last couple of years together,” Mark said with a frown. “I don’t want him going through the same shit we’ve had to go through baby.  I love him and I don’t want to see him hurt in any way.”

“I know you love him, but sometimes you can be a little bit harsh,” I said, getting into the van as I closed the door and then got the seatbelt buckled.  “We’ll just have to smooth this over later on, right now we just need to go get him and get him home.”

“Baby, you know I wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt him,” he said, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek.

“I know Mark, just drive.  While I talked with him on the phone, I heard a gunshot,” I told him as he swerved and looked at me.

“You heard a gunshot?”  He asked as I nodded my head.

“Yeah, Kai said that one of the prisoners was being raped and from the sounds of things, I guess the guards had to shoot the one doing the raping,” I told him as we arrived at the police station.  “Come on.”

“Baby, why don’t you stay here while I go in and get him,” he told me.

“I’m not staying out here… I’m going in there to get my child.  You can stay out here if you like, but I’m not,” I told him, opening the door and grabbing my crutches.

“Wait for me baby,” he said as I walked up the steps and got to the door.  “I got that.”

“Thanks,” I said as we walked down to the windowed counter.  “Hi, I’m JT Poole and I’m here to pick up my son, Kasai Poole.”

“You’re the kid’s dad?”  The man behind the counter asked as I looked at him funny.

“Yes, I’m his dad.  What seems to be the problem?”  I asked.

“You don’t look like a queen,” the officer said as I looked at him funny, wondering where this was going.

“I don’t look like a ‘queen’?  What is that supposed to mean?”  I asked, watching the man as my anger level rose.

“Your son was brought in here for starting a fight.  He shot his mouth off to some guys that were bigger than he is and he couldn’t handle it.  From what I heard, he was defending his gay dad,” the man stated as Mark stepped up behind me.

“I’m his gay dad, what’s your fucking point mister?”  I asked, slipping into bitch mode.  “I came here to pick up my son and I’m still waiting.”

“Hold your horses there.  Sheesh, I guess you are a queen,” the man said as he moved over to another part of the counter and grabbed a folder and then picked up a phone.

“Keep on talking mister and I’ll sue you and this entire place for your actions.  You’re pressing your luck with me tonight,” I stated as a police officer came around the corner with Kasai.

“Daddy!”  Kasai screamed, running over and hugging me tightly.

“Are you okay kid?”  I asked as he cried in my arms.  “I guess that’s a no.”

“What did you people do to him?”  Mark asked, looking at the two men.

“We didn’t do anything to the little wimp.  He’s been sitting back there in a cell since we brought him in,” the first man spoke as I looked at him like he had lost his damn mind.

“Why was he sitting back there, in a damn cell?”  I asked, my pissed off mood coming back full force.

“He broke the law.  When someone breaks the law, we put them in a jail cell.  That’s why it’s called jail,” the first man spoke as I shook my head.

“Okay, before this goes any further, is he free to go?”  I asked, starring the officer down.

“Yeah, he’s free to leave here.  Just make sure he stays out of trouble,” the first man spoke as he looked at me like he wanted to say more.

“Well thank you officer, we’ll be leaving now.  Have a good night,” I said as we walked out and headed back to the van.

“Are you okay?”  Mark asked, looking at Kai, getting no answer as we got to the van, opened the doors and got in.

“How did all of this start Kai?”  I asked, turning around in my seat a little bit so I could see him.

“After I left Daddy Mark at the hospital, I walked over to Lisa’s to talk about what we talked about earlier.  I got to her place, we talked and I was going to change my mind about telling her, but then I thought it would be wrong to lead her on.  I told her about my feelings and then she kicked me out.  After I left her place, some of her friends ran after me and tried to beat me up.  That’s when the police arrived and took us all to jail,” Kasai explained as Mark shook his head.

“So, Lisa sent her friends to attack you because you told her you’re gay?”  I asked.

“Yeah,” he replied as he sniffled.  “I wasn’t trying to hurt her.  I was only trying to keep from hurting her, but it seems it didn’t matter either way.  This is just great.  I won’t be able to show my face around school now.”

“Why is that?”  Mark asked.

“She’s going to tell everybody that I’m gay and her friends will too,” Kasai said as he sniffled.

“You have to be strong son.  Regardless of what she or anyone else thinks of you, you’re being true to yourself and trying to be true to her.  If she’s that small minded and inconsiderate, then she never liked you in the first place,” I told him as I climbed into the backseat with him and pulled him into my arms, holding him tight as he cried.

“It’s going to be okay, just don’t worry about any of this,” Mark stated as he looked in the rearview mirror.  “This will pass, I promise you that.”

“I hope so Daddy Mark, if not, I might be able to handle it,” Kasai stated as he held onto me.

“You’ll be just fine son,” I told him, kissing the top of his head.

“We’re almost home.  Do you guys want to go grab something to eat or order something in?”  Mark asked, turning onto Ventura.

“Kai, do you want to stop and get something?”  I asked.

“No, not really Daddy, I’ll get something out of the kitchen at home,” he lightly spoke.

“Alright,” I replied, smoothing his hair back on his head.  “Baby, what did you do with the food I had left over from Chili’s?”

“I ate it baby, I told you if you didn’t finish it, I would,” Mark said, laughing at me.

“Well damn, I guess I’ll cook something then,” I said, shaking my head.  “Mr. Greedy.”

“Fine, I’ll cook something.  You and baby boy go into the family room and I’ll prepare a nice late dinner,” Mark said as we turned on our street.

“Could we watch a movie?”  Kasai asked as I nodded my head.

“Sure, what do you want to watch?”  I asked as we pulled into the driveway.

“I don’t care what we watch,” Kasai replied as Mark smiled.

“How about we watch one of our favorites baby?  Why don’t we watch a Ricki Lake movie?”  Mark asked as he turned off the van, unbuckled his seatbelt, got out and closed the door, walking around to the passenger side to help me out.  “We could maybe watch ‘Serial Mom’ or ‘Miss Winterbourne’ this time,” Mark suggested as I shook my head.

“Or we could watch ‘Babycakes’ or ‘Hairspray’.  I love those movies the most,” I said as Mark shook his head as he helped me out of the van.

“Why don’t we try ‘Babycakes’.  I keep falling asleep on that one when you play it,” Mark responded and then laughed.

“That’s because you’re always half asleep when I’m watching it,” I said as I kissed him on the cheek as he held me up.

“Do you need your chair baby or do you think you can make it?”  He asked as Kasai moved around the two of us.

“I think I can make it handsome,” I replied as I took my crutches from Kasai as we walked up to the front door.

“Why don’t we call Aunt Angie and see if she wants to come over,” Kasai said as he looked at me.

“Sorry bud, but Angie’s not available at this time,” I told him, just as the phone started to ring inside the house.  “Go in there and get the phone Kai.”

“Okay Daddy,” Kasai said as he unlocked the door and then ran into the foyer to grab the phone.

“Who is it?”  I asked.

“It’s someone from the hospital,” Kasai replied as he stood by the kitchen entrance, holding the phone in his hand.

“Do you have to go back to work baby?”  Mark asked, sitting my wheelchair down in front of me.

“I don’t know.  I haven’t even taken the call yet.  Let me find out what’s going on first,” I told him as I took the phone from Kasai.  “Hello…”

“Mr. Poole, there seems to be a problem here at the hospital that requires your approval,” I heard the voice of Candy, one of the nurses from the sector Nick was currently in.

“What requires my approval Candy?”  I asked, wondering what she would be calling me for at this time of night as I looked over at Mark strangely as he shrugged his shoulders and then started making funny faces.

“There’s a problem concerning Mr. Canton.  He’s in Mr. Tanner’s room and he’s refusing to leave.  He stated that he wasn’t leaving the room and that he was going to remain there until morning,” Candy explained as I shook my head, wondering why she was calling me for something like that.

“So let him stay in there.  I don’t see any harm with that.  Did you call Dr. Warrenton or Dr. Donaldson about this matter?”  I asked.

“They both said whatever you said goes, since Ms. Michaels isn’t available,” Candy replied as I shook my head again.

“I don’t see the harm in him being in Justin’s room.  Let him stay in here.  They’re in the same therapy group and they’re adults.  It’s quite alright,” I stated.

“Okay Mr. Poole, I’ll make a note of this,” she said as I shook my head.

“Is there anything else Candy?”  I asked.

“No sir,” she replied.

“Alright Candy, have a good night then,” I said, hanging up the phone and then walking into the kitchen where Mark was mixing some stuff in a bowl.  “What are you making Mista Poole?”

“I’m mixing some sauce for the steak kabobs that are on the grill in the back Mista Walden,” he replied, kissing me on the cheek.

“You do realize it’s cold outside, right?”  I asked, walking over to the refrigerator.

“Yes baby, I do realize that,” he said with a smile.  “I’m only cooking the steak kabobs out there.  I have baked potatoes in the oven and I’ve already prepared a garden salad.”

“Oh my, you’re on the ball in here,” I said as he smiled.  “Where’s Kai?”

“He said he was going to shower,” he replied as he put the bowl down.  “Baby, grab the buzzer, the potatoes are ready.”

“Okay,” I replied, walking over to the oven, opening it and smiling at the smell of the potatoes.  “Those look good.  What did you top them with?”

“No baby, no tasting until it’s time to sit down at the table,” he said, smacking my hand.

“Well hurry up, I’m ready to eat,” I said as he shook his head.

“Who’s being greedy now?”  He asked as I shook my head and then threw a towel at him.  “Hey, watch it baby.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” I said as he walked over and kissed my mouth.

Dec 31, 2002 – The Spot Nightclub

“Hey baby, what’re you doing here?”  Joshua Charles asked, walking up to Kevin Richards as he sat on a barstool at the bar with a beer in his hand.

“Oh hell no, just leave me alone Josh.  Just stay far away from me,” Kevin stated as he put the beer down and then got up from the bar and started walking towards the exit.

“I’m not going to leave you alone Kev, I know that look.  Someone has hurt your dick’s feelings.  Was it that chick from the hospital that you were talking to earlier?”  Joshua asked.

“Just mind your own damn business Josh,” Kevin said as he continued walking.

“Come on Kevin, you know you don’t want me to leave you alone,” Joshua said as he got closer to Kevin, grabbed his arm and stopped him from walking away as he placed his hand on his crotch, squeezing gently.

“Cut that out Josh,” Kevin said as he smacked Josh’s hand away from his crotch.

“I won’t.  You know you love it when I do that.  You never complained about me squeezing you there before.  You used to love it when I played with your cock and sucked it until you came all over my face,” Joshua stated in a seductive tone as he rubbed his fingers slowly across Kevin’s chest.  “You know you want to fuck me tonight.  You know you want me to touch…”

“No I don’t,” Kevin replied, his voice trembling a bit.

“Yes you do Kevin, your voice is betraying you right now.  I can hear it in your voice of how much you want to screw me right now,” Joshua said as he leaned in close and kissed Kevin’s neck while he slowly massaged his cock through his pants.  “Come on Kevin, let’s just go back to my house and make love like we used to all night long.”

“I don’t want to do that Josh, just leave me alone, please,” Kevin said in a small voice.  “I—I can’t do that anymore… I—I’m a changed man.”

“Okay Kevin, have it your way.  You know you could be at my place right now, fucking my ass, over and over again.  In and out, in and out, over and over again, filling me up with your cum, making me beg you to pound me, harder and harder, faster and faster,” Joshua said as he punctuated each of his words with a squeeze to Kevin’s cock.

“Damn it Josh, you know I can’t resist you when you do that to me,” Kevin said, panting like he had been running in a marathon.

“Come on Kevin, why don’t we take this back to my place, so I can make you really breathe heavy.  When I’m done with you, you’d have a reason to breathe like that,” Joshua said as he leaned in and kissed Kevin’s mouth and then pulled him towards the door.

Florida Hospital – Justin’s Hospital Room

“It’s very simple really, all you have to do is make sure that no one comes in the room,” Justin said as he shook his head.

“You know you can’t do that Justin.  The nurses have to come in and check on you hourly, to make sure your body is functioning properly,” Jamie said as he walked over to where Nick and Justin sat on the bed.

“Why not, we just want to be here, in peace,” Justin said with a frown.  “We can’t have peace with everyone in and out of here, all the damn time.”

“The hospital isn’t a place for meetings Justin, this is your life we’re talking about here,” Jamie said as Marshall walked back into the room.

“Don’t you two understand where I’m coming from here?”  Justin asked, frowning as he looked at Jamie.

“I understand you Justin, but now isn’t the time.  You need to wait until you’re released in a few weeks,” Jamie stated as he sighed.

“I don’t want to wait a few weeks, we have now,” Justin said as he held Nick’s hand.

“I give up, we’ve been here for the last hour, trying to explain this to you.  You just don’t want to listen, you’re too darn stubborn,” Jamie stated as there was a knock at the door.

“Hello Mr. Tanner,” a nurse spoke, peeking her head into the room.  “I need to check your colostomy bag, if it’s okay if I come in?”

“Sure,” Justin replied as the nurse stepped into the room.

“Thank you.  Can you all please leave the room,” the nurse spoke as Jamie and Marshall moved towards the door but Nick didn’t.

“That includes you too sir,” the woman stated, looking at Nick.

“He can stay,” Justin responded as he looked at the woman, the expression on his face, speaking volumes of it’s own.

“Okay then,” the nurse stated as she picked up Justin’s chart, checked off some things and then moved around the bed to where he and Nick were.  “I need you to lift your shirt.”

“Yes ma’am,” Justin replied as he lifted the nightshirt he wore as the nurse pulled on a pair of gloves and then examined the tubing that was inserted into his abdominal wall.  “Is this going to take long?”

“Not at all Mr. Tanner,” the nurse replied with a smile as Justin frowned as she moved over to the sink, opened a cabinet and grabbed a gauze packet out and opened it.

“Is that thing going to be removed or do I have to keep it forever?”  Justin asked, pointing at the small pouch on his side as the nurse came back over and used the gauze to wipe around the opening.

“Right now, you have to have this until your intestines have healed and you can fully use the bathroom on your own,” the nurse answered.

“That’s just great,” Justin replied as he sighed again.

“Didn’t the doctor explain all of this to you?”  The nurse asked, disposing of the gauze and then removing the gloves as she went over to the sink and washed her hands.

“Probably so, it probably went over my head though and I had no idea what they were talking about,” Justin stated as the nurse motioned with her hand that he could put his shirt back down.

“Well if you like, I can have your PT tell you all about this stuff again,” the nurse stated as Justin just looked at her strangely.

“My PT?  What’s that?”  Justin asked.

“Your PT is your physical therapist.  I see that you have Mr. Poole and he’s also your counselor,” the nurse stated with a smile.

“Yeah,” Justin said, nodding his head.

“Well I’ll just make a note on your chart so he can go over this stuff with you,” the nurse stated as she picked up the chart again and then flipped some pages.  “Is there anything I can get you before I leave sir?”

“No thank you,” Justin replied as Lynn, Janet, Jamie and Marshall walked into the room.

“You have a good night sir,” the nurse stated, walking out of the room as Janet and Lynn looked at each other and then started arguing.

“What’s going on here?”  Justin asked, looking between his mother and Janet.

“You two need to cut it out,” Jamie suggested as Janet looked at him strangely.

“You stay out of this, you have nothing to do with this,” Janet said as she pointed her finger at Jamie.

“Don’t talk to him like that!”  Lynn snapped, pointing her finger at Janet.  “I can’t believe you said that about my son, I ought…”

“I’m telling the truth, I’m not trying to be hurtful or anything.  I don’t believe they should be together,” Janet stated as she glared at Lynn.

“I feel the same way, but not for the same reasons as you,” Lynn stated, walking over to the table and sitting down.  “I want Justin to get better before he starts dating someone.”

“I don’t think Nick would be in a good, healthy relationship, being with your son.  He’s a cripple and that doesn’t make for a good life,” Janet said as Lynn got up, walked over to where Janet stood and then smacked the hell out of her as Jamie and Marshall had to move quickly to grab her, holding her back from hitting Janet again.

“You bitch!”  Lynn snapped, fuming mad as she struggled to get away from Jamie and Marshall as the nurse returned.

“There’s too much noise in here, I’m calling security,” the nurse stated, standing in the doorway to the room.

“Lynn, you need to calm down,” Jamie stated as he tried to hold Lynn back from hitting Janet again.

“Please stop Mom,” Justin begged as he slid out of the bed and got into his wheelchair.  “Please stop fighting.”

“Look at him, I’m right, can’t you see that!”  Janet snapped, pointing at Justin.  “Do you actually see yourself being with someone like him Nick?  Speak to me son.”

“Yes Mom, I do see myself being with him,” Nick answered for the first time, since he’d been in Justin’s room.  “He’s nice to me.  He’s making me happy right now.”

“How in the hell is he making you happy?  He can’t walk!”  Janet snapped, walking over to Nick as she pointed at Justin.

“He’s not Brian, he’s not Jacob and he’s definitely not James,” Nick stated as he looked up at Janet.  “I can feel it.  Justin’s different.  I don’t believe he’ll hurt me, not like they did.”

“Of course he’s different, he can’t walk away from you like the others did,” Janet said, shaking her head.  “Please tell me this isn’t a pity relationship.”

“Thank you Mrs. Canton,” Justin stated as he wheeled out of the room.

“Justin, Justin wait, please don’t go,” Nick said as he got up. “Thanks Mom, thank you very fucking much!”

“What in the hell is wrong with you?”  Lynn asked as she got away from Jamie and Marshall.  “There must be something wrong in that blond head of yours!  Do you realize what you’ve done?”

“I don’t really care,” Janet said as Lynn shook her head and then hauled off and smacked her in the face again.

To Be Continued…