The Past Comes Knocking – Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – An Ending with a Revelation

May 24, 2004 – New York City, NY – The Marius Hilton – Nikki’s Hotel Room

Justin’s POV

Damn him to hell!  I can’t believe that fucker is behind all of this shit!  Then again, it’s Marc, so what would anyone expect from a low-down dirty bastard like him!  For a person that claims to like someone and want to see them succeed, he has a funny damn way of showing it.  He’s just a jealous asshole that caused all of this because JT wouldn’t be with him.

When I first met Marc, I knew he was nothing but trouble.  I—I should’ve fought more to be with JT, instead of letting Marc scare him away from me.  If it wasn’t for his damn meddling and him trying to blackmail me, I think me and JT could’ve gotten along just fine, instead of JT deciding to leave the show and go out on his own.  Maybe if I had told the others about what was going on back then, maybe none of this would be happening right now and I would actually be with JT and able to feel some kind of love in my own damn life.

Since I’ve been here, I’ve seen and heard some crap I really didn’t need to hear.  All of this stuff going on can’t be because of Marc being in love with JT and JT won’t be with him.  There has to be something more going on than just that.  This stuff is going way too deep than everyone’s letting on.  I don’t know what it is, but there has to be more to this, than what they all said and what I’ve heard.

Why would Marc let it out that JT was doing that crap that’s printed out there in the tabloids?  If Marc wanted to hurt him and his career, why didn’t he just come on out and tell the world the truth?  The world finding out that JT’s gay would more than likely be a career ender, for a guy that writes songs serenading women.  Why in the hell did he make up that shit about the drugs, the problems with money and his education?  That crap seems to be just too damn stupid to put out there.

“Come on baby, come out of the bathroom,” Vanessa said as she softly tapped on the bathroom door as I wondered how much damage this shit with Marc has caused him personally.

“Why don’t you all just go away!”  I heard JT snap as I frowned.  “I’m not going to come out of here until all of you are gone, you feel me?”

“Come on buddy, come out of there,” I said, walking over to the bathroom door and stood next to Vanessa.  “We need you out here, not in there.”

“Justin, why are you actually here?”  He asked as I heard him sniffle.  “Why don’t you just go back to Hollywood and go find Jessica, Emma or whoever.”

“JT,” I said as Vanessa looked at me.  “It wasn’t like that buddy.”

“This just keeps getting better and better by the minute,” Marc said as he stood over by the security guy in the room, doing his best to avoid the rest of us getting up in his ass.  He knows that if he makes a move away from that guy, that’s his ass where I’m concerned.

“Just keep your mouth zipped up Marc, we don’t need any commentary from the dick crowd, you fucking dick!”  I snapped as he backed into one of the guards, almost falling backwards as Nikki giggled and then covered her mouth as she shook her head.

“I—I’m not scared of you,” Marc said as I made a move towards him as he slid backwards on the floor, bumping into the other guard as Nikki burst out laughing as she waved her hand, fanning her face.

“Apparently you are,” Nikki said as she turned around.  “Fucking wimp.”

“Really, I’m not scared of him,” Marc said as I shook my head, turning my attention back to the bathroom door.

“Yeah, whatever man,” I said as I tapped on the bathroom door.  “Buddy, please come out of there.”

“I said NO!  I’m not coming out of here, until all of you are gone and I mean all of you!”  He snapped as I sighed again.

“Please JT, please come out of there,” I begged.

“I’m not going to say it again,” I heard as he sniffled again as Vanessa stepped in front of me and then tapped on the door again.

“Baby, please come out of there,” Vanessa spoke as she looked down.  “You can’t fix things if you stay in the bathroom.”

“There’s no need to fix things right now.  I’m too hurt to fix things.  If I’m going to hurt like this, what’s the fucking use,” JT said as my heart went out to him.

“Baby, things will be all right,” Vanessa said with a frown.  “All you have to do is tell the truth and things will be okay.”

“Things will never be okay, never!”  He screamed as we all heard something break.  “Damn it!”

“John Timothy Poole, what did you just do?”  Vanessa demanded.

“Momma, I’m in no mood…” JT started as Vanessa shook her head.

“Boy, I’m not in the mood for this either!  Your career is going down the drain right now and you’re held up in a damn bathroom no less,” Vanessa said as I shook my head.  “Get your narra ass out here and take care of business boy!”

In the time that I’ve known Vanessa, I’ve never heard her take that kind of tone with him before.  I know they’ve had their moments with each other, but the way she’s talking to him right now, she really means business.  If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that she was just like Marc, only out for one thing, money.  Well apparently, in Marc’s case, that one thing he wants from JT is sex.

“I think you need to do what she says buddy,” I said as the door clicked and then opened.

“Momma, just go back to wherever it was you came from,” JT said as he stood in the doorway of the bathroom.  “I’m going back to where I belong and—and I’m going to leave all of this behind.  This life has ruined things for me and that’s going to change.”

“You don’t really mean that boy,” Vanessa said as JT turned and looked at her.

“Like a damn heart attack,” was all he said as he walked towards the main room door.

“JT wait,” I said, grabbing his hand as he turned and looked at me as I saw sadness, fear and anger in his eyes.

“Get your hands off of me Justin!”  He snapped, snatching his hand out of mine.  “You have no right to be here, talking to me, like you belong around me!  You!  You are just like him!  Acting like you actually care about me, please!  You are the one that couldn’t handle the fire and decided to be with some damn hooker because you were scared that Marc would out you!”

“JT please,” I said, wishing he would stop.

“Please nothing Justin.  You are no better than him!  All the while when we were on the Mouse, you wanted to get together and I wouldn’t because you were young and then when you were of age, then you were scared that he would tell the world your dirty little secret.  It’s only love, but I guess love doesn’t really matter to you, only your name and damn reputation!”  He snapped as he shook his head.  “You have no damn reason being here, so don’t stand here in my face, acting like you actually care about me!”

“That’s not true, I do care about you buddy.  If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t be here right now,” I said, looking down at the floor as he shook his head.  He’s right, I choose Emma because I was scared that my career would hit rock bottom if the world found out about me.  With Emma, all I had to do was hang around with her and things was all right.

“So, as I said, you’re no better than that scum over there,” JT said as he pointed at Marc, pushed me away from him and then opened the door.

“JT wait,” Nikki called out as he turned and looked at her.  “You can’t just up and quit things.  You can’t just leave things the way they are.”

“I can and I am,” he replied, looking down again.  “I’m sorry Nikki, but I’ve let the world rule me for the last time.”

“You don’t have to let the world rule you JT.  You can live your life the way you want to.  Fuck what the world thinks, you live for you, not for them,” Nikki said as she smiled at him.  “I can care less if you like dick, hell I like it too, but don’t let this be the end of things because some fans have their heads up their asses.”

“Nikki, you don’t…” JT said as she shook her head.  “They won’t understand and they’ll expect…”

“Fuck what they expect JT,” Nikki said as she stepped in front of him.  “You be yourself and do you.  You don’t have to answer to anyone here.  Don’t listen to the rants of others or let their actions steer you in the wrong direction.  Because you’re gay doesn’t mean it’s the end of ‘Mutual Attraction’.”

“Listen to her baby,” Mo’ette said as she moved over to JT.  “Don’t let that fool turn you into me.  You are here now, fix this and get back on top, where you belong.  Don’t you fall down like I did baby.”

“Mo’ette,” was all he said as he wrapped his arms around her as the tears flowed down his cheeks.  “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too baby,” she replied as she rubbed his back.  “It seems it’s a big ole family reunion around here.”

“Seems like it,” he said as he sniffled again.  “Just like old times.  Me, you, Josh and—and Justin.  Those were the good ole days.”

“Yes they were buddy, the best I ever had,” I said, moving closer to him as I opened my arms and waited to see what would happen.

Outside of Nikki’s Hotel Room

Cameron’s POV

Maybe—maybe Taylor’s right about the way I’ve been acting.  He made a lot of valid points when we talked the other morning.  I guess it took for him to speak those things out for me to see where I had gone wrong.  I can’t hold JT responsible for what’s going wrong in our relationship, when I’ve been right there with him.  I should’ve told him what was wrong and did what I could to help change those things, instead of just up and leaving the way I did the other night.  If I want to be with him, really want to be with him, I need to give him the time he needs to work on us and not give up because he’s not moving as fast as I want him to.  Dang, it’s not like I’ve tried to change things.  All I did was whine a few times.  I love him and maybe I need to do something besides whine about things.

“Nikki you don’t…” I heard JT say as I peeked into the room.  “They won’t understand and they’ll expect…”

“Fuck what they expect JT,” I heard Nikki say as she appeared in front of the crack in the door.  “You be yourself and do you.  You don’t have to answer to anyone here.  Don’t listen to the rants of others or let their actions steer you in the wrong direction.  Because you’re gay, doesn’t mean it’s the end of ‘Mutual Attraction’.”

“Listen to her baby,” I heard an unknown voice say.  “Don’t let that fool turn you into me.  You are here now, fix this and get back on top where you belong.  Don’t you fall down like I did.”

“Mo’ette,” I heard JT say as I heard sniffling.  “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too baby,” I heard the unknown voice again.  “It seems it’s a big ole family reunion around here.”

“Seems like it,” JT said as he sniffled again.  “Just like old times.  Me, you, Josh and—and Justin.  Those were the good ole days.”

“Yes they were buddy, the best I ever had,” I heard another voice say as I pushed the door opened the rest of the way to see Justin Tanner with his arms wrapped around JT and a black woman I’ve never seen before.

What in the hell is going on around here?  What did I just walk in on?  Why is Justin Tanner here with his arms wrapped around my man?  Does he have anything to do with what’s going on with the security guys out front?  Are those guys here because he’s here?  I guess someone of his celebrity status would warrant so many security guys.

“Well, look what the cat drug in,” I heard behind me as I turned around to see Vanessa standing there.  “Hello Cameron, it’s about time that you showed your face.  Where in the hell have you been?”

“Well hello to you too Vanessa,” I said as she shook her head.

“I’m in no mood to deal with smarting off right now,” Vanessa said as she held her hand up.  “Where in the hell have you been?”

“I went home,” I replied as she shook her head.

“You went home?”  Nikki asked, walking over to where I stood.  “You went home when he needed you here?”

“Yes, I went home.  I—I needed to think and clear my head,” I said as she shook her head and then rolled her eyes.

“So, did you get enough thinking in?  While you were off thinking, your man was here, hurting, in need of your support,” she said as I looked at her funny.  Did—did he tell them about us?

“He—he told you guys?”  I asked as she put her hands on her hips with a look on her face that could probably melt the polar ice caps.  I guess he told them.

“It doesn’t really matter about who told,” she said as she got up in my face.  “What matters most is that you weren’t here to give him some support when he needed you.  What kind of boyfriend are you?”

“Look, we—we…” I tried to say as Nikki shook her head again and then poked my forehead with her finger.

“We nothing,” she said as she shook her head.  “A whole lot of shit has gone down and your ass was nowhere to be found when he needed you the most.  I don’t know why I didn’t suspect anything with you two sooner.”

“We did what we could to keep things under wraps,” I said as she sighed.

“Well a lot of good that did,” she said as she turned and looked at Marc.  “You were away at home, while your man here is suffering because of the actions of that creep over there.”

“I’m not a creep!”  Marc snapped as Justin moved away from JT and got in Marc’s face.

“Marc, don’t make me break my foot off in your ass,” Justin said as he pointed his finger in Marc’s face.  “Instead of you acting like the sniveling bastard that you are, you need to be fixing what you fucking did!”

“I done told you guys I had nothing to do with that crap!”  Marc snapped as I looked over at him, wondering what his part was in things.

“Is he responsible for what’s going on in the media right now?”  I asked.

“Yeah, he leaked a whole lot of lies it seems,” Nikki replied, walking over to where Justin stood.  “And he needs to do as Justin said and fix what he did.”

“I didn’t do it damn it!”  Marc snapped again as Justin hauled off and punched him in the face, knocking him down to the floor.

“Ooooow shit!  That hurt like hell,” Justin said as Nikki and the other black woman looked at him.

“Hey, it seems like nothing changed with that right hook of yours,” the black woman said as she patted Justin on the back.  “Good looking out handsome.”

“Why thank you very much Mo’ette,” Justin said as he smiled at the woman.  I guess that’s her name, Mo’ette.  It sounds like some cheap champagne or something.

“Since you’re refusing to fix what you did, I’ll make you fix things,” Vanessa said as she pulled out her cell phone and then walked out of the room.

“What a minute, what is she going to do?”  Marc asked, looking around the room.  “What is she going to do?”

“Who knows man, you know that she’s crazy,” I said as JT looked at me.

“So, why did you come back?”  JT asked with a frown on his face.

“I had to make sure that you’re okay and I—I think we… I think we need to talk,” I said as he shook his head.

“I’m just fine now Cameron and we don’t need to talk,” he said as he looked down and then took in a breath.  “I feel better now, than I have in a long time.”

“What—what do you mean by that?”  I asked.

“Maybe it was a good thing that you left me,” he said with a sniffle.  “It showed me that you couldn’t hang through the tough times.”

“That’s—that’s not true baby,” I said as he shook his head.

“It’s true Cameron, you left me, you left me here by myself to be almost molested by Marc of all people,” he said as I’m sure my eyes widened at hearing that.

“What?  What’re you talking about?  What did Marc do?”  I asked.

“Well if you had been here, you would know,” he said as he shook his head again.  “Thank you Cameron, thank you for opening my eyes.”

“No JT, no!”  I snapped as he held up his hand.  “No baby, no!  Don’t’ do this to us!”

“I’m not doing anything to us Cameron, you did this,” he said, looking over at Nikki and then at Mo’ette.  “You were the one that just up and left me.  You didn’t give me a chance to work on things with you.  You jumped the guy and up and left.  I didn’t think you were actually going to do it, until I realized that you weren’t going to show up for the last concert.”

“Please JT, please don’t do this,” I said as he turned his back to me.  “Baby please, I—I’m sorry.  I know I was wrong, but I was hurt and upset about…”

“And instead of waiting around to talk about it, you up and left and went home as you said,” he said, sniffling again.  “I could understand if you would’ve just sat backstage or stayed at the hotel or something, but no, you went home, I take it, you went all the way to Tacoma, am I right?”

“Yeah, I was in Tacoma,” I replied as he shook his head again.  “Baby please…”

“No Cameron, I— can’t do it, I won’t do it,” he said as he turned back to me.  “You leaving me the way you did, it hurt like hell.  You leaving me was of your own choosing.  You didn’t get help from anyone else, like others before you.  Unlike the others, you weren’t threatened or blackmailed, you were upset.”

“Yes I was upset, I felt…” I said as he shook his head again.

“No Cameron, you left me of your own free will.  You just up and left because you felt I wasn’t paying enough attention to you.  It was you that wanted to keep our relationship secret from everyone else.  I wanted to tell everyone, but you only thought of yourself and what you wanted,” he said as I looked down.

“I know baby, I know,” I said as he held up his hand.

“Stop calling me that.  I’m no longer your baby, not anymore,” he said as he sighed and then shook his head.  “You’ve lost the right to call me that.”

“Ba… JT please, please give me another chance here,” I said as he shook his head.

“Did you give me another chance Cameron?  No!  You just up and left me and I won’t go through that kind of hurt and pain again, never again with you,” he said as he moved away from the door.  “Cameron, I don’t want to discuss this anymore.”

“Okay,” was all I could say as it seemed my life was crashing down around me.  I fucked up!  I really fucked things up!

“To help you put some closure to things, this is for you and I hope you follow what I say,” he said as he turned around and then looked at me again.

If you see me walking down the street
And I start to cry each time we meet
Walk on by, walk on by
Make believe
that you don’t see the tears
Just let me grieve
in private ’cause each time I see you
I break down and cry

Walk on by (don’t stop)
walk on by (don’t stop)
walk on by

I just can’t get over losing you
And so if I seem broken and blue
Walk on by, walk on by
Foolish pride
Is all that I have left
So let me hide
The tears and the sadness you gave me
When you said goodbye

Walk on by
Walk on by
Walk by (don’t stop)

Walk on by, walk on by
Foolish pride
Is all that I have left
So let me hide
The tears and the sadness you gave me
When you said goodbye

Walk on by (don’t stop)
Walk on by (don’t stop)
Walk by (don’t stop)

“Thanks Nikki, thanks for accompanying me on the song,” he said as I shook my head, wondering how in the hell I was going to fix this with him now.  I really fucked up and from the words of his song, he wants me to let him go and leave him alone.

“Anytime sweetie,” she replied, glaring at me as the two of them walked out of the room past me.

“Damn it, damn it!”  I snapped as everyone in the room turned and looked at me.  “How in the hell am I going to fix this?”

“You’re not, just leave him the hell alone boy,” Vanessa said as she walked back into the room.  “Cameron, I thought you two would last, but I guess I was wrong, again.”

“Vanessa,” I said as she shook her head and then held up her hand.

“No Cameron, you brought that on yourself.  You shouldn’t have left him the way you did.  You tried to make him choose between you and his career and you know that wasn’t right,” she said as she walked over to me.  “You had no right to do that to him.  You know what wasn’t fair.”

“It’s not like that Vanessa,” I said as she glared at me.  “I—I didn’t want to be second best to his career.  I wasn’t trying to make him choose.”

“Yes you were Cameron,” she said as she waved her finger at me.  “Don’t deny it boy.  That’s what you told him and that’s what you told me.”

“I know what I said, but…” I said as she shook her head again and then held up her hand, stopping me.

“You made your own bed Cameron, now lay in it,” she said as she turned and walked out of the room.

“Vanessa,” I said as Marc looked at me, shook his head and then laughed.

“Ha ha, it looks like you’re alone again preppy.  Why don’t you pack your bags and leave,” Marc suggested, glaring at me.  “You heard what everyone said, you’re not wanted here anymore.  Get gone.”

“Excuse me, why are you talking?”  Mo’ette asked, stepping closer to Marc as the man with her stepped up behind her.  “You’re the one that should be leaving here.”

“Not likely.  Since I’m the one in control of things around here, I think it’s time you made your exit Ms. LaCasta.  You’ve caused enough problems around here, now leave,” Marc said with a smirk as he waved at a security guy in the room.  “Gentlemen, I want these three escorted out and then things can get back to normal.”

“What?  You can’t have us escorted out,” I said as Marc nodded his head and then laughed.

“To put it simply, there’s no reason for you being here.  As your ex-man just said, walk on by, don’t stop,” he said as he smiled again and then pointed at the door.  “Since you’re not wanted anymore, there’s no need for you hanging around this tour.  And since you were never part of the tour, you shouldn’t be here either.  Men, be gentle with them, but be forceful.”

To Be Continued…