If I Ain’t Got You – Chapter 7

Chapter 7 — Revelations, Part 2

Dec 30, 2002 – Orlando, FL – Florida Hospital – A Veranda in the Hospital 
“Come on Nick, say something else,” Aaron said as he held Nick’s hand. “Come on bro, you spoke for Justin, say something for me.”

“I think we’re going to break here for now,” Danielle stated as she got up from her chair and then grabbed some folders from the table. “We’ll pick up from here later on.”

“Do we have to?” Aaron asked as he got up and then walked over to Danielle.

“We’ve been here all morning and I’m quite sure everyone here would like to break to go get lunch,” Danielle stated as JT, Steve, Janet and Lynn got up from their seats.

“Yeah, I am hungry,” Aaron said as he walked back over to Nick. “I guess we can pick this up later on.”

“Well, look who’s here. Hello little man,” JT said as he Kasai and Mark entered the room.

“Daddy, where’s your chair?” Kasai asked as he walked over to JT and hugged him and then looked around the room.

“It’s up in my other office,” JT replied as he ruffled Kasai’s hair. “I assume you two are here to kidnap me for lunch, right?”

“Yep, we’re here to take you to lunch Daddy,” Kasai said with a smile. “I’m starving; could we please just go now?”

“Calm down sonny boy, give your Dad some time to gather his things,” Mark said as he patted Kasai on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry Daddy Mark,” Kasai sarcastically said as Mark raised an eye at him.

“For a young man going on fifteen years old, you sure do catch an attitude quickly,” Mark said as he glared at Kasai.

“Come on guys, don’t you two get started,” JT said as he walked back over to the table and leaned against the table. “Kai, would you go up to my office and grab my jacket for me?”

“Sure thing Daddy,” Kasai replied as he headed for the door.

“Baby, why are you always cutting me off when I get on to him?” Mark asked as he and JT sat down at the table.

“Come on honey, you know he’s had a hard time for the last couple of months,” JT said with a frown. “Since his Mom’s passing and all, I think he’s allowed to have some days too.”

“He’s been having a lot of those days lately baby,” Mark said as he looked down at the table.

“I know Mark, but I’m just trying to give him some time to heal and all,” JT said as he looked down.

“Give him time for what baby?” Mark asked as he draped his arm across JT’s should. “She was never in his life. He bounced from home to home. You’ve had him since he was a little kid. He knows you more than he knew her.”

“I know that baby, but she was still his mother. He knows that she’s gone forever and there’s no coming back for her,” JT said as he laid his head on Mark’s chest, forgetting that they had an audience in the room with them.

“Excuse me, but are you two intimately involved?” Justin asked as he rolled over to where Mark and JT sat.

“Oh…” Mark said as he looked up, looked at JT and then shook his head.

“Crap,” JT said as he sat up quickly, releasing Mark’s hand.

“Well it’s a little bit too late for that now. We all saw you two. You both are cute together as a couple,” Justin said as he extended his hand to Mark. “Hi, I’m Justin Tanner, but you can call me Justin.”

“Hi Justin, I already know you. I’m Mark Walden,” Mark said with a small smile.

“I knew that, just wanted to make sure you remembered it was me,” Justin said as he smiled weakly. “I’m a little bit shorter now though.”

“Justin,” Lynn spoke in a chastising tone.

“I am shorter now, if you haven’t noticed,” Justin said as he turned his head to look up at Lynn.

“That’s not true Justin. You’re still the same height, you’re just sitting down for the time being,” Mark stated.

“I’ll be doing this for a long time,” Justin said as he smiled weakly again.

“I doubt that Justin. Have you started with his exercise program yet?” Mark asked, pointing at JT.

“No, we start that later on today,” Justin answered as he looked at Mark strangely. “Is there something I should know?”

“Ah no, nothing at all,” Mark replied, chuckling as Kasai returned.

“Here you go Daddy,” Kasai said, handing JT his jacket. “Oh my God, it’s Justin Tanner!”

“Boy be quiet,” JT reprimanded Kasai.

“Daddy, this is Justin Tanner, the ‘Shut Up and Dance’ guy,” Kasai said as he covered his mouth and jumped up and down in the spot he stood in.

“He’s that guy?” JT asked as he looked between Justin and Kasai strangely.

“Yeah, he’s the guy Daddy. He’s the guy that did the thing on the football show,” Kasai stated as JT turned and looked at Justin.

“Damn,” Justin said as he looked down. “It looks like my reputation is catching up to me again.”

“I guess so,” JT replied as he shook his head as the way his son acted.

“Man, I’m so stoked right now,” Kasai said as he continued bouncing around with enthusiasm.

“Kai, please calm down son,” JT said as he grabbed Kasai by the hand.

“I can’t daddy, we have a legend here in front of us,” Kasai said as JT and Mark shook their heads.

“Yes, I know son, you’ve said that many times before. He’s the guy that stripped some woman’s clothes off while he was performing,” JT said as Justin looked up at him.

“No I didn’t, it was all an accident. I didn’t mean for her clothes to fall off the way they did,” Justin said as Kasai, JT and Mark laughed.

“Oh yes you did. That was a stunt for your song,” JT said with a smirk. “I’ve heard the song plenty of times in my home. Kasai here is one of your hardcore fans.”

“Oh cool,” Justin said as he reached out his hand to shake Kasai’s hand.

“So Dad, I’m starving here. Can we go eat now?” Kasai asked as he stepped away from Justin.

“Come on, let’s go feed motor mouth here,” Mark said as he put his arm around Kasai and walked out with him.

“It’s really going to be one of those days,” JT said as he got up from his chair and then fell down to the floor.

“JT!” Justin screamed out as Mark, Kasai and Lynn rushed over to where they were.

“Baby,” Mark said, looking JT in the face as he held him in his arms. “Are you alright?”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine, it’s just my legs. As always, they have gone out on me again,” JT said as he grabbed onto Mark and pulled himself up. “Did you drive the van today?”

“Yeah baby, I did,” Mark replied.

“Well go get the van and meet me at the side entrance,” JT said as he sat back down in the chair at the table. “Steve, will you run up to my office and get my wheelchair, please?”

“Will do boss,” Steve replied as he walked out of the room.

“Come on Kasai, let’s go get the van,” Mark spoke as he leaned in and kissed JT on the cheek.

“No, I’m staying here with Daddy,” Kasai declared as he wrapped his arms around JT’s waist, holding on tightly to him. “You go ahead without me; I’ll be right here with Daddy.”

“Fine, I’ll see you two in a few minutes,” Mark said as he shook his head and then walked out of the room.

“Young man, we need to have a talk,” JT said as he looked down at Kasai.

“Why? What did I do Daddy?” Kasai asked, looking away from JT.

“We’ll talk about that later on, but right now, I need you to do me a favor,” JT said as he hugged Kasai. “Go over to the desk over there and get my duffle bag.”

“Okay Daddy,” Kasai said as he got up and then passed by Aaron and Janet as he walked over to the table, picked up JT’s bag and returned over to where JT was as Steve returned with the wheelchair.

“Alright, we can roll out now,” JT said as he opened his bag, pulled out some leather gloves and then pulled them onto his hands. “Come on Kasai, let’s not keep Mark waiting.”

“Yes Daddy,” Kasai replied as the two of them left the room.

A Few Minutes Previously – Down in the Emergency Room

“Hey Angie, we’re getting ready to go. Are you still coming?” Mark asked as he stood in the doorway to Joshua’s exam room.

“Afraid not, I’m still working with Mr. Charles, as you can see,” Angela replied as she looked over at Mark. “It’s going to take a while to finish up with him.”

“Well, I see you have your hands full here. I guess we’ll hang out later on tonight when all of you get off then,” Mark said with a frown.

“I guess so. You guys go ahead without me,” Angela said as she shook her head. “I’m tired now; I might just go home and crash.”

“Are you sure Angie?” Mark asked as he watched her strangely.

“Yeah, I’ll grab something from the cafeteria,” Angela stated as she cut some tape and then applied it to a bandage on Joshua’s arms. “Tell that man of yours to stop by before he leaves for the night.”

“I’ll tell him,” Mark replied as he walked over, kissed her on the cheek and then walked out of the room, heading to get the van.

The Intensive Care Unit – Nick’s Room

Aaron’s POV

Dang, I wish I knew what was going on with my brother. Why did this happen to him? Why isn’t he talking to us? Why isn’t he talking to me? I—I thought we were cool with each other, but right now, I feel like I don’t matter to him anymore. He spoke to Justin, but he won’t speak to me. Why? Justin is a nobody to him, so why did he talk to him, but not to me or Mom?

From what Mom and Kevin says, this is all Brian’s fault. I can’t believe that Brian did the things I overheard Mom and Kevin talking about. Why did he do that to Nick? I thought he loved him. Why would he do something so bad to the person he’s supposed to love? If I had someone to love, I wouldn’t do something like that to hurt them. One day, I’ll have someone to love and they love me. One day…

Two Hours Later – Florida Hospital – Justin’s Hospital Room

“Oh man you really beat him up?” Justin asked as watched Christina.

“Yeah, I beat his ass like he owed me for back child support,” Christina replied as she punched her hand for emphasis.

“Chrissy, you have to be careful. You could’ve gone to jail if you got caught,” Justin stated as he shook his head and then leaned in to hug her. “I know you mean well and all, but you can’t keep beating him up to keep him away from me.”

“Oh yes I can. Josh is very smart. What is he really going to tell the cops?” Christina asked as she looked at Justin. “Is he really going to tell them that he got beat up by a girl? You know that’ll be the funniest thing if he told the truth about that ass whooping.”

“That would be funny, but still Chrissy…” Justin said as Christina cut him off.

“He’s been warned to stay away from you. He needs to get the picture, since he doesn’t seem to care about the restraining order against him. I’m sure after today, he’ll understand that I mean business when I say he needs to keep his distance from you,” Christina stated as she pulled out an emery board to file her nails.

“I hope for his sake, that he gets the picture this time,” Justin said as he tried to get comfortable in bed, after having a big lunch.

“Keep that up and you’re going to get fat, going to sleep after eating a big meal,” Jamie said, walking into the room with Marshall.

“Oh hush up Jamie,” Justin replied as he stuck his tongue out at his friend.

“How are you feeling this afternoon?” Jamie asked, walking over to Justin’s bed and then hugged him.

“I feel okay today for some strange reason,” Justin replied with a smile on his face.

“Look, he—he’s smiling,” Jamie said as Justin giggled.

“I do know how to smile,” Justin said as he looked up at Jamie and then waved at Marshall.

“But this is the first time I’ve seen you smile since you’ve been here in the hospital,” Jamie stated as he hugged Justin again. “What has you all happy and giddy today?”

“You act as if I can’t have a good day,” Justin said as he looked at Jamie with a strange expression on his face.

“Well, since you’ve been here, it hasn’t been a normal occurrence of you having them, but I’m happy all the same, whatever the case may be,” Jamie said as he shrugged and then smiled too.

“Did you know that JT’s gay and he has a lover and a kid?” Justin asked as he looked at Jamie with this faraway look in his eyes.

“Say what?” Jamie said as he sat down in the chair next to Justin’s bed as Christina moved over to the other side and then grabbed the other chair. “That tall black man is gay, has a lover and a kid?”

“Yeah, he’s gay, has a kid and this was the big blow away, Mark Walden is his lover,” Justin stated as Jamie’s jaw dropped as Christina fell out of her chair.

“No, say it ain’t so Justin,” Christina said as she shook her head. “Not ‘Bad Boy Mark’ Walden… I wanted that man when I was younger. He was the star of some of my hottest fantasies…”

“Please Chrissy, I don’t think we should be hearing this,” Justin said as he giggled some more and then made a face.

“So, you finding out that JT is gay and has a kid, has you in this good mood?” Jamie asked as he looked over at Christina and then waved his hand at her dismissively.

“Well it’s the fact that he’s like me and he has someone to love him,” Justin said as he sat up in bed. “If he can have someone to love him, then I’m sure someone will love me.”

“Good going honey. Because you’re down right now, doesn’t mean you won’t rise up again,” Christina said as her cell phone rang. “Hello?”

“I don’t think I’m going to be ready for JT’s session later on. Something that Mark said has me scared a bit,” Justin said as he shook his head.

“What did he say?” Jamie asked as Marshall walked over to them, standing next to his husband.

“Nothing really, it was the way he said it and then how he laughed about it,” Justin said with a frown.

“He probably was just joking with you. Don’t worry about it, I’m sure things will go just fine,” Jamie said as he rubbed Justin’s hand.

“I hope so. I want to be able to keep my good mood for a while,” Justin replied as Jamie looked at him funny.

“I think something else has you happy too. Spill it Justin, what else has your hormones up?” Jamie asked as Marshall rubbed his back.

“I talked to Nick Canton today,” Justin said with a dreamy look on his face.

“You talked to ‘Fifth Avenue Boys’ Nick?” Marshall asked as he looked at Justin.

“You talked with Nick Canton?” Jamie asked, looking up at Marshall and then back to Justin. “Why is Nick Canton visiting you?”

“He didn’t come to visit me,” Justin replied as the dreamy look faded away. “He—he’s here in the hospital too.”

“What’s wrong Justin?” Jamie asked, paying close attention to Justin’s facial expression. “What’s wrong with Nick? Why is he in the hospital?”

“Something bad happened to him,” Justin replied as the tears streamed down his face.

“What Justin? What happened to him?” Jamie asked, rubbing Justin’s hand.

“Someone hurt him. They hurt him very badly,” Justin said as he reached up and hugged Jamie.

Nick’s Hospital Room

“Come on baby, talk to Momma,” Janet spoke as she held Nick in her arms. “Just talk to me, tell me that you’re okay.”

“Janet, I don’t think he’s going to talk,” Kevin replied as he walked into the room. “I just think it was a touch and go type situation from earlier. I think he’s ashamed of what happened and thinks you’re ashamed of him too. I think he thinks you blame him for what happened.”

“No, it wasn’t a touch and go thing Kevin. My baby just doesn’t want to talk to me. He doesn’t want me to know what happened to him. I’m not ashamed of him, I love him. I just wish he could understand that. It wasn’t his fault for what Brian did to him. I don’t blame him, I blame Brian,” Janet said as she hugged Nick close to her chest.

“Calm down Mom,” Aaron said as he got up and walked over to Janet. “Please don’t get upset again.”

“I’m calm, I’ll be alright son,” Janet replied as she got up from the bed and then laid Nick down on his pillow. “I think I’m going to go for a walk.”

“I want to die, just let me die,” Nick softly spoke as Janet stopped at the door and turned around.

“Nick! No, don’t say that baby,” Janet said as she rushed back over to the bed and held Nick in her arms as he cried.

“Please, just let me die! I don’t want to live like this,” Nick said as he pushed away from Janet.

“Someone get the doctor,” Janet said as Nick thrashed around on the bed, kicking at anything near him.

“Let me go! Let me go damn it!” Nick screamed out as he continued to thrash about.

“Please baby, please tell me what’s wrong,” Janet said as she tried to hold Nick in her arms, trying to keep him from kicking and thrashing about.

“Stay away from me Brian! Stop! You’re hurting me!” Nick screamed out as he continued struggling to get away from Janet.

“Oh baby, stop, I’m not Brian. Brian’s not here, he’s far away from him,” Janet said as she tried to hug Nick to her chest again to calm him down.

“No! No! Don’t touch me! DON’T TOUCH ME BRIAN!” Nick screamed out as he pushed Janet to the floor and then ran to the corner of the room as he slid down the wall, pulled his knees up to his chest and started rocking back and forth.

“No Mom, don’t get too close to him,” Laura stated as the doctor rushed into the room.

“I think this will calm him down,” Dr. Donaldson said as he injected something into Nick’s arm that caused an immediate reaction as Nick started to calm down and then he was fast asleep.

“What did you give him doctor?” Janet asked as she moved closer.

“I gave him a little something to make him sleep for a while,” Dr. Donaldson replied.

“Doctor, why is this happening?” Janet asked as she looked down. “Why is he like this?”

“I think he’s finally coming back to reality and things are starting to sink in about what actually happened to him,” Dr. Donaldson stated as he and Kevin got Nick up off the floor and got him over to the bed as he grabbed Nick’s chart and wrote some things in different places throughout the pages. “He’s probably reliving what happened to him.”

“Oh God, no,” Aaron said as he shook his head.

“So you’re saying he’s just now remembering what happened to him?” Laura asked as she walked over to the doctor.

“That’s correct Ms. Canton,” Dr. Donaldson replied as he continued writing on Nick’s chart and then started writing some things on his notepad. “He should sleep the rest of the day and possibly the night. I think he’ll want to be alone for a bit. Just give him some space for the rest of the day and hopefully tomorrow will be different.”

“No doctor, I’m not going to leave my baby like this,” Janet declared as she looked up at the man.

“There’s really nothing you can do here right now Mrs. Canton. Your son is going to sleep for a while, possibly the entire day. He’s going to stay that way until the medication wears off,” Dr. Donaldson stated as he walked to the door. “Just give him a little time Mrs. Canton; he’s going to take all of this very hard.”

“How is he going to cope with what happened to him?” Janet asked as the tears streamed down her face. “From what I know about my son, he’s already taking this hard.”

“I don’t really know. It’s going to take some time, but I’m quite sure he’ll come to terms with it,” Dr. Donaldson said as he walked out of the room as Angela walked into the room.

“Hello,” Angela greeted everyone as she walked over to Nick’s bed. “I’m Angela Sebastian; I’ll be Mr. Canton’s nurse while he’s here.”

“What happened to Peaches?” Aaron asked as he looked up at Angela. “I thought she was going to be his nurse when he was moved to this room.”

“I think you’re referring to Tichina, am I correct?” Angela asked as she walked over to Aaron. “She was reassigned to the Pediatrics Ward.”

“Yeah, that’s her. She’s really cool,” Aaron said as he walked over to the windows as he sat on the edge of the sill.

“Well I’m not an old stiff or anything. I hope I still got some spunk left in me,” Angela said, giggling as Aaron just looked on. “Okay then, I’ll be back in an hour to check on him. You all have a great day.”

“Bye now,” Aaron said as he looked away again.

“I think I better contact Ms. Michaels and tell her of what just happened here. She might need to know about this,” Janet said as she looked over at Kevin and Laura.

“That’s a good idea Mom. I think I’m going to head back to the hotel. Do you want me to bring you back anything?” Laura asked as she looked over at her mother.

“No baby, I’ll be heading back to the hotel as well. I don’t see any reason for me to stay here while he’s sleeping,” Janet said as she smoothed Nick’s hair away from his face and then kissed him on his cheek. “I love you Nick.”

JT’s Office

“Hi Daddy, can I talk to you?” Kasai asked as he walked into JT’s office and then took a seat in front of the desk. “I have a big problem and…”

“What’s up buddy boy?” JT asked as he looked over at his son.

“I—I think I’m like you and Daddy Mark,” Kasai replied as he looked down as the tears fell from his eyes.

“You think you’re what buddy?” JT asked as he got up, walked around his desk and then sat down next to Kasai.

“For—for the last couple of weeks, I’ve been having these—these thoughts. They’re not regular thoughts, they’re sexual thoughts about guys and I don’t know what to do about them,” Kasai explained as he hugged onto JT as he cried on his chest.

“Come on buddy boy, there’s nothing for you to be crying for,” JT said as he patted Kasai on the back. “If you’re gay son, then that’s okay with me as long as you be true to yourself.”

“But but…” Kasai said as JT cut him off.

“But nothing son; if you’re gay, then you’re gay. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. It’s not like I’m going to love you any less,” JT said as Kasai looked up and then smiled as he sniffled.

“What about everyone else? What about Grandma? Oh God, what about Lisa?” Kasai asked as he looked down again and sniffled.

“The only thing I can tell you is that you need to be truthful to her and not lead her on,” JT said as he got back up to grab his phone. “Don’t worry about Grandma, I’ll handle her. First, I think you need to help me out.”

“Help you out, with what Daddy?” Kasai questioned as he looked up at JT strangely.

“Yeah son, help me out. It’s about time for Justin’s session. Do you want to join me?” JT asked as the smile on Kasai’s face grew.

“Oh God, would I ever,” Kasai replied as he got up and then hugged JT again. “Thanks Daddy, you’re the coolest dad I know.”

“Yeah, you say that now. Just wait until Mark does something you like next week and then he’ll be the coolest dad ever,” JT said with a laugh.

“No he won’t, you’re the coolest dad for me,” Kasai said as he hugged JT around the waist as there was a knock at the door as Steve walked into the room.

“Hi Steve, what’s up buddy?” JT asked as he looked over at Steve.

“Hey boss, hey little man, what’s up with you?” Steve asked as he walked over to Kasai and hugged him.

“Nothing’s up,” Kasai replied with a scared look on his face.

“Ah, did I interrupt something?” Steve asked as he looked between JT and Kasai. “Oh man, did I just interrupt one of those father son moments?”

“No, I think we’re done talking,” Kasai replied as he turned away from Steve.

“Well anyway, Justin’s ready and he’s down in the gym, ready to get going with his session,” Steve stated as Kasai turned back around.

“Oh well, I guess it’s time to go shock him back to walking again,” JT said as he got up out of his chair, grabbed his crutches and then pressed a button on the keyboard, turning off the computer.

“Daddy, I think you might need to get back into your chair. You might hurt yourself again,” Kasai suggested with a frown.

“I’ll be alright buddy. Don’t worry about me,” JT said as he stepped out of the room and headed down the hall towards the elevators.

“Are you going to stay here little man?” Steve asked as he collected some papers from a filing cabinet and then turned to Kasai.

“Steve, can I talk to you for a minute?” Kasai asked as he moved in front of Steve.

“Sure, what’s up little man?” Steve asked as he sat down in the chair and then patted the seat next to him for Kasai to join him.

“Well… Ah… I… Well… I… Ah… I did something I don’t know if I was supposed to do or not,” Kasai said as he held his head down.

“What did you do little man?” Steve asked as he watched Kasai.

“I—I had sex,” Kasai replied as the tears streamed down his face.

“You had sex with Lisa?” Steve asked, smiling. “Cool man.”

“No, I didn’t have sex with her, I—I had sex with a guy from school,” Kasai replied as Steve’s eyes widened.

“You had sex with a guy from school!” Steve spoke rather loudly as he jumped up from the chair. “Wait a minute, are you gay Kasai?”

“Yeah, I’m gay Steve,” Kasai replied as he looked down. “Dang, now I wish I hadn’t told you. I think I would’ve had better luck talking to Aunt Angie.”

“It’s… It’s really cool man. I’m just a little bit surprised is all. I had always suspected that there was a chance, but I wasn’t sure if you were or not,” Steve said as he leaned down and hugged Kasai. “You’re cool with me buddy; don’t you forget that.”

“Are you sure about that Steve?” Kasai asked as he looked at Steve closely.

“Yeah, I’m sure kid. Nothing’s going to change between us because you like guys instead of girls. That’s not a problem to me,” Steve said with a smile. “Is that what you and the boss were talking about?”

“Well no, I only told him about being gay. I didn’t tell him I already slept with someone. I don’t know how he’s going to react when he finds out about it and I’m basically scared to tell him in fear that he’ll kick my ass for it,” Kasai stated with a frown.

“Hey little big person, no cursing,” Steve said as he looked at Kasai sternly.

“Sorry Steve, I didn’t mean to. I’m just scared here. Daddy will be so upset with me and I don’t even want to think about what Daddy Mark will do and say,” Kasai said as he shook his head.

“It’s okay little man, just don’t let it happen again,” Steve said as Kasai looked down again.

“I just don’t know what to do right now,” Kasai said as he shook his head. “I don’t want to get into trouble, but I know if Daddy finds out, it’ll be trouble.”

“Well I suggest you tell him before he finds out. It’s better for him to find out from you and not from another source,” Steve suggested as he stood up and then rustled Kasai’s hair.

“Hey, watch the hair dude,” Kasai said as he stood up.

“Just get your Dad alone, while he’s in a good mood and tell him and things should be fine,” Steve stated as Kasai looked up at him and then frowned.

“I hope you’re right,” Kasai said as the two of them walked out of the office.

To Be Continued…